Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, June 14 ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Pet duck helps find body of missing woman with dementia; granddaughter charged ___________________________________________________ History on this day, June 11, in 1900, Hawaii became a U.S. territory. ___________________________________________________ Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. --- Elvis Costello (1954 - ) ___________________________________________________ After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into an old blouse and sweats and proceeded to wash her hair and give herself a facial. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she wrapped a towel around her head and, with cold creme on her face, stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say, with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT monfter?" ___________________________________________________ One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The scientist walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We are to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost?" God listened very patiently and kindly to the man. After the scientist was finished talking, God said, "Very well, how about this? Let's say we have a man-making contest." The scientist replied, "Okay, great!" But, God added, "We're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam." The scientist said, "Sure, no problem," then bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt. God looked at him and said, "No, no, no. You go get your own dirt." ___________________________________________________ >Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Angela Wamsley, Mark Barnes, Candler, North Carolina, USA Pet duck helps find body of missing woman with dementia; granddaughter charged Investigators say a pet duck helped locate the body of a murdered woman on April 14, 2022, at a home in Candler, WLOS reported. Angela Wamsley and Mark Barnes are charged with murdering Wamsley's grandmother, Nellie Sullivan. Sullivan, in her 90's, was determined to be missing in 2020, according to Buncombe County Sheriff's Office Sgt. Mark Walker, with the Major Case Unit. Investigators say a pet duck helped locate the body of a murdered woman on April 14, 2022, at a home in Candler, Angela Wamsley and Mark Barnes are charged with murdering Wamsley's grandmother, Nellie Sullivan. Sullivan, in her 90's, was determined to be missing in 2020, according to Buncombe County Sheriff's Office Sgt. Mark Walker, with the Major Case Unit. "It became pretty apparent almost immediately that Miss Sullivan had disappeared under what can be said suspicious circumstances," Walker said. Walker said Wamsley and Barnes, who were already in jail, were previously charged, in mid-December 2020, with concealing a death in connection to the case, but investigators didn't find Sullivan's body until mid-April of 2022. According to Walker, years of search warrants and state and federal assistance led nowhere. Angela Wamsley and Mark Barnes are charged with murdering Wamsley's grandmother, Nellie Sullivan. Sullivan, in her 90's, was determined to be missing in 2020, according to Buncombe County Sheriff's Office Sgt. Mark Walker, with the Major Case Unit. "It became pretty apparent almost immediately that Miss Sullivan had disappeared under what can be said suspicious circumstances," Walker said. Walker said Wamsley and Barnes, who were already in jail, were previously charged, in mid-December 2020, with concealing a death in connection to the case, but investigators didn't find Sullivan's body until mid-April of 2022. According to Walker, years of search warrants and state and federal assistance led nowhere. "Mark [Barnes] actually sent us on a wild goose chase which resulted in us digging for several days in a site that he knew she was not located at," Walker said. That goose chase eventually ended, thanks to the pet duck. "Apparently, the duck ran underneath the trailer at 11 Beady Eyed Lane, and as they were chasing after their pet duck, they ran across the container that Nellie Sullivan was located in," Walker said. "If I could give that duck a medal, I would." Investigators said they believe Sullivan was murdered at a different location, then brought to the trailer. "Her remains have been sent to an anthropologist for further examination just so we can try to nail down exactly how long she's been deceased," Walker added. "We do know it was multiple years." According to Walker, Wamsley and Barnes concealed the body, then continued to collect Sullivan's social security and retirement benefits. He said they also filled her prescriptions. "I would like to say that I'm never surprised anymore, but this case -- it was surprising," Walker said. RELATED | Police investigating Delphi murders search for anyone who talked to man using anthony_shots profile The veteran investigator admitted he was shocked by the disregard for human life: An aging grandmother, suffering from health issues, including dementia. "Instead of receiving the care she needed from those that are supposed to love her the most, she received the exact opposite in the worst possible way," Walker said. Sullivan's official cause of death has not yet been released by the medical examiner, as the investigation is still underway. ___________________________________________________ "Signs Spotted in England" In a cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves. In a Laundromat: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out. In a London department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken. In another office: After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board. On a church door: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.) Outside a second hand shop: We exchange anythingbicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain. Quicksand Warning: Quicksandany person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council. Notice in a dry cleaners window: Anyone leaving his or her garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of. In a health food shop window: Closed due to illness. Spotted in a safari park: Elephants Please Stay in Your Car. Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and does not know it, there is a day care on the first floor. Notice in a field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges. Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons. On a repair shop door: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell does not work.) Spotted in a toilet in a London office block: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, please hit paypal with it! ___________________________________________________ The congregation of a small stone church decided that the stone which formed the step up to the front door had become too worn by its years of use, and would have to be replaced. Unfortunately, there were hardly any funds available for the replacement. Then someone came up with the bright idea that the replacement could be postponed for many years by simply turning the block of stone over. They discovered that their great-grandparents had beaten them to it. ____________________________________________________ My lawn mowers ___________________________________________________ Matt went into Doc Steven's office for his annual checkup, and the Doc asked if there was anything unusual he should know about. That left it pretty wide open, so he told the Doc that he found it real strange how his suit must've shrunk just sittin' in his closet, because it didn't fit when he went to get ready for a wedding recently. The Doc said, "Suits don't shrink just sittin' there. You probably just put on a few pounds, Matt." "That's just it, Doc, I know I haven't gained a single pound since the last time I wore it." "Well, then," said Doc, "You must have a case of Furniture Disease." "What in the world is Furniture Disease?" Matt asked. "Furniture Disease, Matt, is when you reach that stage in life when your chest starts slidin' down into your drawers." ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! _____________________________________________________ A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked. "Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me." ____________________________________________________ Cindy is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left my baby on the bus again!" ______________________________________________________ During a dinner party, the hosts' two small children entered the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table. The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going. The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening. After going all the way around the room, the children left. During a moment of silence at the table, one of the children was heard to say, "You see, it is vanishing cream!" ___________________________________________________ DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Shirley Re: Make a web page Dear Webby I have two nieces that have their own business but have no idea how to set up a web page what could you recommend that would help them do so? Love your humor letter Hope all is well with you Thank you so much Shirley Dear Shirley! The mechanics of setting up a web page are easy, IF they have done their homework. 1) Select a domain name. They can Skype me: dearwebby and I will help them brainstorm for a good name. Once they have selected an available (not used yet) name, I can register it for them. Registration is $12 - $120 per year, depending on what extension (after the dot) they select. I recommend .com for $12 per year. That is what everybody typo's on absentminded auto-pilot. 2) Text and pictures: They have to write / collect those. I can help, but right now, I don't know what their business is. 3) They have to order web space for their domain. That is $5 a month, or much more if they go to other providers. 4) Upload their pictures and text. I will walk them through that on Skype and answer any questions they have. If they are as cute as you, I will give them unlimited online support, forever. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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______________________________________________________ Leroy was telling his friend Bubba about the date he had the night before, "It was a bummer. She used four letter words all evening." Bubba exclaimed, "Really? I can't believe you didn't enjoy that." "Guess again," said Leroy, "All night she kept saying 'Quit,' 'Stop,' and 'Don't!'" __________________________________________ Two kids are talking to each other. One says, "I'm really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I'm worried sick!" The other kid says, "What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you've got it made!" The first kid says, "What if they try to escape?" __________________________________________ During an arctic training exercise in Alaska intense cold played havoc with vehicles and equipment. One harassed battery commander was trying to cope with vehicles that wouldn't run and machinery that wouldn't work. He was wondering what else could go wrong when the door flew open and a soldier rushed in and announced, "Hey, captain, the northern lights are out! Exasperated and without looking, the captain barked, "Well, don't tell me! Go get the generator mechanic and have him fix the darn things!" _______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
| Today, June 14, in 1775, The Continental Army was founded by the Second Continental Congress for purposes of common defense. This event is considered to be the birth of the United States Army. On June 15, George Washington was appointed commander-in-chief. 1777, The Continental Congress in Philadelphia adopted the "Stars and Stripes" as the national flag of the United States. The Flag Resolution stated "Resolved: that the flag of the United States be made of thirteen stripes, alternate red and white; that the union be thirteen stars, white in a blue field, representing a new Constellation." On May 20, 1916, President Woodrow Wilson officially proclaimed June 14 "Flag Day" as a commemoration of the "Stars and Stripes." 1789, Captain William Bligh of the HMS Bounty arrived in Timor in a small boat. 1798, American captain Edmund Fanning discovered Kingman Reef between the Hawaiian Islands and American Samoa. In 1922, the United States annexed the uninhabited, triangle- shaped reef. 1834, Cyrus Hall McCormick received a patent for his reaping machine. 1834, Isaac Fischer Jr. patented sandpaper. 1841, The first Canadian parliament opened in Kingston. 1846, A group of U.S. settlers in Sonoma proclaimed the Republic of California. 1893, Philadelphia observed the first Flag Day. 1900, Hawaii became a U.S. territory. 1907, Women in Norway won the right to vote. 1917, General John Pershing arrived in Paris during World War I. 1919, The first non-stop trans-Atlantic flight began. Captain John Alcot and Lt. Arthur Brown flew from Newfoundland to Ireland. 1922, Warren G. Harding became the first U.S. president to be heard on radio. The event was the dedication of the Francis Scott Key memorial at Fort McHenry. 1927, Nicaraguan President Adolfo Diaz signed a treaty with the U.S. allowing American intervention in his country. 1940, The Nazis opened their concentration camp at Auschwitz in German-occupied Poland. 1940, German troops entered Paris. As Paris became occupied loud speakers announced the implementation of a curfew being imposed for 8 p.m. 1943, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that schoolchildren could not be made to salute the U.S. flag if doing so conflicted with their religious beliefs. 1944, Sixty U.S. B-29 Superfortress' attacked an iron and steel works factory on Honshu Island. 1945, Burma was liberated by Britain. 1949, The state of Vietnam was formed. 1951, "Univac I" was unveiled. It was a computer designed for the U.S. Census Bureau and billed as the world's first commercial computer. 1952, The Nautilus was dedicated. It was the first nuclear powered submarine. 1954, U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed an order adding the words "under God" to the Pledge of Allegiance. 1954, Americans took part in the first nation-wide civil defense test against atomic attack. 1965, A military triumvirate took control in Saigon, South Vietnam. 1967, Mariner 5 was launched from Cape Kennedy, FL. The space probe's flight took it past Venus. 1982, Argentine forces surrendered to British troops on the Falkland Islands. 1987, The Los Angeles Lakers won the NBA title by defeating the defending Boston Celtics. 1989, Former U.S. President Reagan received an honorary knighthood from Britain's Queen Elizabeth II. 1990, The U.S. Supreme Court upheld police checkpoints that are used to examine drivers for signs of intoxication. 1994, The New York Rangers won the Stanley Cup by defeating the Vancouver Canucks. It was the first time the Rangers had won the cup in 54 years. 2002, Actor Kirk Douglas received the UCLA Medal. The award is presented to people for cultural, political and humanitarian achievements. 2022 Do smiled. |
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