Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, February 25 Thank you, Carol !! Wednesday I go to town to get my bread. It warmed up to seasonal values. Usually that means that women shed their bulky parkas and start dressing nicely again. This year I noticed that most men lost their beer bellies, and I too will have to dig out pants from years, when I had a smaller circumference, but women seem to have gained Covid bellies! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Man admitted Mutilating His Wife's Lover ___________________________________________________ Today, February 25 in 1913 The 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. It authorized a Marxist style graduated income tax, that is higher for those, who work hard. ____________________________________________________ Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. --- Ernest Hemingway (1899 - 1961) ____________________________________________________ According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated Wash. Biol. Surv. until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper: "Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible." ____________________________________________________ Why do our kids have to take the Iowa Test for Basic Skills? Why can't we have a Georgia Test of Basic Skills with questions like, "Bubba's got three cars and he done traded for two more. How many cement blocks is Bubba gonna need?" ____________________________________________________ Living Stone ___________________________________________________ >from Stratus Two men from San Francisco were standing on a corner next to an old stray dog. All of a sudden, the dog started licking his balls. One man looked down and said, "Boy, I sure wish I could do that." The other San Francisco man leaned around and said, "Go ahead, he looks like he's friendly ..." __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Alex Bonilla, 51, Bell, Florida, USA Man admitted Mutilating His Wife's Lover The Florida Man charged with mutilating his wifes bound lover is set to plead guilty to the scissor attack, though he claims to have blacked out during the incident and cannot recall any details of the bloody offense, which left the victim with a severed penis. Alex Bonilla, 51, is scheduled to plead guilty Thursday to multiple felony charges in connection with the horrifying July 2019 assault inside the victims mobile home in Bell, a town 40 miles west of Gainesville. Bonilla, who has been jailed since his arrest, lived across the street from the victim, who is married with two young daughters. Bonilla, a father of five who emigrated from El Salvador in 1990, resided with his 35-year-old second wife and the couples three young children. Prosecutors will ask a Circuit Court judge to sentence Bonilla to 30 years in prison, according to a State Attorneys Office spokesperson. Bonilla has been charged with kidnapping, burglary, aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. A pre-sentence report filed last month by the Florida Department of Corrections provides a harrowing account of Bonillas attack, which came two months after he caught his wife having sex with the victim. In an interview with a probation officer, Bonilla said that he met with the victim in the mans home and told him, You need to stay away from my wife and leave her alone. Bonilla claimed that a scuffle ensued, with the victim tackling him. The defendant stated he then blacked out and doesnt remember anything from that point until his arrest later that day at the dairy where he had worked for nearly 20 years. The victim, however, provided a gruesome, detailed recollection of the premeditated attack that began when Bonilla showed up at his home (seen below) with a 9mm handgun tucked under his arm. I came here to fix something, Bonilla said, according to the victim. After accompanying the victim into a bedroom, Bonilla first threatened to strike the man with a metal pipe he removed from his pants. Bonilla then tied the victims hands behind his back, saying, You are not going to die, but you are going to have something to remember this for your whole life. Bonilla then pulled down the mans shorts, saying, This is normal, you will not die today. After putting on a pair of gloves, Bonilla tied a rubber band at the base of the victims penis several times to cut off the circulation. He then took out a pair of scissors and said, This is for all the women you have been having relationships with. As blood spurted everywhere, Bonilla cut off three-quarters of the victims penis. Before departing with the severed organ, Bonilla warned the victim, Dont act this way, this is normal. And if you try to call the police, I will be out in two months and I will come back and finish this. The victim said that when Bonilla opened the bedroom door to leave, he saw that his oldest daughter was laying on the ground by the bottom of the door watching through the crack between the floor and the bottom of the door. The victim, whose penis was not recovered, told the probation officer that, urinating and the ability to have sex with his wife has been messed up for the rest of his life. He added that doctors have told him he will never have any sensation in his penis again. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Fran Re: Mice Dear Webby, my problem is mice. Not one mouse. MICE. I'm supposed to be a receptionist, but everybody here figures I have nothing better to do than clean and/or fix their mice. Especially in the warehouse the mice don't seem to last more than a couple of weeks and next time a 10 mouse day coincides with full moon and a bad hair day, somebody around here will be wearing a mouse. I know you work long hours and have for many years. What type of mouse do you recommend and how long do those last? Thanks, Fran Dear Fran My recommendation is the wireless Microsoft Intellimouse Explorer. Just like the version with the cable, the wireless version lasts one year plus one week. (+/- a day or two). They don't need a mouse pad and work just fine on anything except a mirror, because instead of a ball they use a laser. They also have a couple of thumb buttons that can be used for copy and paste. That speeds things up considerably and is quite addictive. The Microsoft Intellimouse Explorer is shaped for smaller hands and is initially a bit awkward for somebody with big hands like me, but I rather have a reliable and efficient mouse than a comfortable one. I have been quite happy with them since 1998 and have them on every machine here at Webby. Logitech makes a similar laser mouse, that works very well on W7 machines, but is sabotaged by W10. It instantly works the way it is supposed to when moved to a W7 machine. On W10, if you use the Copy /Paste buttons, then use a Microsoft mouse. Have FUN! DearWebby A woman went to her new doctor for a checkup. He turned out to be absolutely gorgeous! He told her he was going to put his hand on her back and he wanted her to say "Eighty-eight." "Eighty-eight," she purred. "Good. Now I'm going to put my hand on your throat and I want you to again say 'Eighty-eight.'" "Eighhty...eighhhhtttt." "Fine. Now I'm going to put my hand on your chest and I want you once more to say 'Eighty-eight." "One, ahhhh two, ahhhh three, ahhhh four, ahhhh five..." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Children have started growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and start refusing to tell you where they are going. ____________________________________________ In America the late night news used to broadcast this message: "It's 11 o'clock do you know where your children are? In England they say "Its 11 o'clock do you know where your wife is?" In France they say "It's 11 o'clock do you know where your husband is?" In Poland they say: "Its 11 o'clock do you know where you are?" In Bidetonia they say: "Its 11 o'clock and we know where you are." ____________________________________________ You know right away the band "Barenaked Ladies" is from Canada because if they were from Georgia, they would be called "Buttneckid Wimin". (Btw., they are a fully dressed, all male band) ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today February 25 in 1570 England's Queen Elizabeth I was excommunicated by Pope Pius V. 1751 Edward Willet displayed the first trained monkey act in the U.S. 1836 Samuel Colt received U.S. Patent No. 138 (later 9430X) for a "revolving-cylinder pistol." It was his first patent. 1837 Thomas Davenport patented the first commercial electrical motor. There was no practical electical distribution system available and Davenport went bankrupt. 1901 The United States Steel Corp. was incorporated by J.P. Morgan. 1913 The 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. It authorized a Marxist style graduated income tax, that is higher for those, who work hard. 1919 The state of Oregon became the first state to place a tax on gasoline. The tax was 1 cent per gallon. 1930 The bank check photographing device was patented. 1933 The aircraft carrier Ranger was launched. It was the first ship in the U.S. Navy to be designed and built from the keel up as an aircraft carrier. 1940 The New York Rangers and the Montreal Canadiens played in the first hockey game to be televised in the U.S. The game was aired on W2WBS in New York with one camera in a fixed position. The Rangers beat the Canadiens 6-2. 1948 Communists seized power in Czechoslovakia. 1956 Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev criticized the late Josef Stalin in a speech before a Communist Party congress in Moscow. 1972 Germany gave a $5 million ransom to Arab terrorists who had hijacked a jumbo jet. 1986 Filippino President Ferdinand E. Marcos fled the Philippines after 20 years of rule after a tainted election. 1999 William King was sentenced to death for the racial murder of James Byrd Jr in Jasper, TX. Two other men charged were later convicted for their involvement. 1999 In Moscow, China's Prime Minister Zhu Rongji and Russia's President Boris Yeltsin discussed trade and other issues. 2005 Dennis Rader was arrested for the BTK serial killings in Wichita, KS. He later pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 10 life prison terms. 2020 In Seattle, WA, Amazon opened its first Amazon Go Grocery store. 2021 Do smiled. |
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