Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, June 29 _____________________________________________________ Today, Jun 29 1880 France annexed Tahiti. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Woman Broke Into Ex-Girlfriend's Home, Clobbered Her With A Lava Lamp ! ! ! ! _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An explorer was leading an entourage through the Amazon jungle when they heard the sounds of drums. At the next village, the leader stopped a native and asked him to explain their meaning. "Bad, real bad when drums stop!" he said before running off. The drum beating continued to pulsate. The safari leader asked another native about it. "Bad, real bad when drums stop!" he said. A few minutes later the drums did stop, and all the expedition members became panicked. The leader grabbed another villager and demanded to know the situation. "Bad, real bad that drums stop," he blurted. "Now comes bass solo!" ______________________________________________________` _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Chanel Hall, 29, Tampa, Florida Woman Broke Into Ex-Girlfriend's Home, Clobbered Her With A Lava Lamp A Florida Woman broke into her ex-girlfriend's home at 3 AM and assaulted the sleeping victim with a lava lamp, cops allege. Investigators say that Chanel Hall, 29, earlier this month forced entry through the locked front door of the victim's Tampa-area residence. Hall then went to an upstairs bedroom where the 26-year-old victim was asleep. According to a criminal complaint, Hall hit her ex in the forehead with a lava lamp. The blow opened a gash on the woman's head that required several stitches to close. Seen above, Hall was booked Monday on a felony burglary with aggravated battery or assault count. She was also charged with criminal mischief, a misdemeanor. Hall, who was released from the Pasco County jail last night after posting $650 bond, has been ordered by a judge to have no contact with the victim. The court complaint notes that, Victim and Defendant were involved in a sexual relationship for approximately 10 months. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Walter Re: GMAIL won't update Hi Dear Webby, a question for the computer wiz of this world: All of a sudden incoming emails don't show on my W-10 gmail site and I have to use the refresh button to have them appear. My iPhone lists them as they arrive. Thanks for all the great features of your letter. As they used to say long ago:"You are the most to say the least." Walter Dear Walter Head to your Labs settings and enable the "Refresh POP accounts" lab, then hit "Save changes" at the bottom or top of the page. From then on, you'll see a "Refresh" link to the right of your inbox buttons. Hit it and Gmail will poll any email accounts you've set it up to fetch from. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A drill sergeant had just chewed out a new recruit. At the end of his rant he said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." The kid said, "Not me, Sarge. I promised myself that when I got out of the Army, I'll never stand in line again." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A member of the Country Club asked the lifeguard how he might go about teaching a young lady to swim. "It takes considerable time and technique." replied the guard. "First you must take her into the water, then place one arm about her waist, hold her tightly, then take her right arm and raise it very slowly..." "This is certainly most helpful." said the member. "I know that my kid sister will appreciate it." "Your sister?" said the lifeguard. "In that case, just push her into the deep end of the pool. She'll learn in a hurry." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Sanding Wood When sanding a piece of wood you can use an old nylon to check the smoothness of the wood. Slip the nylon over you hand and slide your hand over the piece of wood. Anywhere that the nylon snags needs more sanding. thriftyfun.Com When sanding end grain, like the top ends of chair legs, use a file or very hard backing behind the sand paper, or paint the ends with filler/sealer. Otherwise, with some woods you will never get the ends perfectly smooth. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ >From Lynn When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed he had once thought more than friendship might be a possibility. "So what changed your mind?" I asked him. "I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He looked at my chart and said, 'You're interested in someone who's 104?'" ___________________________________________________ It was a typically busy day at the bank. After a glance at the line of waiting customers, a harried-looking man came up to the side counter and demanded, "What do I have to do to change the address on my account?" Without missing a beat, the clerk replied, "Move." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Thanks to Roland for this story: My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said, "I know I had my cell phone with me. And now I can't find it!" I replied, "Aren't you talking on it?" There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of the situation sank in, followed by, "You are NOT going to tell anybody about this!" ___________________________________________________ | Today, June 29 in 1236 Ferdinand III of Castile and Leon took Cordoba in Spain. 1652 Massachusetts declared itself an independent commonwealth. 1767 The British Parliament approved the Townshend Revenue Acts. The acts imposed import duties on glass, lead, paint, paper and tea shipped to America. 1776 The Virginia constitution was adopted and Patrick Henry was made governor. 1804 Privates John Collins and Hugh Hall of the Lewis and Clark Expedition were found guilty by a court-martial consisting of members of the Corps of Discovery for getting drunk on duty. Collins received 100 lashes on his back and Hall received 50. 1860 The first iron-pile lighthouse was completed at Minot's Ledge, MA. 1880 France annexed Tahiti. 1888 Professor Frederick Treves performed the first appendectomy in England. 1903 The British government officially protested Belgian atrocities in the Congo. 1905 Russian troops intervened as riots erupted in ports all over the country. Many ships were looted. 1917 The Ukraine proclaimed independence from Russia. 1925 Marvin Pipkin filed for a patent for the frosted electric light bulb. 1926 Fascists in Rome added an hour to the work day in an economic efficiency measure. 1932 Siam's army seized Bangkok and announced an end to the absolute monarchy. 1946 British authorities arrested more than 2,700 Jews in Palestine in an attempt to end alleged terrorism. 1950 U.S. President Harry S. Truman authorized a sea blockade of Korea. 1951 The United States invited the Soviet Union to the Korean peace talks on a ship in Wonson Harbor. 1953 The Federal Highway Act authorized the construction of 42,500 miles of freeway from coast to coast. 1954 The Atomic Energy Commission voted against reinstating Dr. J. Robert Oppenheimer's access to classified information. 1955 The Soviet Union sent tanks to Poznan, Poland, to put down anti-Communist demonstrations. 1966 The U.S. bombed fuel storage facilities near the North Vietnamese cities of Hanoi and Haiphong. 1967 Israel removed barricades, re-unifying Jerusalem. 1972 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the death penalty could constitute "cruel and unusual punishment." The ruling prompted states to revise their capital punishment laws. 1982 Israel invaded Lebanon. 1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Le Pont de Trinquetaille" was bought for $20.4 million at an auction in London, England. 1995 The shuttle Atlantis and the Russian space station Mir docked, forming the largest man-made satellite ever to orbit the Earth. 2007 The first generation Apple iPhone went on sale. 2011 The state of Nevada passed the first law that permitted the operation of autonomous cars on public roads. The law went into effect on March 1, 2012 and did not permit the use of the cars to the general public. Google received the first self-driving vehicle license in the U.S. on May 4, 2012 in Nevada. 2019 Do smiled. |
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