| Good Morning, Do! Thank you, Norm!! I really appreciate your help!! Today is Thursday, June 22 ____________________________________________________ History: today, June 22 in 2009, Eastman Kodak Company announced that it would discontinue sales of the Kodachrome Color Film. Show that to the phonies, who murdered the East Coast pipeline and 100,000 jobs, just to raise the price of gas and the taxes! ___________________________________________ Bonehead Florida man swallows cocaine during traffic stop ___________________________________________________ Q Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner. --- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001) Good Morning, Helmut-End-Of-List! Today is Monday, November 30 If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! Thank you, Margaret ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award McNuggets Rage Caught On Tape ____________________________________ Today, November 30 in 1939 The Russo-Finnish War began when 20 divisions of Soviet troops invaded Finland. _____________________________________________________ The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively but says nothing. --- Henry S. Haskins ____________________________________________________ Judi had never been fishing in her entire life, but she wasn't about to tell her new rich boyfriend that. "What? And look like an idiot?" she said to her girlfriend Carly. After about an hour aboard his yacht, she turned to her new boyfriend and said, "Umm, those little red and white thingees? How much do they cost?" Amanpreet looked at her a little funny, shrugged, and said, "The float? I guess they're about a dollar. Why do you ask?" "I owe you a dollar then. Mine just sank." ____________________________________________________ >From Bob I had moved to South Carolina from New York, and at that time a vehicle inspection was required to register my car. I was nervous; my car was in rough shape. I thought of New York's rigorous inspections. Any number of problems might turn up that would be expensive to fix. I drove down a country road and found a garage that had an inspection sign. When I told the mechanic what I needed, he circled the car, turned on the lights and honked the horn. Then he attached a new sticker and asked me for the three-dollar fee. I was shocked. "Is that all you have to do?" I asked. He answered, "Well, you drove it here, didn't you?" ---------- Here I had to pay a licensed mechanic $50 for the walk-around. ___________________________________________________ A husband and wife were involved in a petty argument, both of them unwilling to admit they might be in error. "I'll admit I'm wrong," the wife told her husband in a con- ciliatory attempt, "if you'll admit I'm right." He agreed and, like a gentleman, insisted she go first. "I'm wrong," she said. With a twinkle in his eye, he responded, "You're right!" -----------== He didn't see the cast iron frying pan coming. ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Ana Summer Solstice in South Africa ___________________________________________________ >From Britta I had forgotten to get my estrogen patch prescription refilled, and soon the symptoms of menopause -- hot flashes, forgetfulness, and irritability -- returned. At the drugstore, I found myself telling the pharmacist all about my problems. After listening patiently, he asked, "So, how many people asked you to get this refilled?" ________________________________________________ A customer was really hassling an airline agent at the ticket counter -- yelling and using foul language. However, the agent was polite, pleasant and smiled while the customer continued to abuse her. When the man finally left, the next person in line said to the agent, "Does that happen often? I can't believe how nice you were to him." The agent smiled and said, "No problem, I took care of it. He's going to Detroit. His bags are going to Bangkok." ___________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Leslie Brock, Flagler, Florida, USA Florida man swallows cocaine during traffic stop A Florida man desperate to hide drugs chose to swallow cocaine he had in his possession during a traffic stop Tuesday night, according to deputies. Flagler County deputies said Leslie Brock swallowed the drugs as deputies were trying to pull him over for a traffic infraction. When deputies approached the driver's side of the vehicle, deputies spotted a torn open baggie on his lap with small white flakes consistent with cocaine on his shorts. The Flagler Sheriff's Office shared body camera video of the arrest, which showed Brock refusing to step out of the car multiple times when asked. "Step out of the car," a deputy is heard saying. "What I did, though," Brock replied. Deputies ultimately removed Brock from the car and placed him in handcuffs. At the scene, they tested the flakes found in his car which were presumptive positive for cocaine, officials said. Brock was also seen spitting out a white substance. "So you found cocaine on me, bro," Brock asked. "It's in your spit," the deputy replied. Brock was taken to a hospital in Palm Coast for treatment after ingesting a large amount of narcotics. "This poison peddler could have died while attempting to conceal his narcotics by swallowing them," Sheriff Rick Staly said in a statement. "If you get caught with illegal narcotics dont make things worse by swallowing them. He is lucky to be alive and will be heading to the Green Roof Inn once he is released from the hospital." As of Wednesday morning, Brock is still in the hospital pending medical clearance. He is facing charges of resisting arrest, possession of cocaine and tampering with evidence. ___________________________________________________ A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning. His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before. "Is that so?" the first said. "Did he do a good job?" "Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot," he said. "The ball most have been going 200 mph when it hit me in the balls. That," he added, "was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt." __________________________________________________ >From Fran I am a very nervous flyer. During a trip from California to Indiana, it didn't help that my connecting flight from Denver was delayed twice because of mechanical problems. Then, after we were aloft, I noticed the lights began flickering. I mentioned this to a flight attendant. "I'll take care of it," she said. Moments later the lights went out. Clearly she'd solved the problem by turning off the lights. A passenger across the aisle who had been listening leaned over and said, "Whatever you do, please don't ask about the engines." ___________________________________________________ Red Breasted Nuthach, Camrose County ___________________________________________________ One of the burdens of office of the small town mayor was his brother in-law, a fellow who liked to throw his or, rather, his in-law's political weight around. The mayor had instructed his policemen and other city officials to treat him just like they would any other taxpayer. The brother-in-law got a ticket for overtime parking. He im- mediately descended in fury on police headquarters, waving the ticket and sputtering, "Hey, do you know who I am?" The desk sergeant surveyed him calmly, picked up his telephone and dialed the mayor's office. "Tell the mayor," he said to the secretary, "that his brother-in-law is down here and can't remember his name." ___________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Morris RE: Mail from me Dear Webby, Most mail services put mail from me into spam. I know, it is a bad habit to send memos to myself, but with advancing OldTimers Disease, I am not likely to stop doing that. How can I safeguard my memos? Morris Dear Morris A lot of spammers have for decades forged your address as the sender address. That is why your own address is normally used as a trigger. Long before that became the default, I used MailWasher to dump mail, that had my address as a sender, but I safeguarded it. With memos to myself I added a ~ to the subject line, and filtered mail to the trash, IF it had my address as the sender, AND IF the subject line did not have a tilde. I am still using that filter. Works well. Filters let you be smarter and sneakeier than the spammers. Since Gmail has copied half of Mailwasher, you can probably use that trick with Gmail too. Have FUN! DearWebby __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today June 22, in 1558, The French took the French town of Thioville from the English. 1611, English explorer Henry Hudson, his son and several other people were set adrift in present-day Hudson Bay by mutineers. 1772, Slavery was outlawed in England. 1807, British seamen board the USS Chesapeake, a provocation leading to the War of 1812. 1815, Napoleon Bonaparte abdicated a second time. 1832, J.I. Howe patented the pin machine. 1868, Arkansas was re-admitted to the Union. 1870, The U.S. Congress created the Department of Justice. 1874, Dr. Andrew Taylor Still began the first known practice of osteopathy. 1909, The first transcontinental auto race ended in Seattle, WA. 1911, King George V of England was crowned. 1915, Austro-German forces occupied Lemberg on the Eastern Front as the Russians retreat. 1925, France and Spain agreed to join forces against Abd el Krim in Morocco. 1933, Germany became a one political party country when Hitler banned parties other than the Nazis. 1939, The first U.S. water-ski tournament was held at Jones Beach, on Long Island, New York. 1940, France and Germany signed an armistice at Compiegne, on terms dictated by the Nazis. 1941, Under the codename Barbarossa, Germany invaded the Soviet Union. 1942, A Japanese submarine shelled Fort Stevens at the mouth of the Columbia River. 1942, In France, Pierre Laval declared "I wish for a German victory". 1942, V-Mail, or Victory-Mail, was sent for the first time. 1944, U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt signed the "GI Bill of Rights" to provide broad benefits for veterans of the war. 1945, During World War II, the battle for Okinawa officially ended after 81 days. 1946, Jet airplanes were used to transport mail for the first time. 1956, The battle for Algiers began as three buildings in Casbah were blown up. 1959, Eddie Lubanski rolled 24 consecutive strikes in a bowling tournament in Miami, FL. 1964, The U.S. Supreme Court voted that Henry Miller's book, "Tropic of Cancer", could not be banned. 1970, U.S. President Richard Nixon signed an extension of the Voting Rights Act of 1965. It required that the voting age in the United States to be 18. 1973, Skylab astronauts splashed down safely in the Pacific after a record 28 days in space. 1974, In Chicago, the Sears Tower Skydeck opened. (Willis Tower) 1978, James W. Christy and Robert S. Harrington discovered the only known moon of Pluto. The moon is named Charon. 1980, The Soviet Union announced a partial withdrawal of its forces from Afghanistan. 1989, The government of Angola and the anti-Communist rebels of the UNITA movement agreed to a formal truce in their 14- year-old civil war. 1990, Checkpoint Charlie was dismantled in Berlin. 1992, The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled that hate-crime laws that ban cross-burning and similar expressions of racial bias violated free-speech rights. 1998, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that evidence illegally obtained by authorities could be used at revocation hearings for a convicted criminal's parole. 1998, The 75th National Marbles Tournament began in Wildwood, NJ. 1999, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that persons with remediable handicaps cannot claim discrimination in employment under the Americans with Disability Act. 2009, Eastman Kodak Company announced that it would discontinue sales of the Kodachrome Color Film. 2023, Do smiled.
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