Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, December 18 Are you interested in getting mycheer.com mycheers.com $15 each. You can use them for anything you want. ____________________________________________________ Today, December 18 in 1865 U.S. Secretary of State William Seward issued a statement verifying the ratification of the 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. The amendment abolished slavery with the declaration: "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction." ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Man with homemade license plate drawn with crayon arrested in Indiana _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) _______________________________________________ GROAN ALERT: Ben Kenobi and Luke Flyswatter are having a Chinese supper. Ben picks up the chopsticks and starts eating. Luke is having problems, there is food over his face, his clothes, and the table, but not much in his mouth. "What should I do?" he asks Ben. "Use the forks, Luke!" _______________________________________________ Count the "F"s in the following text: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS. The answer is near the end. ________________________________________________` ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Steven Knutson, 62, Chicago, Illinois 62-year-old Illinois driver imprisoned for 26th revoked license conviction A suburban Chicago man who has spent decades getting arrested and convicted of driving on a revoked license was sentenced Monday to six years in prison after his 26th charge for the crime. The Lake County State's Attorney's Office said in a news release that 62-year-old Steven Knutson of Round Lake Beach pleaded guilty and was taken into custody immediately. Spokesmen for the state's attorney's office and the Illinois Secretary of State's office said they had never heard of anyone getting arrested and charged that many times for driving on a revoked license. A spokesman for the county's state's attorney did not know if Knutson has ever been sentenced to prison following his previous convictions. If it's not a record, it's right up there, said Dave Druker, spokesman for Secretary of State Jesse White. This is a decision we like to see from the courts because it sends a message that getting behind the wheel of a car without a license is very serious. Knutson's most recent arrest came in March, when he was stopped by Round Lake Beach Police after witnesses reported that he had driven his pickup truck into a parked car. At the time of that arrest, he was driving on a license that had been revoked for life following a 2010 conviction for aggravated drunken driving. After he was issued a citation by police for driving on a revoked license, an investigation by attorneys with the village revealed a string of incidents in which he was arrested for exactly the same thing. Sixteen of those arrests came in Cook County, four came in Winnebago County, and three each in Kane and Lake counties. All but two of his arrests occurred between 1982 and 2004. Had he gone to trial, Knutson could have been sentenced to up to seven years in prison. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Randall Re: Missing Child Dear Webby, Amber alert please look at the picture, read what her father says, then forward his message on. .... Dear Randall Please check the Urban Legends (link on the right side) before forwarding old hoaxes. Penny Brown is not missing. Some gullible soul might see that picture and cause problems for some innocent girl, maybe even Penny Brown's grand daughter. There is NO Amber alert for any Penny Brown, and there never will be one, even if a real Penny Brown goes missing. The Penny Brown hoax was one of the earliest Internet hoaxes, and few people would take it seriously now. Some clown updated it a couple of years ago and added the Amber Alert line and sent it around AOL again. From there of course it spread all over the web again Whenever you get a long mail with a request to forward it to everybody, it's a hoax. If you see an Amber Alert, that is not from your local police, ignore it. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. Quiz answer: 3: most common answer. 4: rarely found answer 5: You probably use DSL or Fibre to get onto the net 6: You probably have a domain with your name or nickname. 6 is correct. Don't forget to count the thre "OF"s. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A Canadian customer was calling to find out if there was a faster way to trigger menu commands than mousing up to the menus. Agent: Certainly, sir. There are keyboard shortcuts for many of those commands. For example, suppose you want to trigger the Select All command... Caller: Yes, I use that one all the time! How do I do it? Agent: Well, you just press Control-A. Caller (after a pause): Well, that's not working for me. Agent: Do you have a text document open in front of you? Caller: Yes, I sure do. Agent: OK, now press Control-A. Caller: I am, but nothing happens. Agent: The text isn't highlighted? Caller: No, there's no change at all. Agent: That's odd. If you press Control-A the whole document should be highlighted. Try it again. Press Control-A. Tell me exactly what's happening. Caller (nearing his Canadian breaking point): Listen. I'm pressing Control, eh? And nothing's happening, eh? What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Check the Weather When Traveling When traveling, make sure to check the weather in the city you are traveling from as well as the city you are traveling to and any connecting cities. It will give you an idea of whether or not you may have delays and what to expect when you get there. Click Here For More Travel Tips http://www.thriftyfun.com/Travel_1179.html Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert. "What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked. Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc. Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand. "Yes Davey, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?" asked the Scout Master. Davey replied, "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards." "Why is that Davey?" asked the Scout Master. "Well," answered Davey, " the compass is to find the right direction, and the water is to prevent dehydration." "And what about the deck of cards?" asked the Scout Master impatiently. Davey replied, "Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, 'Put that red nine on top of that black ten'." ___________________________________________________ Jill was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome of the Insurance policy with the man at the Insurance Agency. During the discussion, she asked, "Suppose I take the life insurance for my husband today and tomorrow he dies? What will I get?" The agent eyed her suspiciously and replied, "Probably 20 to life." ___________________________________________________ When she got flowers from her husband, my daughter's friend quickly opened the card. All it said was "No." What did that mean? She called her husband, who said, "I didn't attach any message. The florist asked if I had a message and I said, 'No.'" __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today December 18 in 1796 The "Monitor," of Baltimore, MD, was published as the first Sunday newspaper. 1862 The first orthopedic hospital was organized in New York City. It was called the Hospital for Ruptured and Crippled. 1865 U.S. Secretary of State William Seward issued a statement verifying the ratification of the 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. The amendment abolished slavery with the declaration: "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction." 1898 A new automobile speed record was set at 39 mph (63 kph). 1903 The Panama Canal Zone was acquired 'in perpetuity' by the U.S. for an annual rent. 1912 The discovery of the Piltdown Man in East Sussex was announced. It was proved to be a hoax in 1953. 1916 During World War I, after 10 months of fighting the French defeated the Germans in the Battle of Verdun. 1936 Su-Lin, the first giant panda to come to the U.S. from China, arrived in San Francisco, CA. The bear was sold to the Brookfield Zoo for $8,750. 1940 Adolf Hitler signed a secret directive ordering preparations for a Nazi invasion of the Soviet Union. Operation "Barbarossa" was launched in June 1941. 1944 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the wartime relocation of Japanese-Americans to concentration camps, but also stated that undeniably loyal Americans of Japanese ancestry could not be detained. 1950 NATO foreign ministers approved plans to defend Western Europe, including the use of nuclear weapons, if necessary. 1953 WPTZ, in Philadelphia, PA, presented a Felso commercial, it was the first color telecast seen on a local station. 1956 Japan was admitted to the United Nations. 1957 The Shippingport Atomic Power Station in Pennsylvania went online. It was the first nuclear facility to generate electricity in the United States. It was taken out of service in 1982. 1965 Kenneth LeBel jumped 17 barrels on ice skates. 1969 Britain's Parliament abolished the death penalty for murder. 1970 Divorce became legal in Italy. 1972 The United States began the heaviest bombing of North Vietnam during the Vietnam War. The attack ended 12 days later. 1973 The IRA launched its Christmas bombing campaign in London. 1979 The sound barrier was broken on land for the first time by Stanley Barrett when he drove at 739.6 mph. 1983 Wayne Gretzky (Edmonton Oilers) scored his 100th point in the 34th game of the season. 1987 Ivan F. Boesky was sentenced to three years in prison for plotting Wall Street's biggest insider-trading scandal. He only served about two years of the sentence. 1996 Despite a U.N. truce, factional fighting in the Somali capital of Mogadishu, broke out in which at least 300 fighters and civilians were killed. 1998 The U.S. House of Representatives began the debate on the four articles of impeachment concerning U.S. President Bill Clinton. It was only the second time in U.S. history that process had begun. 1998 Russia recalled its U.S. ambassador in protest of the U.S. attacks on Iraq. 1998 South Carolina proceeded with the U.S.' 500th execution since capital punishment was restored. 1999 After living atop an ancient redwood in Humboldt County, CA, for two years, environmental activist Julia "Butterfly" Hill came down, ending her anti-logging protest. 2001 A fire damaged New York City's St. John Cathedral. The cathedral is the largest in the United States. 2009 General Motors announced that it would shut down its Saab brand. 2009 A Paris court ruled that Google was breaking French law with its policy of digitizing books and fined the company a $14,300-a-day fine until it rids its search engine of the literary extracts. 2009 James Cameron's movie "Avatar" was released in the United States. On January 26, the movie became the highest-grossing film worldwide. 2010 In Nanjing, China, the Zifeng Tower opened. 2019 Do smiled. |
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