Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, December 14 If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Wichita police arrest man for several domestic violence charges ____________________________________ Today, December 14 in 1911 Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen became the first man to reach the South Pole. He reached the destination 35 days ahead of Captain Robert F. Scott. _____________________________________________________ Those who agree with us may not be right, but we admire their astuteness. --- Cullen Hightower _____________________________________________________ A teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on. He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off then it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on - this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off. He then said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them." She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots on his feet again. She said, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said, "I tuffed them in the toes of my boots." _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ >From Linda Two brawny men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the way, it was not long before the job was done. As they were getting ready to leave, I asked them to put the heavy appliances back in place. The two men demanded $45 for this service, stating it was not in their contract. I really had no choice but to pay them. As soon as they left, however, the doorbell rang. It was the two men. They asked me to move my car, which was blocking their van. I told them my fee: $50. ____________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kaelan Dixon, 27, Wichita, Kansas, USA Wichita police arrest man for several domestic violence charges The Wichita Police Department has arrested Kaelan Dixon, of Wichita, on charges of aggravated kidnapping domestic violence, aggravated robbery domestic violence, aggravated battery domestic violence, aggravated battery domestic violence strangulation, criminal threat domestic violence, criminal damage domestic violence and aggravated battery. At approximately 12:30 p.m. on Friday, WPD responded to a domestic violence call in the 1800 block of South Estelle where they contacted a female with injuries. An investigation revealed the victim's boyfriend, 27-year-old Dixon, became upset and battered, strangled and threatened her. Dixon was located on the scene and arrested without further incident. Police said Dixon has previous felony convictions and is currently on probation with the Kansas Department of Corrections. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Bumps Re: Hotmail and MailWasher Dear Webby, Dear Webby Will Mail washer work with HotMail without a lot of hassel? Thank you, Bumps Dear Bumps Yes, sure. MailWasher works on nthe server, BEFORE you download your mail. Just tell your Hotmail to NOT automatically check mail every so many minutes, and in MailWasher tell it which email program to call after washing your mail. It is the same with any email program you use. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Little Johnny was left to fix lunch. When his mother returned with a friend, she noticed that Johnny had already strained the tea. The two women then sipped their tea happily while having lunch. "Was it hard finding the tea strainer in the kitchen?" Johnny's mother asked. "I couldn't find it Ma, so I used the fly swatter," he replied. His mother nearly fainted, so Johnny hastily added: "Don't get excited, Ma, I used the old one!" ____________________________________________ Max Levy goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gives him a clean bill of health. "Max, you're in excellent shape for an 85 year old man. But I'm not a magician - I can't make you any younger", says the doctor. "Who asked you to make me younger?" says Max. "Just make sure I get older!" ____________________________________________ >From Lizzie I did my nurse's training at a hospital in Liverpool, England. My fellow students and I had little money for meals, so we ate the awful food provided at the hospital complex. We often took our breaks in the kitchen, and sometimes kindly vistors would give us some of the treats they had brought for patients. One night a woman brought a pork pie to the kitchen and said to me, "Would you eat this up, love?" Delighted at the offer, another student and I devoured every crumb. Soon our benefactor returned, however, and asked, "Is me 'usband's pie 'ot yet, dearie?" _______________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today December 14 in 1798 David Wilkinson of Rhode Island patented the nut and bolt machine. 1799 The first president of the United States, George Washington, died at the age 67. 1900 Professor Max Planck of Berlin University revealed his revolutionary Quantum Theory. 1903 Orville Wright made the first attempt at powered flight. The engine stalled during take-off and the plane was damaged in the attempt. Three days later, after repairs were made, the modern aviation age was born when the plane stayed aloft for 12 seconds and flew 102 feet. 1911 Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen became the first man to reach the South Pole. He reached the destination 35 days ahead of Captain Robert F. Scott. 1918 For the first time in Britain women (over 30) voted in a General Election. 1939 The Soviet Union was dropped from the League of Nations. 1945 Josef Kramer, known as "the beast of Belsen," and 10 others were executed in Hamelin for the crimes they committed at the Belsen and Auschwitz Nazi concentration camps. 1959 Archbishop Makarios was elected Cyprus' first president. 1962 The U.S. space probe Mariner II approached Venus. It transmitted information about the planet's atmosphere and surface temperature. 1975 Six South Moluccan terrorists surrendered to police after holding 23 people hostage for 12 days on a train near the Dutch town of Beilen. 1981 Israel annexed the Golan Heights, seized from Syria in war in 1967. 1983 The U.S. battleship New Jersey fired on Syrian positions in Lebanon for the first time after American F-14 reconnaissance flights were fired on. 1985 Wilma Mankiller became the first woman to lead a major American Indian tribe as she formally took office as principal chief of the Cherokee Nation of Oklahoma. 1986 The experimental aircraft Voyager, piloted by Dick Rutan and Jeana Yeager, took off from California on the first non-stop, non- refueled flight around the world. The trip took nine days to complete. 1987 Chrysler pled no contest to federal charges of selling several thousand vehicles as new when Chrysler employees had driven the vehicles with the odometer disconnected. 1988 CBS won the exclusive rights to major league baseball's 1990- 94 seasons for $1.1 billion. 1988 The first transatlantic underwater fiber-optic cable went into service. 1990 After 30 years in exile, ANC president Oliver Tambo returned to South Africa. 1993 The United Mine Workers approved a five-year contract that ended a strike that had reached seven states and involved some of the nation's biggest coal operators. 1995 The presidents of Bosnia and Herzegovina, Serbia, Croatia signed the Dayton Accords to end fighting in Bosnia. 1995 AIDS patient Jeff Getty received the first-ever bone-marrow transplant from a baboon. 1997 Iran's newest president, Mohammad Khatami, called for a dialogue with the people of the United States. The preceding Iranian leaders had reviled the U.S. as "The Great Satan." 1997 Cuban President Fidel Castro declared Christmas 1997 an official holiday to ensure the success of Pope John Paul II's upcoming visit to Cuba. 1998 Hundreds of Palestinian leaders renounced a call for the destruction of Israel. 1999 U.S. and German negotiators agreed to establish a $5.2 billion fund for Nazi-era slave and forced laborers. 1999 Charles M. Schulz announced he was retiring the "Peanuts" comic strip. The last original "Peanuts" comic strip was published on February 13, 2000. 2000 It was announced that American businessman Edmond Pope would be released from a Russian prison for humanitarian reasons. Pope had been sentenced to 20 years in prison after his conviction on espionage charges. 2001 European Union leaders agreed to dispatch 3,000-4,000 troops to join an international peacekeeping force in Afghanistan. 2001 The first commercial export, since 1963, of U.S. food to Cuba began. The 24,000 metric tons for corn were being sent to replenish what was lost when Hurricane Michelle struck on November 4. 2013 The Chinese spacecraft Chang'e 3 became the first spacecraft to "soft"-land on the Moon since 1976. It was only the third robotic rover to land on the moon. 2020 Do smiled. |
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