Good Morning, Do, Today is Saturday, December 24 For believers in Walmartism and Shoppianity, today is all the shopping time you got left! Rudolphians, you have ONE day of saving money till Boxing Day! Christians, tomorrow is Christmas Day! Merry Christmas! Jews, TODAY Hanukkah is. Blessed Hanukkah! The Matzo balls you pass! >From Hermon: Wanted to send something to show my appreciation for the humor and ALL the tips.... Sorry about Mr. Gates program failure. I think everyone who missed the letter should send in a donation, and you can quote me on that, PLEASE. Hermon in Kentucky Thanks Hermon!!! My Hero! Thank you, Lillemor!!! Thank you, Joseph!! Have FUN! DearWebby Todays Bonehead Award: Arkansas man arrested after he shot and murdered a 3 year old in his gramma's car. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 24 in 1818 Franz Gruber of Oberndorf, Austria composed the music for "Silent Night" to words written by Josef Mohr. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ First there is a time when we believe everything, then for a little while we believe with discrimination, then we believe nothing whatever, and then we believe everything again - and, moreover, give reasons why we believe. --- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Chinese are getting fed up with high Beam offenders: ______________________________________________________ There was a guy walking in the woods one night. As he walked further he fell off the side of a cliff and just as he fell, he reached and grab a tree branch. He thought for sure he was going to die, but he remember learning as a child: when you're in trouble call on God. So he called up to Heaven, "Lord are you up there?" A few seconds go by and not a word from heaven. The man calls again, "Lord are you up there?" And again the lord did not response. This time the man made a promise to God, "if you are there I will serve you if you help me." The Lord responded and said, "my son do you trust me?" "Yes," replied the man. The Lord ask him again, "my son do you trust me"? "Yes I do", replied the man. God said, "let the branch go." A few seconds of silence go by, and the man yelled, "is there anybody else up there?" ______________________________________________________ A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court," said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for ten years!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gary Holmes, 33, Little Rock, Arkansas. Arkansas man arrested after he shot and murdered a 3 year old in his gramma's car. Police say they've captured the man accused of shooting and killing a 3-year-old boy during an apparent road rage case in Little Rock, Arkansas. Gary Holmes, 33, faces capital murder and terroristic act charges in connection with the shooting, Pulaski County Sheriff's Office spokesman Lt. Cody Burk said. Gary Holmes is accused of killing 3-year-old Acen King. The arrest comes almost a week after Acen King was gunned down in the back seat of his grandmother's car. The shooting sparked a community outcry, and police had offered a $40,000 reward for information leading to an arrest and conviction in the case. The boy's grandmother told police the incident began when a man in a car behind her at a stop sign started honking his horn, apparently upset she wasn't moving quickly enough. The grandmother honked her horn, too. Then, police said, the man got out of his black Chevrolet Impala and fired into her car. "One shot was fired, and it went through the vehicle and hit the child," said Lt. Steven McClanahan, Little Rock police spokesman. Not realizing that the boy had been hit, the woman drove to a J.C. Penney about nine miles away. When she went to get him out of the car, she saw that her grandson was wounded, according to a police incident report. "She didn't know he was shot," a bystander told the 911 operator after speaking with the grandmother. One of the callers, describing what happened, to the 911 operator, said the grandmother feverishly performed CPR after the child sustained a neck wound. The boy was transferred to the Arkansas Children's Hospital, where he was pronounced dead. A 1-year-old child was also in the car at the time of the shooting, according to the police report. Police said they believe the grandmother and the slain boy had no relationship with the gunman. Since the killer had gotten out of his car to shoot the baby, he will face first degree murder chrges. BLM (Black Lies & Murder) ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Marlene Re: Safeguard the computer Dear Webby, I had looked at the newsletter everyday, even this morning but no updates. after seeing this post, I went back to the newsletter and it was there ! Sorry you had a problem but worried because if they can get you what can I do to prevent. turned off auto updates, maybe that will help. I go into withdrawals without you every day. Marlene Dear Marlene Marlene, use a good back-up program, NOT THE ONE FROM MICROSLOP! I found out today that you can get a 64 GB camera chip at Staples for under $20. Back up onto that every night. Only then are you safe. You probably don`t have more than 64 GB worth of irreplaceable stuff. No point backing up programs, since you would have to download and do a fresh install anyway. Just the data, Ma'am! Have FUN! DearWebby If a man is in the forest, all alone, and there isn't a woman around for ten miles, is he still wrong? No, not if he keeps his mouth shut. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Bowl Scraper When Making Scrambled Egg By gem [155 Posts, 265 Comments] Tired of wasting good eggs to the edges of your frying pan and having a real mess to clean up? Let's face it, scrambled eggs seem to leave a film around the outer edge every time you cook them and I won't go into the detail of having them swim around in the dish water. Well here is how I dealt with the problem and the clean up is a snap. Instead of using a spatula, that doesn't take the eggs off the sides of the pan, I use a rubber bowl scraper. If your heat isn't super high, this will solve all your problems. You can buy usually 3 bowl scrapers in a pack for about a dollar almost anywhere. I have found this technique doesn't hurt the scraper and you will have two added benefits. One is that you use all the egg because the scraper is shaped to follow the edges of the pan. Secondly your cleanup is a snap. So next time you scramble eggs try this little technique and find out how very simple and easy it is. ____________________________________________________ A young man wanted to get his beautiful wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day she goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband. "Hi hun," he says, "how do you like your new phone?" She replies, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand though." "What's that, baby?" asks the husband. "How did you know I was at Walmart?" ____________________________________________________ | | Coin stacking. Someone has a lot of time on his hands. |
Customer at a counter of a lawn ornament shop: "Give me four of those elves, two of the big reindeer, two of the small reindeer, and one of those bent-over Mrs Santa with the hilarious bloomers." The cashier replied: "That'll be eight dollars for the elves, ten dollars for thebig reindeer, six dollars for the small reindeer, and an apology to my wife!" Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today on December 24 1814 The War of 1812 between the U.S. and Britain was ended with the signing of the Treaty of Ghent in Belgium. 1818 Franz Gruber of Oberndorf, Austria composed the music for "Silent Night" to words written by Josef Mohr. 1828 William Burke who, with his partner William Hare, dug up the dead and murdered to sell the corpses for dissection, went on trial in Edinburgh. 1851 A fire devastated the Library of Congress in Washington, DC, destroying about 35,000 volumes. 1865 Several veterans of the Confederate Army formed a private social club in Pulaski, TN, called the Ku Klux Klan. 1906 Reginald A. Fessenden became the first person to broadcast a music program over radio, from Brant Rock, MA. 1914 In World War I, the first air raid on Britain was made when a German airplane dropped a bomb on the grounds of a rectory in Dover. 1928 The first broadcast of "The Voice of Firestone" was heard. 1943 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt appointed Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower supreme commander of Allied forces as part of Operation Overlord. 1944 A German submarine torpedoed the Belgian transport ship S.S. Leopoldville with 2,235 soldiers aboard. About 800 American soldiers died. The soldiers were crossing the English Channel to be reinforcements at the battle that became known as the Battle of the Bulge. 1948 The first completely solar-heated house became occupied in Dover, MA. 1951 Libya achieved independence as the United Kingdom of Libya, under King Idris. 1965 A meteorite landed on Leicestershire. It weighed about 100lbs. 1966 Luna 13 landed on the moon. 1968 Three astronauts, James A. Lovell, William Anders and Frank Borman, reached the moon. They orbited the moon 10 times before coming back to Earth. Seven months later man first landed on the moon. 1979 Soviet troops invaded Afghanistan in support of the country's Marxist government. 1985 Fidel Castro, the Cuban president, announced that he was a non-smoker. 1989 Ousted Panamanian ruler Manuel Noriega took refuge at the Vatican's diplomatic mission in Panama City. 1990 Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were married. 1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush pardoned former Defense Secretary Caspar Weinberger and five others in the Iran- Contra scandal. 1997 Ilich Ramirez Sanchez, known as "Carlos the Jackal," was sentenced by a French court to life in prison for the 1975 murders of two French investigators and a Lebanese national. 1998 At Disneyland in Anaheim, CA, a tourist was hit by a piece of flying metal while waiting to board a ride. The man's wife and a Disneyland employee were also injured. Luan Phi Dawson died December 26th from his injuries. 1999 Ivory Coast President Henri Konan Bdi was overthrown in a coup. 1999 An Indian Airlines plane was seized during a flight from Katmandu, Nepal, to New Delhi. In Afghanistan, the 150 hostages were freed on December 31 after India released three Kashmir militants from prison. 2000 36 minutes after the end of a game, both the New England Patriots and the Miami Dolphins were called back to the playing field. The teams had to play the final 3 seconds of the game which the Dolphins had won 27-24. The end result did not change. 2000 The "Texas 7," seven convicts that had escaped a Texas prison, robbed a sports store in Irving, TX. The suspects killed Officer Aubrey Hawkins, stole $70,000, 25 weapons and clothing. The men had escaped on December 13. 2016 Do smiled. |
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