Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, January 13 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award 2 teens arrested for deadly shooting in southeast Wichita ___________________________________________________ Today, January 13 in 1942 Henry Ford patented the plastic automobile referred to as the "Soybean Car." The car was 30% lighter than the average car and the iron workers got the media to trash it. _____________________________________________________ 'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds. --- Malaclypse the Younger Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful. --- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) _____________________________________________________ Two intrepid explorers meet in the heart of the Brazilian jungle. Says one, "I'm here to commune with nature in the raw, to contemplate the eternal verities and to widen my horizons. And you, sir?" The second explorer sighs deeply. "I came because my young daughter has begun violin lessons." _____________________________________________________ A psychiatrist has been treating a woman's husband, and one day he tells her, "I have good news. Your husband is cured. He will no longer go around thinking he's Napoleon. His original personality has returned, and he is now himself again." "What?" she says angrily. "Before, my husband was someone important. Now I'm going to be the wife of a nobody!" _____________________________________________________ Point Abino, Lake Erie, Ontario (near Crystal Beach) Taera Bliss ___________________________________________________ A man goes to a doctor for a physical checkup. The nurse starts with certain basic items. "How much do you weigh?" she asks. "One-seventy." he says. The nurse puts him on the scale It turns out that his weight is 183. The nurse asks, "Your height?" "Five-eleven." he says. The nurse checks and sees that he's only 5' 8 1/2". She then takes his blood pressure, and it's very high. The man explains, "Of course it's high. When I came in here, I was tall and wiry. Then, after one look at you, I became short and fat!" __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Noah Martin, 18, Wichita, Kansas, USA 2 teens arrested for deadly shooting in southeast Wichita Wichita police say they've arrested two suspects in the shooting death of a 22-year-old man in the first moments of the new year. WPD spokesperson Charley Davidson said 18-year-old Noah Martin and a 16-year-old boy were arrested for second-degree murder. Martin also faces one count of felon in possession of a firearm. Officers responded at around 12:05 a.m. Friday to a shooting in the 1200 block of South Ida. A caller told dispatch that they heard gunshots and a person was lying on the sidewalk. Police arrived on scene to find Gabriel Campos-Torres who had been shot. He died at the scene. Davidson said an additional scene was located at a home in the 1200 block of South Laura, where the victim had been shot. Investigators learned of Martin and the juvenile's involvement and arrested them at the home. Firearms were also found inside the home. The investigation is ongoing. Anyone with information is asked to call WPD detectives at 316-268-4407, the See Something Say Something hotline at 316-519-2282, or Crime Stoppers at 316- 267-2111. This case was the first of two deadly shooting on the morning of New Year's Day. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Rick Re: McAfee uninstaller Dear Webby Lately several of my friends have bought new computers with preinstalled McAfee. It won't uninstall. I finally found this link to an unistaller at McAfee's site that did the trick. http://download.mcafee.com/products/licensed/ cust_support_patches/MCPR.exe Download and run it if all else fails. Rick Dear Rick Thanks for that valuable information! I had not realized that some pre-installs miss the UN-install part. Have FUN! DearWebby A man is taking an English class where the instructor is discussing the Greek origins of many English words. "Tell me," he says to the class, "what do the words 'monogamy' and 'monotony' have in common?" From the back of the room comes a gravelly voice: "They're synonyms." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes: "A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?" After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Morris raised his hand. The teacher called on Little Morris for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Morris answered, "A lawyer!" ____________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for ths story: The parents in our cycling group were discussing the subject of teenagers and their appetites. Most agreed that teenagers would eat anything, anywhere and at any time. Some were concerned that such appetites always made it hard to judge when you should feed them because they were always grazing. A veteran parent of six children told us of his method for judging the true hunger of teenagers. "I would hold up a piece of cold, cooked broccoli, and if they were jumping and snapping at it, I figured they were hungry enough to be fed." ____________________________________________ Two boys were arguing when the priester entered the room. The priester says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to the person who tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the priester, "When I was your age, I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the priester. ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today Jan 13 in 1128 - Pope Honorius II granted a papal sanction to the military order known as the Knights Templar. He declared it to be an army of God. 1854 Anthony Faas of Philadelphia, PA, was granted the first U.S. patent for the accordion. He made improvements to the keyboard and enhanced the sound. 1898 Emile Zola's "J'accuse" was published in Paris. 1900 In Austria-Hungary, Emperor Franz Joseph decreed that German would be the language of the imperial army to combat Czech nationalism. 1906 Hugh Gernsback, of the Electro Importing Company, advertised radio receivers for sale for the price of just $7.50 in "Scientific American" magazine. 1928 Ernst F. W. Alexanderson gave the first public demonstration of television. 1942 Henry Ford patented the plastic automobile referred to as the "Soybean Car." The car was 30% lighter than the average car and the steel workers got the media to trash it. 1966 Robert C. Weaver became the first black Cabinet member when he was appointed Secretary of Housing and Urban Development by U.S. President Johnson. 1984 Wayne Gretzky extended his NHL consecutive scoring streak to 45 games. 1990 L. Douglas Wilder of Virginia, the nation's first elected black governor, took the oath of office in Richmond. 1992 Japan apologized for forcing tens of thousands of Korean women to serve as sex slaves for Japanese soldiers during World War II. 1998 ABC and ESPN negotiated to keep "Monday Night Football" for $1.15 billion a season. 2002 Japan and Singapore signed a free trade pact that would remove tariffs on almost all goods traded between the two countries. 2002 U.S. President George W. Bush fainted after choking on a pretzel. 2009 Ethiopian military forces began pulling out of Somalia, where they had tried to maintain order for nearly two years. 2021 Do smiled. |
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