Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, June 14 ___________________________________________________ Today, June 14 in 1943 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that schoolchildren could not be made to salute the U.S. flag if doing so conflicted with their religious beliefs. _____________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Wichita man accused of shooting at cops charged with 22 counts ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
_____________________________________________________ At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies. --- P. G. Wodehouse (1881 - 1975) _____________________________________________________ A philosophy professor, widely noted as being more than casually eccentric, gave a one question final exam after an entire semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was seated and ready, when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist." Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One student, however, was up and finished in less than a minute. Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how this person could have received the highest grade when he had barely written anything. They found his answer consisted of two words: "What chair?" __________________________________________ Scratching her back You might have to click through the picure to see the full size. __________________________________________ Please note that a 3-year-old teacher is needed for pre- school. Experience preferred. There have been some complaints about children running in the corridor between the education annex and the sanctuary. Parents are asked to remind their children to be on their pest behavior. Everyone is excited about the upcoming wedding of Brad and Melody. They are having a "country style" wedding. Everyone is invited to join them as they exchange cows in the church courtyard June 17th. I want to remind the choir and all sinners to be at the park by 4:30 p.m. for warm up and sound checks. The Seniors group will have a picnic Saturday. Each person is asked to bring a friend, a vegetable, or dessert in a covered dish. Please welcome Pastor Don, a caring individual who loves hurting people. Remember the youth department rummage sale for Summer Camp. We have a Gents three-speed bicycle, also two ladies for sale, in good running order. We are especially thankful that when Sister Dora was At Death's Door, The Lord and her Doctors Pulled her through. ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Henry Parker, 28, Wichita, Kansas, USA Wichita man accused of shooting at cops charged with 22 counts Wichita man made his first appearance in court Tuesday afternoon after he was arrested for allegedly shooting at officers during an unlawful assembly last week. Henry Parker, 28, was charged with two counts of aggravated battery of a law enforcement officer. 19 counts of aggravated assault of a law officer and one count of criminal possession of a weapon by a convicted felon. In a news release last week Officer Charley Davidson said "the arrest stems from the investigation of an unlawful assembly that occurred at 21st and Arkansas on Monday (June 1) where Parker fired multiple shots at responding officers, and one officers helmet was struck by bullet pieces that had ricocheted near the officers." Video of the shooting was posted to social media. DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Moe Re: Combo Keys shortcuts Dear Webby, How about a recap of the hidden keys, the combo keys? Moe Dear Moe Most important combo is CTRL F4 If a site is a nuisance or attacks you, hit CTRL F4 and that tab closes. Some scammers block that combo, in that case hit ALT F4. That shuts down the browser. Go get ssome coffee. By the time you are back, you can usually restart the browser and restore the tabs. Close the tab that had led you into trouble. That brings me to the next combo: CTRL W Once you have identified the tab that led you into trouble, DON'T CLICK IT! Just highlight it and hit CTRL W and it has gone to hell. Also very important is CTRL SHIFT T If your spouse wants you to come to bed NOW and shuts down your browser, and you open it again later, it should ask you if you want to restore your previously open 57 tabs. Well, sometimes it opens multiple browser windows and you close too many of them without clicking RESTORE. Don't worry. They have not gone to hell. Just hit CTRL SHIFT T, twice if necessary, and sit back. It will restore all your tabs. You can also use CTRL SHIFT T to re-open a just closed tab. To get to the URL line, CTRL L To see the history and find that forgotten URL: CTRL H To Refresh a page: Ctrl R In Facebook, the J and the K keys scroll you down or up a page. If the spouse or boss is approaching, hitting the space bar "accidentally" instantly scrolls you down a page. Once the coast is clear, hit SHIFT and Spacebar to jump back up. Bookmark a page: CTRL D I haave no idea why they chose D for that, but that goes back to the good old days of Netscape. Another mystery key is CTRL K. It jumps to the search box If you want to go to the first tab: CTRL 1 Second tab: CTRL 2, and so on. Zoom in without mousing: CTRL +. Zoom OUT: CTRL - add .com to a URL: CTRL ENTER That goes back to the days when .com was the only choice. OK, that is enough for now. Have FUN! DearWebby
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____________________________________________________ | | 15 Unbelievable Places that Actually Exist |
_____________________________________________ A Yankee and a Scot were walking one day near the foot of one of the Scotish mountains. The Scot, wishing to impress the visitor, produced a famous echo to be heard in that place. When the echo returned clearly after nearly four minutes, the proud Scotsman, turning to the Yankee, exclaimed: "There, mon, ye canna show anything like that in your country!" "Oh I don't know," said the American, "I guess we can better that. Why, in my camp in the Rockies, when I go to bed I just lean out the window and call out, 'Time to get up; wake up!' and eight hours later the echo comes back and wakes me." _____________________________________________ 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle. 6. You should not confuse your career with your life. 7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. 8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. 9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. 10. Never lick a steak knife. 11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie. 12. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip. 13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. 14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven. 16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. 17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. 18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.) 19. Your friends love you anyway. _____________________________________________ A postman calls on a regular customer and is surprised to find hanging in her lounge a large white sheet with a hole in the middle of it. "What's that in aid of?" he inquired. "Well," the housewife blushed, "we had a big party here last night and after midnight things got a bit silly. In this game", she said, taking the sheet down, "a man would put his equipment through the hole, then the women came in and tried to identify the owner of the equipment. It was a scream!" "I'll bet it was," remarked the mailman, "wish I'd been there." "You should have been," she said, "your name came up three times." ____________________________________________ An elderly Jewish man is sitting on a park bench reading Louis Farrakhan's newspaper. His best friend walks by, sees the paper, and stops in shock. "What are you doing reading that paper?" he says. "You should be reading the Jewish Journal!" The elderly man replies, "The Jewish Journal has stories about anti-Semitism, problems in Israel and all kinds of troubles of the Jewish people. I like to read about good news. Farrakhan's paper says the Jews have all the money. The Jews control the banks. The Jews control the press. The Jews control Hollywood. It's all good news!" | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today June 14 in 1775 The Continental Army was founded by the Second Continental Congress for purposes of common defense. This event is considered to be the birth of the United States Army. On June 15, George Washington was appointed commander-in-chief. 1777 The Continental Congress in Philadelphia adopted the "Stars and Stripes" as the national flag of the United States. The Flag Resolution stated "Resolved: that the flag of the United States be made of thirteen stripes, alternate red and white; that the union be thirteen stars, white in a blue field, representing a new Constellation." On May 20, 1916, President Woodrow Wilson officially proclaimed June 14 "Flag Day" as a commemoration of the "Stars and Stripes." 1789 Captain William Bligh of the HMS Bounty arrived in Timor in a small boat. 1834 Cyrus Hall McCormick received a patent for his reaping machine. 1834 Isaac Fischer Jr. patented sandpaper. 1841 The first Canadian parliament opened in Kingston. 1846 A group of U.S. settlers in Sonoma proclaimed the Republic of California. 1900 Hawaii became a U.S. territory. 1907 Women in Norway won the right to vote. 1917 General John Pershing arrived in Paris during World War I. 1919 The first non-stop trans-Atlantic flight began. Captain John Alcot and Lt. Arthur Brown flew from Newfoundland to Ireland. 1922 Warren G. Harding became the first U.S. president to be heard on radio. The event was the dedication of the Francis Scott Key memorial at Fort McHenry. 1927 Nicaraguan President Adolfo Diaz signed a treaty with the U.S. allowing American intervention in his country. 1940 The Nazis opened their concentration camp at Auschwitz in German-occupied Poland. 1940 German troops entered Paris. As Paris became occupied loud speakers announced the implementation of a curfew being imposed for 8 p.m. 1943 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that schoolchildren could not be made to salute the U.S. flag if doing so conflicted with their religious beliefs. 1944 Sixty U.S. B-29 Superfortress' attacked an iron and steel works factory on Honshu Island. 1945 Burma was liberated by Britain. 1949 The state of Vietnam was formed. 1951 "Univac I" was unveiled. It was a computer designed for the U.S. Census Bureau and billed as the world's first commercial computer. 1952 The Nautilus was dedicated. It was the first nuclear powered submarine. 1954 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed an order adding the words "under God" to the Pledge of Allegiance. 1954 Americans took part in the first nation-wide civil defense test against atomic attack. 1965 A military triumvirate took control in Saigon, South Vietnam. 1967 Mariner 5 was launched from Cape Kennedy, FL. The space probe's flight took it past Venus. 1982 Argentine forces surrendered to British troops on the Falkland Islands. 1989 Former U.S. President Reagan received an honorary knighthood from Britain's Queen Elizabeth II. 1990 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld police checkpoints that are used to examine drivers for signs of intoxication. 2020 Do smiled. |
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