Good Morning, Do! Thank you, Mike !! Today is Friday, November 19 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Man killed in Chandler road rage shooting ___________________________________________________ Today, November 19 in 1990 NATO and the Warsaw Pact signed a treaty of nonaggression. ____________________________________________________ I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading. --- Zach Braff Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. --- Socratex ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Millie for this Oldie-Goldie. Have not printed this one for years: It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice and dropped in his fishing line. He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice and cut a hole in the ice not far from him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck. But, shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish. Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer. "Son, l've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You've been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?" The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm." "What was that?" the old man asked. Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm." "Look, I can't understand a word you're saying." The boy spit the bait into his hand and said, "You have to keep the worms warm!" ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ A young woman meets her old, retired, parish priest and when he asks her how she is, she bursts out crying. "What's the matter child?" he asks. "Oh, Father," she says, "it's my boyfriend. He won't marry me because I'm Roman Catholic." "There, there child. Here's what you do. Explain to him the faith of the Church, the traditions, the ceremonies and the rites. That'll bring him around." Tearfully, the young woman says she'll try it. About a year later, they meet again, and again she bursts into tears when he asks how she is doing. "Is it your boyfriend, child?" he asks. "Yes, Father." "Did you explain about the Church as I suggested?" "Yes, Father," she says, "but that was the problem. He was so taken by it that he's now studying to become a priest." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gabriel Paul Horcasitas, 50, Chandler, Arizona, USA Man killed in Chandler road rage shooting Man killed in Chandler road rage shooting was a U.S. Army veteran, family says A Chandler shooting victim was rushed to the hospital Saturday afternoon after an apparent road rage incident and soon after, he died from his injuries, says the police department. The shooting happened in the roadway of Gilbert and Germann roads, says Sgt. Jason McClimans on Nov. 13. The man who was shot died. He's identified as 37-year-old Christopher Pelkey. His family says he was a veteran of the U.S. Army. "We are treating this as a homicide and we are interviewing the suspect," Sgt. McClimans said. The suspect is identified as 50-year-old Gabriel Paul Horcasitas. "The investigation determined an altercation occurred while Horcasitas and Pelkey were driving northbound on Gilbert Road. Upon stopping for the red light at Germann Road, Pelkey exited the driver's seat of his vehicle and walked back towards Horcasitas' vehicle, which was stopped directly behind Pelkey's vehicle," McClimans said. Horcasitas honked his horn at Pelkey, Pelkey got out of his truck, he threw his hands in the air, then Horcasitas opened fire, police further explained. Horcasitas fired his gun several times, striking Pelkey. Pelkey was not armed with a gun or another kind of weapon. "One of these rounds from Horcasitas' firearm also struck a nearby vehicle occupied by a family of three," McClimans said. Horcasitas will be booked into the Maricopa County Jail on suspicion of first-degree murder, drive-by shooting and endangerment. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Ada Re: Monitor size Dear Webby My trusty old 19 tube type monitor is dying. Nobody can fix it. I love the high resolution and photo type 4:3 aspect ratio, but I know I will have to slum down to a sawed off type. What size would you recommend? Ada Dear Ada Ge the biggest size that you can fit into your budget. Because of the 16:9 aspect ratio, -instead of the traditional 4:3 -, it will appear like they sawed off the bottom 3 inches. With a larger monitor you can crank down the resolution and still be able to read the text, and get a full page on screen. 17" is nice, 19" is nicer, and 21" is gorgeous. Just get the biggest that you can fit into your budget, and expect to do some cussing. Keep in mind, you can change the screen resolution by holding down the CTRL key and rolling the scroll wheel. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!" Another one said, "How do you know?" The first inmate said, "God told me!" A voice from another room shouted, "I did NOT!" ______________________________________________ This older couple met their demise in an auto accident and were transported to Heaven. As they were waiting to be processed, they began to look all around at their setting for eternity. The wife was amazed at the beauty, the peace and the contentment she felt and commented over and over about what a nice place Heaven was and how fortunate she felt to be there. She asked her mate:"What would you do if you could go back for just one day?" "I'd go strangle whoever invented bran muffins. We could have been here 15 years ago!" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn't believe in capital punishment and didn't want her personal thoughts to prevent the trial from running its proper course. But the public defender liked her thoughtfulness, and tried to convince her that she was appropriate to serve on the jury. "Madam," he explained, "This is not a murder trial! It's a simple civil lawsuit. A wife is bringing this case against her husband because he gambled away the $12,000 he had promised to use to remodel the kitchen for her birthday." "Well, okay," agreed Mrs. Hunter, "I'll serve. I guess I could be wrong about capital punishment after all!" ___________________________________________________ | Today, November 19, in 1794 Britain's King George III signed the Jay Treaty. It resolved the issues left over from the Revolutionary War. 1850 The first life insurance policy for a woman was issued. Carolyn Ingraham, 36 years old, bought the policy in Madison, NJ. 1863 U.S. President Lincoln delivered his Gettysburg Address as he dedicated a national cemetery at the site of the Civil War battlefield in Pennsylvania. 1893 The first newspaper color supplement was published in the Sunday New York World. 1895 The "paper pencil" was patented by Frederick E. Blaisdell. 1919 The U.S. Senate rejected the Treaty of Versailles with a vote of 55 in favor to 39 against. A two-thirds majority was needed for ratification. 1928 "Time" magazine presented its cover in color for the first time. The subject was Japanese Emperor Hirohito. 1942 During World War II, Russian forces launched their winter offensive against the Germans along the Don front. 1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service on the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey. 1959 Ford Motor Co. announced it was ending the production of the unpopular Edsel. 1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles Conrad and Alan Bean made man's second landing on the moon. 1970 Hafiz al-Assad seized power in Syria. 1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab leader to set foot in Israel on an official visit. 1981 U.S. Steel agreed to pay $6.3 million for Marathon Oil. 1985 U.S. President Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev met for the first time as they began their summit in Geneva. 1990 NATO and the Warsaw Pact signed a treaty of nonaggression. 1993 The U.S. Senate approved a sweeping $22.3 billion anti- crime measure. 1994 The U.N. Security Council authorized NATO to bomb rebel Serb forces striking from neighboring Croatia. 1997 In Carlisle, IA, septuplets were born to Bobbi McCaughey. It was only the second known case where all seven were born alive. 1998 The impeachment inquiry of U.S. President Clinton began. 1998 Vincent van Gogh's "Portrait of the Artist Without Beard" sold at auction for more than $71 million. 1999 In Istanbul, Turkey, the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe (OSCE) concluded a two-day summit after adopting a new arms accord. During the conference, Russia was criticized for its military campaign against Chechnya's separatist movement. 2001 U.S. President George W. Bush signed the most comprehensive air security bill in U.S. history. 2002 The oil tanker Prestige broke into two pieces and sank off northwest Spain. The tanker lost about 2 million gallons of fuel oil when it ruptured November 13th and was towed about 150 miles out to sea. 2002 The U.S. government completed its takeover of security at 424 airports nationwide. 2003 Eight competing designs for a memorial to the victims of the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks at the World Trade Center were unveiled. One design would be built at the site of the World Trade Center. 2007 The Amazon Kindle was first released 2021 Do smiled. |
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