Googlad0r Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, November 10 ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Man Took Sex Toy For A Test Drive _____________________________________________________ Today, November 10 in 1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence after the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The Marine Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. This day is observed as the birth date of the United States Marine Corps. _____________________________________________________ To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost. --- Gustave Flaubert (1821 - 1880) _____________________________________________________ Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply, "It could have been worse." To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it. On the golf course one day, one of them said, "Frank, did you hear about Tom? He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the gun on himself!" "That's awful," said Frank, "But it could have been worse." "How in the hell," asked his bewildered friend, "Could it have been worse?" "Well," replied Frank, "If it happened the night before, I'd be dead now!" _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Redneck Pilot Your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as check points. You think sectional charts should show trailer parks. Your toothpick keeps poking your mike. You've thought about just taxiing around the airport drinking beer. You use a Purina feed sack for a wind sock. You constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut. You think GPS stands for Going Perfectly Straight. You refer to flying in formation as "We got us a convoy". You have an orange airplane with a Union Jack on the side. You've got a gun rack hanging on the passenger window. You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling together. Your preflight includes removing all the clover, grass, and wheat from the landing gear. You siphon gas out of your tractor to put in your airplane. You've never really actually landed at an airport, although you've been flying for years. There are parts on your airplane labeled "John Deere". There's exhaust residue on the right side of your aircraft and tobacco stains on the left. You have to buzz the strip to chase off all the sheep. You've landed on the main street of your town for a cup of coffee. You fly to family reunions to meet girls. You've won the "Bob Wire" award at a spot landing contest. You have fuzzy dice hanging from the magnetic compass. There are grass stains on your propeller tips. The spittoon is wedged between the rudder pedals Just before impact, you're heard saying "Hey, y'all, hold mah beer and watch this!" __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gilbert Cordero, 23, Oklahoma, USA Man Took Sex Toy For A Test Drive An Oklahoma man is facing an indecency charge after allegedly taking a sex toy for a test drive inside an adult novelty store, according to court records. Gilbert Cordero, 23, was recently arrested in connection with a bizarre incident last year at an Oklahoma City business. Cordero, free on $500 bail, has pleaded not guilty to a misdemeanor charge of outraging public indecency. Cordero, seen above, is next scheduled for a December 3 hearing in District Court. According to a probable cause affidavit, Cordero went into a sex toy shop and tried a piece of merchandise which was out on display. Specifically, the business was Carlies and the item in question was an Auto Blow device. Cops charge that after Cordero walked up to a merchandise shelf, he licked his fingers on one hand and then used those digits to get his penis wet. Cordero, whose actions were recorded by a store surveillance camera, then also licks his fingers on his other hand and appears to get the entrance area of the Auto Blow wet. As a 28-year-old female employee watched on a security monitor, Cordero placed his penis into the sex toy and began thrusting his hips into the Autoblow. He eventually returned the device to a shelf and walked away after the worker hit an alarm they have inside the store. The employee told police that she recognized Cordero as he has previously put in job applications at this establishment. A criminal information filed against Cordero accuses him of committing an act injurious to public morals by making movements consistent with masturbation while utilizing a sex toy device on display for sale in a store open to the public. The Autoblows creators describe the electric self- gratification product as an affordable tried and trusted basic blowjob machine. The Autoblow models are available on the manufacturers web site, where Fap Lube and other accessories can be purchased. The device is reportedly easy to clean and relies on silicone interchangeable sleeves. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Daniella RE: Make icons stay put Dear Webby, I KNOW you have told us a dozen times already, but I got Oldtimers disease worse than Joe Who. How do I make icons stay where I have put thme, without Windoze moving them aound? Thanks Daniella Dear Daniella Right-click on the desktop VIEW make sure auto-arrange is NOT checkmarked. make sure align icons to grid is NOT checkmarked Then go into SORT BY and make sure NOTHING is checkmarked. That is all there is to it. Hidden right under your pretty nose. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ >From Millie After I recovered from surgery, my family suggested that I write thank-you notes to everyone who sent gifts and cards. I agreed that it was a nice idea, and I asked my daughter to buy several books of 'Love' stamps at the post office. Upon returning, my daughter said, "I asked for books of Love stamps, but the clerk told me they were out of books. And all he could give me was 'Love' in the sheets." ____________________________________________ Top 10 Things Only Women Understand 10. Cats' facial expressions. 9. The need for the same style of shoe in different colors. 8. Why Bean sprouts aren't just weeds. 7. Fat clothes. 6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your last time. 5. The difference between beige, off-white, bone, and ecru. 4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow. 3. Eyelash curlers. 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. 1. Other women ____________________________________________ >From Patricia Internet Bumper Stickers * This web site is COVID Free. No face mask required! * I don't get mad... I get stabby! * DON'T MAKE ME USE UPPERCASE! * Well, TODAY was a total waste of makeup. * Last one out of the chatroom, please turn off the lights. * Not tonight dear, I have DSL. * If all else fails, stop using all else. * My mom went to cyberspace, ... and all I got was this internet bumper sticker. * You are, like, SO off my buddy list! ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today November 10 in 1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence after the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The Marine Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. This day is observed as the birth date of the United States Marine Corps. 1801 The U.S. state of Tennessee outlawed the practice of dueling. 1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David Livingstone. Livingstone was a missing Scottish missionary in central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting: "Dr. Livingstone, I presume?" 1879 Western Union and the National Bell Telephone Company reached a settlement over various telephone patents. 1917 41 suffragists were arrested in front of the White House. 1928 Michinomiya Hirohito was enthroned as Emperor of Japan. 1951 Direct-dial, coast-to-coast telephone service began when Mayor M. Leslie Denning of Englewood, NJ, called his counterpart in Alameda, CA. 1954 The Iwo Jima Memorial was dedicated in Arlington, VA. 1969 "Sesame Street" made its debut on PBS. 1970 The Great Wall of China opened for tourism. 1975 The U.N. General Assembly approved a resolution that equated Zionism with racism. The resolution was repealed in December of 1991. 1975 The Edmund Fitzgerald, an ore-hauling ship, and its crew of 29 vanished during a storm in Lake Superior. 1976 The Utah Supreme Court gave approval for Gary Gilmore to be executed, according to his wishes. The convicted murderer was put to death the following January. 1977 The Major Indoor Soccer League was officially organized in New York City. (New York) 1980 CBS News anchor Dan Rather claimed he had been kidnapped in a cab. It turned out that Rather had refused to pay the cab fare. 1982 Soviet leader Leonid I. Brezhnev died of a heart attack at age 75. He was suceeded by Yuri V. Andropov. 1982 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial was opened to visitors. 1986 Camille Sontag and Marcel Coudari, two Frenchmen were released by the captors that held them in Lebanon. 1988 The U.S. Department of Energy announced that Texas would be the home of the atom-smashing super-collider. The project was cancelled by a vote of the U.S. Congress in Oct. 1993. 1991 Robert Maxwell was buried in Israel, five days after his body was recovered off the Canary Islands. 1993 John Wayne Bobbitt was acquitted on the charge of marital sexual assault against his wife who sexually mutilated him. Lorena Bobbitt was later acquitted of malicious wounding her husband. 1993 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Brady Bill, which called for a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases. 1994 U.S. officials announced that it planned to stop enforcing the arms embargo against the Bosnian government the following week. The U.N. Security Council was opposed to lifting the ban. 1994 Iraq recognized Kuwait's borders in the hope that the action would end trade sanctions. 1995 Nigeria's military rulers hanged playwright Ken Saro-Wiwa along with several other anti-government activists. 1995 In Katmandu, Nepal, searchers rescued 549 hikers after a massive avalanche struck the Himalayan foothills. The disaster left 24 tourists and 32 Nepalese dead. 1997 WorldCom Inc. acquired MCI Communication Corporation. It was the largest merger in U.S. history valued at $37 billion. 1997 A jury in Virginia convicted Mir Aimal Kasi of the murder of two CIA employees in 1993. 1997 A judge in Cambridge, MA, reduced Louise Woodward's murder conviction to manslaughter and sentenced the English au pair to time served. She had served 279 days in the death of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. 1998 At the White House, "The Virtual Wall" website (www.thevirtualwall.org) was unveiled. The site allows visitors to experience The Wall through the Internet. 2001 The World Trade Organization approved China's membership. 2020 Do smiled. |
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