Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, January 24 No Gullible Warming at Niagara Falls! Niagara Falls frozen Today's Bonehead Award:  Florida man went to beat, pepper-sprayed his mother 'because she is a narcissist'  ______________________________________________________ Today, January 24 in 1980 The United States announced intentions to sell arms to China. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. --- Peter Ustinov Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. --- Franklin P. Jones ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ >From Lillemor KFC UPDATE ! Remember when Playboy magazine reportedly offered Sarah Palin $4,000,000 to pose in an upcoming issue? Then Michelle Obama was offered $50 by National Geographic? And when KFC offered a "Hillary" meal, consisting of two small breasts and two large thighs? Now KFC has a new offer, the "Nancy Pelosi Special," It consists of nothing but left wings and chicken sh**. Just keeping you up to date. _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ >From Ed My wife cannot ride in a car without telling whoever is driving what to do, when to do it, etc. She is, bar none, the worst back seat driver in the world. I have long thought this, though she would deny it. She claimed she seldom, if ever made comments about my driving. I, of course, claimed the opposite. Now I have proof. The other day we were headed for the mall and my daughter piped up, "Daddy, before you married Mommy, who told you how to drive?" ______________________________________________________   Hoggar National Park, Assekrem, Tamanrasset, Algeria. Photo by AMRI MOHAMMED _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Robert Eddington, 24, Volusia County, Florida  Florida man went to beat, pepper-sprayed his mother 'because she is a narcissist'  A 24-year-old Florida man told police that he beat his mom, pepper-sprayed her and tried to zip tie her hands because she was a narcissist. Robert Eddington's mother said that when she invited him over for lunch on Monday he showed up to her home in Volusia County with a knife, pepper spray and a zip tie. Police said Eddington then attacked his mother, leaving her seriously injured. During the attack, Eddington allegedly punched her in the head, slammed her head into a window and pepper- sprayed her in the face. Pictures of the victim show her eyes swollen shut, missing teeth and a head injury. Eddington told police it was because she needed to be roughed up enough for the police to be called. Eddington's mother said her son is bipolar and has not been taking his medicine. A judge on Tuesday ordered Eddington held without bond until further notice.  
 From: Brant Re: Camera to Microscope  Dear DearWebby, I want to connect a camera to a microscope. What do I need to know and watch out for ? Thanks Brant  Dear Brant First you have to realize that you got a HUGE amount of magnification between the tiny ocular (the lens closest to the eye) and the monitor. Don't go for an expensive microscope with a very high magnification number. Go for one with a wider field of view. The second thing to watch out for is lighting. Sure, electronic cameras go very far into the dark infrared, but picture quality deteriorates. Usualy, the more light you have, the better picture you get. Chose a microscope that allows both through-light and reflected light or a combination of the two. Generally, the more room you have to adapt and improvise with the lighting, the better. And finally, you need an adapter tube between the microscope and the camera. Hold the camera by hand and find the ideal distance. Cut some black plastic pipe to that length with a pipe cutter. Do NOT use a hacksaw! Dull the pipe inside and out with very fine sandpaper, then clean it thoroughly with a damp or wet rag. Clean the lenses perfectly clean with damp lenscloth. Do a VERY good job on that, because it is the last time you will ever have to do that. Assemble the microscope, tube and camera and hold them together with a rubber band. Test it. If everyting works OK, use some hotmelt glue or silicone to permanently attach the tube to the microscope and the camera. Have FUN! DearWebby  
  Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. 
 As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a female pedestrian. She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention. She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck's path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped. I rushed to the woman's side to see if she was all right. "I'm fine," she assured me, "but I hate to think what could have happened to me if that dog hadn't honked." 
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 Leroy goes to the revival and listens to the preacher. After awhile, the preacher asks anyone with needs to be prayed over to come forward to the front of the altar. Leroy gets in line and when it's his turn, the preacher asks, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?" Leroy replies, "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing." The preacher puts one finger in Leroy's ear and he places the other hand on top of Leroy's head and prays and prays and prays. After a few minutes, the preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks, "Leroy, how is your hearing now?" "Leroy says, "I don't know, Reverend. It's not until next Wednesday." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Programmable Thermostat  Program your thermostat to keep your home to a lower or higher (for air conditioning) temperature when you are not home or sleeping. If your home doesn't have a thermostat with these capabilities, buy one for less than $50 at your local hardware store and they are relatively easy to install.  Thriftyfun.com   ____________________________________________________   
 
 
Lovely murals. 
 ___________________________________________________ A Priest, a Minister and a Rabbi from one city were taking a car ride to a conference on world religions. On the highway they were in an accident. First the Priest steps out, makes the sign of the cross and says, "Oh, God, thank you for letting us survive." Then the Minister crosses himself and says, "Thank you dear Lord for protecting us." Finally the Rabbi steps out and likewise makes the sign of the cross. The Priest and Minister look at each other. Baffled, the Minister says, "We thought you didn't believe in that." To which the Rabbi responds, "Ach no, I was just checking to make sure I have everything -- spectacles, testicles, wallet, and watch!" ___________________________________________________ The insurance agent was questioning the cowboy who had applied for a policy. "Ever have an accident?" he inquired. "Nope," was the answer. "Not even one?" asked the agent incredulously. "Nope," the cowboy insisted. "Rattler bit me once, though." "And don't you call that an accident?" exclaimed the amazed agent. "Nope; the danged varmint done it a-purpose." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 The blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields by a kind neighbor. However kindly the neighbor might have been, he was undoubtedly a coward. When a bull charged towards them one day, he abandoned the blind man. The bull, puzzled by a lack of fear, nudged the farmer in the back. He turned very quickly, caught the bull by the horns and threw it to the ground with a bump that left it breathless. "Aidan," said the neighbor, "I never knew you were so strong." "Faith, and if I could have got that fella off the handlebars of the bicycle I'd have thrashed him properly." ___________________________________________________  
 Today January 24 in 1848 James W. Marshall discovered a gold nugget at Sutter's Mill in northern California. The discovery led to the gold rush of '49. 1899 Humphrey O'Sullivan patented the rubber heel. 1908 In England, the first Boy Scout troop was organized by Robert Baden-Powell. 1916 Conscription was introduced in Britain. 1922 Christian K. Nelson patented the Eskimo Pie. 1924 The Russian city of St. Petersburg was renamed Leningrad. The name has since been changed back to St. Petersburg. 1930 Primo Carnera made his American boxing debut by knocking out Big Boy Patterson in one minute, ten seconds of the opening round. 1935 Krueger Brewing Company placed the first canned beer on sale in Richmond, VA. 1943 U.S. President Roosevelt and British Prime Minister Churchill concluded a wartime conference in Casablanca, Morocco. 1952 Vincent Massey was the first Canadian to be appointed governor-general of Canada. 1955 The rules committee of major league baseball announced a plan to strictly enforce the rule that required a pitcher to release the ball within 20 seconds after taking his position on the mound. 1972 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws that denied welfare benefits to people who had resided in a state for less than a year. 1978 A nuclear-powered Soviet satellite plunged through Earth's atmosphere and disintegrated. The radioactive debris was scattered over parts of Canada's Northwest Territory. 1980 The United States announced intentions to sell arms to China. 1985 Penny Harrington became the first woman police chief of a major city. She assumed the duties as head of the Portland, Oregon, force of 940 officers and staff. 1986 The Voyager 2 space probe flew past Uranus. The probe came within 50,679 miles of the seventh planet of the solar system. 1987 In Lebanon, gunmen kidnapped educators Alann Steen, Jesse Turner, Robert Polhill and Mitheleshwar Singh. They were all later released. 1989 Ted Bundy, the confessed serial killer, was put to death in Florida's electric chair for the 1978 kidnap-murder of 12-year- old Kimberly Leach. 1990 Japan launched the first probe to be sent to the Moon since 1976. A small satellite was placed in lunar orbit. 1995 The prosecution gave its opening statement at the O.J. Simpson murder trial. 1996 Polish Premier Jozef Oleksy resigned due to allegations that he had spied for Moscow. 2000 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a Missouri law that limited the contributions that individuals could donate to a candidate during a single election. 2001 In Colorado Springs, CO, Patrick Murphy Jr. and Donald Newbury were taken into custody after a 5-minute phone interview was granted with a TV station. They were the remaining fugitives of the "Texas 7." 2002 The U.S. Congress began a hearing on the collapse of Enron Corp. 2002 John Walker Lindh appeared in court for the first time concerning the charges that he conspired to kill Americans abroad and aided terrorist groups. Lindh had been taken into custody by U.S. Marines in Afghanistan. 2003 The U.S. Department of Homeland Security began operations under Tom Ridge. 2019 Do smiled. 
 

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