Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, May 23 My Saskatoon berry bushes are in full bloom. Bees love it! If the hail does not get them, I should have a great harvest again. This afternoon I will dig out the freezer and make sure there are no berry cups hiding on the bottom. My Saskatoon nerry bushes Click through for the large picture Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Largo couple stole motorized shopping cart from Walmart, drove to bar. Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, May 23 in 1934 In Bienville Parish, LA, Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were ambushed and killed by Texas Rangers. The bank robbers were riding in a stolen Ford Deluxe. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. --- Albert Camus (1913 - 1960) "The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one." --- Elbert Hubbard ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ At the end of my factory shift, I was asked to purchase some supplies. The machines' conveyor belts needed talcum powder to prevent them from sticking, and we had run out of aspirin for workers with noise-induced tension headaches. I drove to the nearest store and loaded a shopping cart with four cases of baby powder and several boxes of aspirin. As the man behind me in the checkout line peered at my purchases, he laughed and exclaimed, "Must be one heck of a kid!" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything. He was served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it up and smirked: "Is this pig?" Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: "Which end of the fork are you referring to?" _______________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jeffrey Robert Sabiel, 50, and Santa Marie Walters, 32, Largo, Florida Largo couple stole motorized shopping cart from Walmart, drove to bar A joyride in a motorized shopping cart landed a Largo couple behind bars on Thursday. Security cameras were rolling when Jeffrey Robert Sabiel, 50, and Santa Marie Walters, 32, stole a motorized shopping cart from a Walmart located on Missouri Ave. in Largo, according to an affidavit. The couple was seen driving off the property and heading west on Rosery Road. News Channel 8 has not obtained the video in question. Shortly after the theft was reported, the cart was spotted outside Jimmy's Sports Bar in Largo and an officer found the couple at the bar. After denying the theft, the couple admitted to taking the cart and was arrested on charges of grand theft. They were both booked into the Pinellas County Jail. Tech Support Pits From: Connie R Re: Mammogram Site Webby, is it possible to add this web site address to your humor newsletter. I feed the dogs each day, and I think being able to click onto this web url to give a free mammogram to an underpriviledged woman would be another good thing to do. Connie R The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram" for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors /advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising. Here's the web site! http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/ Connie Dear Connie Please get a normal, healthy male of ANY age to read the Humor Letter, and watch where he clicks. I am happy to say that many female subscribers ALSO let their mouse pounce onto the breast cancer site ad. Personally, I doubt very much that any other newsletter this side of Venus has a more effective ad for the breast cancer site, or has run ads for it for as many years as I have. (18) So, don't be shy! Click on the cuties in the right margin! It does not cost you anything. I am providing space for them for free. Have FUN DearWebby A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours." The banker said, "Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him!" Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A husband and wife were involved in a petty argument, both of them unwilling to admit they might be in error. "I'll admit I'm wrong," the wife told her husband in a con- ciliatory attempt, "if you'll admit I'm right." He agreed and, like a gentleman, insisted she go first. "I'm wrong," she said. With a twinkle in his eye, he responded, "You're right!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Delighted by the gift she had received, the lady spoke warmly to the boy, "At church tomorrow, I'll thank your mother for this lovely pie." "If you don't mind, Ma'am," the boy suggested nervously, "would you thank her for two pies?" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Photo Album For Recipes Recipes that you clip from magazines and newspapers can be placed in an inexpensive photo album. If you prepare a recipe that your family doesn't enjoy, lift the plastic page and discard. Now you have room for another! By Maureen Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ When my sugar daddy dies," confided Jeni to Debi, "I inherit the lot... it's in his last will and testicles." "You mean testament," chuckled Debi. "No, testicles..." said Jeni, "I've got him by the balls." | The Forgotten Ruins of Mrauk U |
___________________________________________________ A man started to snore in his seat at the church. "Please stop your snoring," the usher pleaded. "You are disturbing the others..." "Look, buddy," the man said angrily, "This is my seat and I'll do whatever I want!" "Yes, sir," replied the usher. "But please be considerate... you are keeping everybody else awake!" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me. "I'll have him trained in no time." I watched for several days as my husband patiently "trained" our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, my husband deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson. The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa. ____________________________________________________ | Today, May 23 in 1430 Joan of Arc was captured by Burgundians. She was then sold to the English. 1533 Henry VIII's marriage to Catherine of Aragon was declared null and void. 1618 The Thirty Years War began when three opponents of the Reformation were thrown through a window. 1701 In London, Captain William Kidd was hanged after being convicted of murder and piracy. 1785 Benjamin Franklin wrote in a letter that he had invented bifocals. 1827 The first nursery school in the U.S. was established in New York City. 1873 Canada's North West Mounted Police force was established. The organization's name was changed to Royal Canadian Mounted Police in 1920. 1879 The first U.S. veterinary school was established by Iowa State University. 1900 Civil War hero Sgt. William H. Carney became the first African American to receive the Medal of Honor, 37 years after the Battle of Fort Wagner. 1901 American forces captured Filipino rebel leader Emilio Aguinaldo. 1908 Part of the Great White Fleet arrived in Puget Sound, WA. 1915 During World War I, Italy switched and joined the Allies as they appeared to be winning. 1926 The French captured the Moroccan Rif capital. 1934 In Bienville Parish, LA, Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were ambushed and killed by Texas Rangers. The bank robbers were riding in a stolen Ford Deluxe. 1938 "LIFE" magazine's cover pictured Errol Flynn as a glamour boy. 1945 In Luneburg Germany, Heinrich Himmler, the head of the Nazi Gestapo, committed suicide while imprisoned by the Allied forces. 1949 The Republic of West Germany was established. 1960 Israel announced the capture of Nazi Adolf Eichmann in Argentina. 1981 In Barcelona, Spain, gunmen seized control of the Central Bank and took 200 hostages. 1985 Thomas Patrick Cavanagh was sentenced to life in prison for trying to sell Stealth bomber secrets to the Soviet Union. 1995 The Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City was demolished. 1998 British Protestants and Irish Catholics of Northern Ireland approved a peace accord. 1999 In Kansas City, MO, Owen Hart (Blue Blazer) died when he fell 90 feet while being lowered into a WWF wrestling ring. He was 33 years old. 1999 Gerry Bloch, at age 81, became the oldest climber to scale El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. He broke his own record that he set in 1986 when he was 68 years old. 2013 Google acquired Makani Power for use for its Project Wing. 2018 Do smiled. |
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