Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, June 7 Thank you, Eugene!! ___________________________________________________ Today, June 7 in 1981 Israeli F-16 fighter-bombers destroyed Iraqs only nuclear reactor. ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Boy, 17, filmed himself raping baby before sexually assaulting schoolgirl ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
_____________________________________________________ Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted. --- Martin Luther King Jr. (1929 - 1968) _____________________________________________________ There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him. An angel hears his plea and appears to him. "Sorry, but you can't take your wealth with you," The man implores the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules. The man continues to pray that his wealth could follow him. The angel reappears and informs the man that God had decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathers his largest suitcase and fills it with pure gold bars and places it beside his bed. Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Gates of Heaven to greet St. Peter. Peter, seeing the suitcase, says, "Hold on, you can't bring that in here!" But, the man explains to Peter that he has permission and asks him to verify his story with the Lord. Sure enough, Peter checks and comes back saying, "You're right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I'm supposed to check its contents before letting it through." Peter opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaims, "You brought pavement?!?!?!" __________________________________________ Somebody is going to be very sorry tonight __________________________________________ After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic. My boss said, "Really? Where is Monosyllabia?" Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of Albania. He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Callum Scott, 17, Hertfordshire, England Boy, 17, filmed himself raping baby before sexually assaulting schoolgirl Police found videos Callum Scott recorded of himself raping an 18-month-old baby Callum Scott, 17, was handed in to police by his own grandmother who recognised him from CCTV issued as part of an appeal by officers investigating a separate sex attack on an 11-year-old girl. The youngster was targeted not long after leaving Letchworth Station in Hertfordshire in November 2019. After stalking her into an alleyway Scott grabbed the schoolgirl from behind, put a hand over her mouth to stifle her screams and molested her. Following his arrest police seized a number of his devices and found a horde of child sex abuse images, both real and animated. More disturbingly they also discovered clips of a series of horrific assaults Scott himself had carried out on an 18-month-old child and videoed in the preceding months. The teenager pleaded guilty to a total of 15 sex offences at St Albans Crown Court, including rape of a girl under 13, assaulting a girl under 13 by touching, taking indecent photographs of a child and making indecent photographs of a child. He was jailed for eight years and five months. ADVERTISEMENT Judge Philip Grey agreed to lift a reporting restriction which would have prohibited publication of anything leading to his identification until his 18th birthday in July following an application by HertsLive. He said there is no doubt that Scott is extremely dangerous to children. DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Harmony Re: Hotkey selections Dear Webby, Your tips for HotKeys are fantastic! Are there any more than what I see there? Harmony Dear Harmony, sorry, taking the garbage out is not available. Your husband / boyfriend is responsible for that. If you iron his shirt, he will probably do it quite cheerfully. Try scrolling the selection window. There are lots more further down. Have FUN! DearWebby
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____________________________________________________ | | Meaning of American Pie by Don McLean (w/lyrics) |
_____________________________________________ My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?" _____________________________________________ I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the next day would be the shortest day of the year. My lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time. Needless to say, she was very disappointed _____________________________________________ After living in the remote wilderness of Texas all his life, Sam decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not knowing what it was, he remarked, "How about that! Here's a picture of my daddy." He bought the 'picture', but on the way home he remembered that Anni, his wife didn't like his father. So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it. Anni began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn. One day after Sam left, she searched the barn and found the mirror. As she looked into the glass, Anni fumed, "So that's the ugly bitch he's runnin' around with." ____________________________________________ Morris a devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences on uncle Mendel's dairy farm Three weeks later a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The Jewish cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, with great joy..."It's a miracle!" "Not Really," said the cow. "Your name is written inside the cover." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today June 7 in 1494 Spain and Portugal divided the new lands they had discovered between themselves. 1498 Christopher Columbus left on his third voyage of exploration. 1546 Peace of Ardes ended the war between France and England. 1654 Louis XIV was crowned king of France. 1712 The Pennsylvania Assembly banned the importation of slaves. 1775 The United Colonies changed their name to the United States. 1776 Richard Henry Lee of Virginia proposed to the Continental Congress a resolution calling for a Declaration of Independence. 1863 Mexico City was captured by French troops. 1892 J.F. Palmer patented the cord bicycle tire. 1900 Boxer rebels cut the rail links between Peking and Tientsin in China. 1903 Professor Pierre Curie revealed the discovery of Polonium. 1929 The sovereign state of Vatican City came into existence as copies of the Lateran Treaty were exchanged in Rome. 1932 Over 7,000 war veterans marched on Washington, DC, demanding their bonuses. 1935 Pierre Laval received emergency powers to save the franc. 1939 King George VI and his wife, Queen Elizabeth, arrived in the U.S. It was the first visit to the U.S. by a reigning British monarch. 1942 The Battle of Midway ended. The sea and air battle lasted 4 days. Japan lost four carriers, a cruiser, and 292 aircraft, and suffered 2,500 casualties. The U.S. lost the Yorktown, the destroyer USS Hammann, 145 aircraft, and suffered 307 casualties. 1942 Japan landed troops on the islands of Attu and Kiska in the Aleutians. The U.S. invaded and recaptured the Alutians one year later. 1944 Off of the coast of Normandy, France, the Susan B. Anthony sank. All 2,689 people aboard survived. 1948 The Communists completed their takeover of Czechoslovakia. 1955 "The $64,000 Question" premiered. 1965 In the U.S., the Gemini 4 mission was completed. The mission featured the first spacewalk by an American. 1968 In Operation Swift Saber, U.S. Marines swept an area 10 miles northwest of Danang in South Vietnam. 1968 Legoland Billund opend in Billund, Denmark. It was the original Legoland park. 1981 Israeli F-16 fighter-bombers destroyed Iraqs only nuclear reactor. 1983 The U.S. ordered Nicaragua to close all six of its consulates and informed 21 Nicaraguan consular officials that they could not longer remain in the U.S. 1994 The United States District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia declared the RMS Titanic, Inc. (RMST) salvor-in-possession of the wreck and the wreck site of the RMS Titanic. 2000 U.S. Federal Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ordered the breakup of Microsoft Corporation. Bill Gates said NO. 2020 Do smiled. |
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