Good Morning, Do, Today is Thursday, November 10 Have FUN! DearWebby Todays Bonehead Award: Burglar breaks into St. Petersburg apartment, steals cash, cooks and eats pizza Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 10, in 1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence after the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The Marine Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. This day is observed as the birth date of the United States Marine Corps. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) There are people who, instead of listening to what is being said to them, are already listening to what they are going to say themselves. --- Albert Guinon One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you." --- George Carlin ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Lawyer: How do you feel about defense attorneys? Juror: I think they should all be drowned at birth. Lawyer: Well, then, you are obviously biased for the prosecution. Juror: Not quite true, sir. I think prosecutors should be incinerated at birth. ______________________________________________________ A young man took a city girl for a date at a fancy restaurant out past the suburbs. While studying the menu she asked, "What's filet mignon?" Thinking fast, her date replied, "It's pickled goat's liver. Why?" ______________________________________________________ >From FB ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Antionne David, 31, St. Petersburg, Floriduh Burglar breaks into St. Petersburg apartment, steals cash, cooks and eats pizza A St. Petersburg man is behind bars after he reportedly broke into a St. Pete apartment, stole cash and cooked and ate a pizza while inside. According to the affidavit, St. Pete police say Antionne David, 31, allegedly broke into a locked apartment at 450 5th Avenue North sometime between October 17th and October 18th. Police say David forced entry into the residence and once inside he took $35 cash, along with food. He reportedly cooked himself a pizza inside of the victim's microwave and ate it. Police found David's fingerprints on the pizza box and in several locations throughout the apartment. The victim and the suspect do not know each other personally. David is being held at the Pinellas County jail on $10,000 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits >From Elmar Re: Mis-spellings in spam Dear Webby, Why does spam nowadays have so many mis-spellings and garbled words in it ? Even the garbage language the kids use on their chats makes more sense. Elmar Dear Elmar The spammers know that we are using filters to get rid of their crap, and they are trying to sneak around those filters. Nobody with the smarts of a mashed potato buys from one of those spammers, but unfortunately there are enough idiots out there to make it profitable enough for the spammers to keep trying. Very few of the spam victims ever get what they paid for, but that does not seem to stop other bozos from believing spammers. Have FUN! DearWebby Nobody is perfect unless you are in love with them. Nobody is totally imperfect, unless you used to be in love with them. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reuse Coffee Creamer Containers for Storage I dislike grocery shopping, particularly in the wintertime. I get a head start during the summer. I watch for sales on staples. The more I buy now, the less I'll have to lug home in the sleet and snow. I mix my own laundry concoction, and really like it. I use of a popular laundry detergent and of a non chlorine fabric whitener/brightener. Often these powders are lumpy when I first buy them, and even lumpier after being on the shelf for a while. I measure equal amounts of these two into a plastic bucket, stir for a second, and then funnel the lot into clean and dried coffee creamer containers. I keep these filled containers in the laundry room, and at the kitchen sink, where I wash my dish towels in scalding water. (Tip within a tip: I don't use fabric softener on my dish towels. It tends to leave a film on glassware). The lumps do not reform in these plastic containers. I can dispense a little through the pour spout or remove the lid to measure a cup or so. This idea may not be practical for large families, but for a small crew, it should work well. Also, I stock up on wild bird seed. I transfer the contents of a 10 lb. bag of seed into these containers. When refilling my several feeders, it's much easier dispensing from these containers, rather than a 10 lb. bag. With a home made inner seal of foil, the seed will stay fresh and bug free. Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A man walks into an insurance office and asks for a job. "We don't need anyone" they replied. "You can't afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone anytime anything." "We have two prospects that no one has been able to sell. If you can sell just one, you have a job." He was gone about two hours and returned and handed them two checks, one for $25,000.00 and another for $50,000.00. "How in the world did you do that" they asked. "I told you I'm the worlds best salesman, I can sell anyone anywhere anytime." "Did you get a urine sample?" they asked him. "What's that?" he asked. "Well, if you sell a policy over $20,000.00 the company requires a urine sample. Take these two bottles and go back and get urine samples." He was gone about 8 hours and they were fixing to close when in he walks in with two five gallon buckets, one in each hand. He sets the buckets down and reaches in his shirt pocket and produces two bottles of urine and sets them on the desk and says "Here is Mr.Brown's and this one is Mr.Smith's." "That's good" they said, "but what's in those two buckets?" "Well, I passed by the school house and they were having a state teachers convention, so I stopped and sold them a group policy!" ____________________________________________________ >From Friz We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the special was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99. "Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs." "Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her. "You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" my wife asked incredulously. "I'll take the special." "How do you want your eggs?" "Raw and in the shell," my wife replied. She took the eggs home. ____________________________________________________ | | Video Clips From The Coolest One |
____________________________________________________ | Today on November 10 1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence after the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The Marine Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. This day is observed as the birth date of the United States Marine Corps. 1801 The U.S. state of Tennessee outlawed the practice of dueling. 1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David Livingstone. Livingston was a missing Scottish missionary in central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting: "Dr. Livingstone, I presume?" 1879 Western Union and the National Bell Telephone Company reached a settlement over various telephone patents. 1917 41 suffragists were arrested in front of the White House. 1919 The American Legion held its first national convention, in Minneapolis, MN. 1928 Michinomiya Hirohito was enthroned as Emperor of Japan. 1951 Direct-dial, coast-to-coast telephone service began when Mayor M. Leslie Denning of Englewood, NJ, called his counterpart in Alameda, CA. 1954 The Iwo Jima Memorial was dedicated in Arlington, VA. 1957 102,368 people attended the San Francisco 49ers and Los Angeles Rams game. The crowd was the largest regular-season crowd in NFL history. 1969 "Sesame Street" made its debut on PBS. 1970 The Great Wall of China opened for tourism. 1975 The U.N. General Assembly approved a resolution that equated Zionism with racism. The resolution was repealed in December of 1991. 1975 The Edmund Fitzgerald, an ore-hauling ship, and its crew of 29 vanished during a storm in Lake Superior. 1976 The Utah Supreme Court gave approval for Gary Gilmore to be executed, according to his wishes. The convicted murderer was put to death the following January. 1980 CBS News anchor Dan Rather claimed he had been kidnapped in a cab. It turned out that Rather had refused to pay the cab fare. 1982 Soviet leader Leonid I. Brezhnev died of a heart attack at age 75. He was suceeded by Yuri V. Andropov. 1982 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial was opened to visitors. 1986 Camille Sontag and Marcel Coudari, two Frenchmen were released by the captors that held them in Lebanon. 1988 The U.S. Department of Energy announced that Texas would be the home of the atom-smashing super-collider. The project was cancelled by a vote of the U.S. Congress in Oct. 1993. 1990 Chandra Shekhar was sworn in as India's new prime minister. 1993 John Wayne Bobbitt was acquitted on the charge of marital sexual assault against his wife who sexually mutilated him. Lorena Bobbitt was later acquitted of malicious wounding of her husband. 1993 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Brady Bill, which called for a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases. 1994 U.S. officials announced that it planned to stop enforcing the arms embargo against the Bosnian government the following week. The U.N. Security Council was opposed to lifting the ban. 1994 Iraq recognized Kuwait's borders in the hope that the action would end trade sanctions. 1995 Nigeria's military rulers hanged playwright Ken Saro- Wiwa along with several other anti-government activists. 1995 In Katmandu, Nepal, searchers rescued 549 hikers after a massive avalanche struck the Himalayan foothills. The disaster left 24 tourists and 32 Nepalese dead. 1996 Dan Marino (Miami Dolphins) became the first quarterback in NFL history to pass for more than 50,000 yards. (Florida) 1997 WorldCom Inc. acquired MCI Communication Corporation. It was the largest merger in U.S. history valued at $37 billion. 1997 A jury in Virginia convicted Mir Aimal Kasi of the murder of two CIA employees in 1993. 1997 A judge in Cambridge, MA, reduced Louise Woodward's murder conviction to manslaughter and sentenced the English au pair to time served. She had served 279 days in the death of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. 1998 At the White House, "The Virtual Wall" website (www.thevirtualwall.org) was unveiled. The site allows visitors to experience The Wall through the Internet. 2001 The World Trade Organization approved China's membership. 2016 Do smiled. |
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