Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, November 11 Here is a domain name you can use! 4mylove.com You can buy that domain name for $50 Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:   OZ man 'punched prostitute in the face' when she refused to have sex without a condom  ______________________________________________________ Today, November 11 in 1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day in the United States. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) You can observe a lot just by watching. --- Yogi Berra (1925 - ) ______________________________________________________ Sometimes Norm can be so positive and enthusiastic about whatever's he's doing that it's disconcerting to me. I wonder if he's walking in the same world I am. Once we were fishing in a mountain lake. We hadn't caught a thing. Norm had rowed the boat to five or six different spots, looking for the fish to bite. Finally, after about three hours, he got this big grin on his face and said, "Now we can really start fishing. We know where the fish aren't!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ >From Wilbur Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." So she got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my wine. _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ While down south on a visit, the young Yankee made a date with a local lovely. When he called for her, she was clad in a low-cut, tight-fitting, long dress. He remarked, "That's certainly a beautiful dress." "Sho 'nough?" she asked sweetly. "It sure does," he replied. ______________________________________________________   Tag Team _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Andrew Strogylos, 36, Sydney, Australia  OZ man 'punched prostitute in the face' when she refused to have sex without a condom  Mortgage broker Andrew Strogylos, 36, was charged with common assault and assault occasioning actual bodily harm against the woman who worked at a brothel in Sydney, Australia. He allegedly attacked her when she refused unprotected sex after Strogylos handed over $200 for a 'platinum service'. Strogylos had been wearing a condom when the service began, but allegedly took it off before trying to have sex with the 28-year-old sex worker at the Zinia Brothel on March 16. Burwood Local Court heard that Strogylos argued with the woman when she tried to 'shut down' the one-hour session. Court documents claim Strogylos told the woman he had paid $200 for platinum service and she should 'offer those services'. The court heard the woman called for help and covered herself with a towel until her co-worker Yi Xun Gan entered the room. Police allege in court documents that Strogylos then spat in the woman's face, she poured water on him and he allegedly retaliated by punching her in the face. Mr Gan was also allegedly punched in the face after trying to help the woman. Strogylos was arrested on April 27 at his home in Belmore, Sydney. time to act Police allegedly uncovered a stash of steroids including 63 10ml vials of testosterone in his bedroom, the court heard. He was also charged with five counts of possessing a prohibited drug and supply prohibited drug, after police allegedly uncovered pills and other items at this home. Strogylos, who did not apply for bail and was formally refused bail. It is hoped that he will be taught manners in jail.  From: Jenn Re: Mailwasher filters  Dear Webby I finally took your advice and downloaded Mailwasher. Can you suggest some filters for spam? I already set up the "=?ISO-" one you suggested, but wonder if you have any more suggestions. Also, how do I keep it from bouncing legitimate mail I get from the various lists that I'm on (including yours)? Do I have to make sure to get them all on my friends list? Jenn  Dear Jenn For making filters just make them as spam comes in. They are really easy to make, and a very rewarding type of fun. When you see spam, look for things different spams have in common. A typically common word is "enlarge", and that also is part of enlargement. Hit CTRL F7, the Filter editor opens, make a filter that reacts to that word, deletes it and hides it. The same for "Prescript", and so on. No need to use the full words, just the common parts of them. With newsletters, make GOOD filters for them. That is more precise than to just add them to the friends list. Mark them as legitimate and hide them from the list Just add filters as required by the type of spam you get. The reward is when you open up in the morning and read in the status line: 412 emails hidden, and then gleefully pounce on the "PROCESS" button. The only better way to start the day is not a family safe topic '-) Have FUN! DearWebby  
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 Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. "This," she said, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?" "No, Madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror." 
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 HER SIDE OF THE STORY He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure. So anyway, in the cab on the way back to his house, I said that I love him and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the hell that meant because you know he doesn't say it back or anything. We finally got back to his place and I was wondering if he was going to dump me! So I tried to ask him about it but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to sleep. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and we had sex. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to leave but I just cried myself to sleep. I dunno, I just don't know what he thinks anymore. I mean, do you think he's met someone else??? HIS SIDE OF THE STORY My team lost. That cost me a bundle! Felt Kinda Tired. Got laid though. ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Getting the Most out of Turkey or Chicken Bones To pull the calcium out of chicken or turkey bones, add 1 ounce of vinegar to each quart of water (up to 4 ounces total) when you are making soup stock. It will not give a vinegar taste to the soup but will draw out ALL the nutrients in the bones.  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
 
 
A Tribute to Americans and Vets all over the world on this Veterans Day and a Tribute to Canada and Great Britain on their Remembrance Day. 
 ___________________________________________________ Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I've lost 20 pounds." "Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend. "Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Fatal Things To Say If Your Wife Is Pregnant I finished the Oreos. Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds. Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby! I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever! Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl. Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella. Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt. Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott! I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth? Are your ankles supposed to look like that? Get your *own* ice cream. Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today. Got milk? Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney? Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar! Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water. Your stomach sticks out almost as much as your rear! You don't have the guts to pull that trigger!  
 Today November 11 in 1620 The Mayflower Compact was signed by the 41 men on the Mayflower when they landed in what is now Provincetown Harbor near Cape Cod. The compact called for "just and equal laws." 1831 Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged in Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising. 1851 The telescope was patented by Alvan Clark. It had been in use for a few hundred years, but never patented. 1880 Australian outlaw and bank robber Ned Kelly was hanged at the Melbourne jail at age 25. 1887 Labor Activists were hanged in Illinois after being convicted of being connected to a bombing that killed eight police officers. 1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day in the United States. 1918 Poland was reestablished shortly after the surrender of Germany. 1920 The body of an unknown British soldier was buried in Westminster Abbey. The service was recorded with the first electronic recording process developed by Lionel Guest and H.O. Merriman. 1921 The Tomb of the Unknowns was dedicated at Arlington Cemetery in Virginia by U.S. President Harding. 1938 Kate Smith first sang Irving Berlin's "God Bless America" on network radio. 1940 The Jeep made its debut. 1942 During World War II, Germany completed its occupation of France. 1952 The first video recorder was demonstrated by John Mullin and Wayne Johnson in Beverly Hills, CA. 1965 The government of Rhodesia declared its independence from Britain. The country later became known as Zimbabwe. 1966 The U.S. launched Gemini 12 from Cape Kennedy, FL. The craft circled the Earth 59 times before returning. 1972 The U.S. Army turned over its base at Long Bihn to the South Vietnamese army. The event symbolized the end of direct involvement in the Vietnam War by the U.S. military. 1975 Civil war broke out when Angola gained independence from Portugal. 1981 Stuntman Dan Goodwin scaled the outside of the 100-story John Hancock Center in Chicago in about six hours. 1981 The U.S.S. Ohio was commissioned at the Electric Boat Division in Groton, CT. It was the first Trident class submarine. 1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan accepted the Vietnam Veterans Memorial as a gift to the nation from the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund. 1984 Gary Coleman, at age 13, underwent his second kidney transplant in Los Angeles. He had his first transplant at age 5. 1986 Sperry Rand and Burroughs merged to form "Unisys," becoming the second largest computer company. 1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Irises" was sold for a then record 53.9 million dollars in New York. 1988 Police in Sacramento, CA, found the first of seven bodies buried on the grounds of a boardinghouse. Dorothea Puente was later charged in the deaths of nine people, convicted of three murders and sentenced to life in prison. 1991 The U.S. stationed its first diplomat in Cambodia in 16 years to help the nation arrange democratic elections. 1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin told U.S. senators in a letter that Americans had been held in prison camps after World War II. Some were "summarily executed," but others were still living in his country voluntarily. 1992 The Church of England voted to ordain women as priests. 1993 Walt Disney Co. announced plans to build a U.S. history theme park in a Virginia suburb of Washington. The plan was halted later due to local opposition. 1993 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Women's Memorial was dedicated to honor the more than 11,000 women who had served in the Vietnam War. 1994 In Gaza, a suicide bomber detonated his explosives at an Israeli military checkpoint killing three soldiers. 1996 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund unveiled "The Wall That Heals." The work was a half-scale replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial that would tour communities throughout the United States. 1997 The Eastman Kodak Company announced that they were laying off 10,000 employees. 1998 Jay Cochrane set a record for the longest blindfolded skywalk. He walked on a tightrope between the towers of the Flamingo Hilton in Las Vegas, NV. The towers are 600 feet apart. 1998 Israel's Cabinet ratified a land-for-peace agreement with the Palestinians. 2002 Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates pledged $100 million to fight AIDS in India. 2018 Do smiled. 
 

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