Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, September 11 What were you doing when the world changed today in 2001? Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award: Arrested for triple murder in Connecticut ______________________________________________________ Today, September 11 in 1875 "Professor Tidwissel's Burglar Alarm" was featured in the New York Daily Graphic and became the first comic strip to appear in a newspaper. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. --- William Blake (1757 - 1827) ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A father noticed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace." The son replied, "When Lincoln was your age, he was The President of The United States." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The preacher was having a heart-to-heart talk with a backslider of his flock, whose drinking of moonshine invariably led to quarreling with his neighbors, and occasional shotgun blasts at some of them. "Can't you see, Ben," intoned the parson, "that not one good thing comes out of this drinking?" "Well, I sort of disagree there," replied the backslider. "It makes me miss the folks I shoot at." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my Mom would be like. It seems the minister asked my Mom, "Do you take this man to be your husband." And she said, "I do." Then the minister asked my Dad, "Do you take this woman to be your wife," and my Mom said, "He better!" ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ruth Correa, 23, Griswold, Connecticut Arrested for triple murder in Connecticut For more than four months, 21-year-old Matthew Lindquist was considered a suspect in the murders of his parents, found inside their burned-out home in Griswold, Conn., on Dec. 20. All the time, he was lying dead 1,500 feet away, a third victim of what police describe as a fake robbery turned real. According to an arrest affidavit released Tuesday, Lindquist had offered his father's guns to a man in exchange for drugs, so long as the man staged the scene to look like a burglary. That's not what happened. Now charged in the case, 23-year-old Ruth Correa reportedly told police her brother, Sergio Correa, hit Lindquist in the head with a machete after Lindquist panicked, per the Washington Post. The siblings then stabbed Lindquist, leaving his body in the woods near his parents' home, which they entered through a basement door they knew to be unlocked, per the affidavit. When Kenneth and Janet Lindquist appeared, 26-year-old Sergio hit Kenneth, 56, with a baseball bat while Ruth told Janet that "her son had set her up," the affidavit states, per NBC Connecticut. The document says Sergio then choked Janet, 61, and hit her in the head with the bat before he and his sister set the house alight and took off with stolen goods and Matthew Lindquist's car, later found burned. After reportedly telling police that her brother might be planning to kill her, Ruth Correa was arrested on charges of murder, home invasion, arson, and robbery on May 12, a week after Matthew Lindquist's body was found. At the time, police said additional arrests were expected. Sergio Correa has yet to be charged, though. He's in police custody following a February arrest for probation violations and "maintains he had nothing to do with this," his lawyer tells the Hartford Courant. From: Lucy Re: Eye strain Dear Webby, I am working on a large but very important project, but lately after half a day or so, my eyes get tired and sandy. When that happens, I can't concentrate and all I want to do is go for a nap. Is there a solution for that? Lucy Dear Lucy First check the air currents in the room. If necessary, get a smoker to assist you. Especially in a darkened room a flashlight and some smoke will quickly tell you if air from anywhere is bouncing off the monitor or keyboard into your face and drying your eyes. If it is, deflect the air somehwre else. Secondly, raise the monitor or lower the chair so that you sit in the sexy positioning like the typists before the Libber age, chest out, back and neck straight, head slightly raised so that a ruler placed under your chin and pointing forward, points slightly upward, not level or down. Your neck and head circulation will improve instantly, and your eyes will feel a lot better. As a fringe benefit, especially if you combine that pre-Libber body posture with a silly grin about it, works as an anti- depressant and mood optimizer. You will also get a lot more compliments! Have FUN DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Thanks to Sandie for this story: A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy two servings per night and a few more on weekends, I consume 3,500 calories of chocolate in a week, which equals to one pound of weight per week. Therefore, in the last three and a half years, I have had a chocolate caloric intake of about 180 pounds. I only weigh 165 pounds, so without chocolate, I would have wasted away to nothing about three months ago. I owe my life to chocolate! | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A mother looked out a window and saw Johnny playing church with their three kittens. He had them lined up and was preaching to them. The mother turned around to do some work. A while later she heard meowing and scratching on the door. She went to the window and saw Johnny baptizing the kittens. She opened the window and said, "Johnny, stop that! You'll drown those kittens." Johnny looked at her and said with much conviction in his voice: "They should have thought of that before they joined my church." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com September Home and Garden Bargains September is a great month to get items for your home and garden at clearance prices. Keep an eye out for seeds, plants, planters, deck stain, outdoor grills and garden tools. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | The Coconut Palace of the Philippines |
___________________________________________________ An American is taking a train from London to Manchester. During the trip he starts complaining about the British to the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment. "You English are too stuffy," the American says. "You think your stiff upper lips set you above the rest of us. Look at me: I have Italian blood, French blood, a little Indian blood and some Swedish blood. What do you say to that?" Says the Englishman dryly, "Very sporting of your mother." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "Ain't been any for years!" Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming toward the shore. As he got closer to shore he shouted to the guy again "What did you do to get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em all." ____________________________________________________ | Today, September 11 in 1297 Scotsman William Wallace defeated the English forces of Sir Hugh de Cressingham at the Battle of Stirling Bridge. 1499 French forces took over Milan, Italy. 1609 Explorer Henry Hudson sailed into New York harbor and discovered Manhattan Island and the Hudson River. 1695 Imperial troops under Eugene of Savoy defeated the Turks at the Battle of Zenta. 1709 An Anglo-Dutch-Austrian force defeated the French in the Battle of Malplaquet. 1714 Spanish and French troops broke into Barcelona and ended Catalonia's sovereignty after 13 months of seige. 1776 A Peace Conference was held between British General Howe and three representatives of the Continental Congress (Benjamin Franklin, John Adams and Edward Rutledge). The conference failed and the American war for independence continued for seven more years. 1777 American forces, under General George Washington, were forced to retreat at the Battle of Brandywine Creek by British forces under William Howe. The Stars and Stripes (American flag) were carried for the first time in the battle. 1814 The U.S. fleet defeated a squadron of British ships in the Battle of Lake Champlain, VT. 1842 1,400 Mexican troops captured San Antonio, TX. The Mexicans retreated with prisoners. 1855 The siege of Sevastopol ended when French, British and Piedmontese troops captured the main naval base of the Russian Black fleet in the Crimean War. 1875 "Professor Tidwissel's Burglar Alarm" was featured in the New York Daily Graphic and became the first comic strip to appear in a newspaper. 1877 The first comic-character timepiece was patented by the Waterbury Clock Company. 1883 The mail chute was patented by James Cutler. The new device was first used in the Elwood Building in Rochester, NY. 1897 A ten-week strike of coal workers in Pennsylvania, WV, and Ohio came to an end. The workers won an eight-hour workday, semi-monthly pay, and company stores were abolished. 1904 The U.S. battleship Connecticut was launched in New York. 1910 In Hollywood, the first commercially successful electric bus line opened. 1926 In Honolulu Harbor, HI, the Aloha Tower was dedicated. 1936 Boulder Dam in Nevada was dedicated by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt by turning on the dam's first hydroelectric generator. The dam is now called Hoover Dam. 1941 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt gave orders to attack any German or Italian vessels found in U.S. defensive waters. The U.S. had not officially entered World War II at this time. 1941 Charles A. Lindbergh brought on charges of anti-Semitism with a speech in which he blamed "the British, the Jewish and the Roosevelt administration" for trying to draw the United States into World War II. 1941 In Arlington, VA, the groundbreaking ceremony for the Pentagon took place. 1951 Florence Chadwick became the first woman to swim the English Channel from both directions. 1952 Dr. Charles Hufnagel successfully replaced a diseased aorta valve with an artificial valve made of plastic. 1954 The Miss America beauty pageant made its network TV debut on ABC. Miss California, Lee Ann Meriwether, was the winner. 1959 The U.S. Congress passed a bill authorizing the creation of food stamps. 1965 The 1st Cavalry Division (Airmobile) arrived in South Vietnam and was stationed at An Khe. 1974 "Little House On The Prairie" made its television debut. 1977 The Atari 2600 was released. It was originally sold as the Atari VCS. The system was discontinued on January 1, 1992. 1985 A U.S. satellite passed through the tail of the Giacobini- Zinner comet. It was the first on-the-spot sampling of a comet. 1991 Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev announced that thousands of troops would be drawn out of Cuba. 1997 Scotland voted to create its own Parliament after 290 years of rule by England. 1998 Independent counsel Kenneth Starr sent a report to the U.S. Congress accusing President Clinton of 11 possible impeachable offenses. 2001 In the U.S., four airliners were hijacked and were intentionally crashed. Two airliners hit the World Trade Center, which collapsed shortly after, in New York City, NY. One airliner hit the Pentagon in Arlington, VA. Another airliner crashed into a field in Pennsylvania. About 3,000 people were killed. 2012 Terrorists attacked the U.S. consulate in Benghazi, Libya. Ambassador Stevens and four other Americans were brutally murdered and ten others were injured. 2018 Do smiled. |
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