Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, March 27 Today in March 27 in 1912, The first cherry blossom trees were planted in Washington, DC. The trees were a gift from Japan. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award 230 pounds of meth, 25 pounds of cocaine, and 25 pounds of heroin lands 2 Arizona men in jail ___________________________________________________ My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. --- Errol Flynn (1909 - 1959) The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) A little madness in the Spring Is wholesome even for the King. --- Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) ___________________________________________________ How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work. ____________________________________________________ Jill was selling tickets at the movie. A woman asked her: "How much is a ticket?" Jill said, "Four dollars." She said, "How much for children?" Jill said, "Same price, four dollars." She said, "The airlines charge half fare for children." Jill said, "OK, put the kids on a plane somewhere, and you come to the movie. You'll enjoy it a lot more that way." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was holding onto the same pole, staring at her. Eventually, he said, "Excuse me. This is my stop." Since she wasn't blocking his way, she was confused. "Well," she said," go ahead." "And this is my pole," he said. My mother was completely perplexed until the young man added, "I just bought it at the hardware store." And with that, he picked up his pole and carried it off the bus. ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ My Mother taught me STYLE ... If you don't quit that right now I'm going to hit you so hard that by the time you wake up your clothes will be out of style. ____________________________________________________ At the grocery store I was trailing a frazzled mother with two active children, and I watched as she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case and was showing off a rather scary balancing act. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Diego Bernal-Robles, 29, Cipriano Arturo Rojas-Armenta, 44, Tucson, Arizona, USA 230 pounds of meth, 25 pounds of cocaine, and 25 pounds of heroin lands 2 Arizona men in jail The Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA), Tempe Police and the Arizona Attorney General's office announced on March 22 two Arizona men are headed to prison after being found with hundreds of pounds of meth, more than two dozen pounds of cocaine and more than 20 pounds of heroin, about a year and a half ago. On Sept. 20, 2020, police executed a search warrant at a home after a months-long investigation, and that's where the DEA says the drugs were found. Diego Bernal-Robles, 29, and Cipriano Arturo Rojas-Armenta, 44, were living at a Tucson home when police found 230 pounds of meth, 25 pounds of cocaine, and 25 pounds of heroin, along with equipment and chemicals used to manufacture meth. The estimated street value of these drugs: $1,311,000. Arizona Attorney General Mark Brnovich announced the two were convicted for being involved in a drug trafficking organization, the DEA said. Bernal-Robles plead guilty to possession of a dangerous drug for sale, and manufacture of a dangerous drug. In December 2021, a Pima County Superior Court Judge sentenced him to 5 years in prison. Rojas-Armenta plead guilty to conspiracy to commit possession of dangerous drugs for sale, and possession of a narcotic drug for sale in an amount over the statutory threshold. In March 2022, a Pima County Superior Court Judge sentenced him to 3 years in prison. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Verna RE: Classmate Dear Webby I keep getting emails from "A Classmate". There used to be a scam like that when postcards wee still popular. Is this the same? Verna Dear Verna Yes, same scam. If they refuse to identify themselves, then dump them. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! __________________________________________ The night before her wedding, Wendy talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy." The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..." "I know all about sex, mother," Wendy interrupted. "I got my virginity fixed 5 years ago. I want you to teach me how to make a decent lasagna!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Sandy was sitting in the doctor's office when the doctor came in and said, "Sandy, this isn't a urine sample you brought in. It's apple juice." "Oh my god" sandra said, "I've got to get to a phone." "Why?" asked the doctor. "I must have packed the other bottle in Michael's lunch box." ______________________________________________ A man goes to a doctor for a physical checkup. The nurse starts with certain basic items. "How much do you weigh?" she asks. "One-seventy." The nurse puts him on the scale. It turns out that his weight is 183. The nurse asks, "Your height?" "Five-eleven." The nurse checks and sees that he's only 5' 8 1/2". She then takes his blood pressure, and it's very high. The man explains, "Of course it's high. When I came in here, I was tall and slim. Now, I'm short and dumpy!" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
While on board a Navy carrier, the air wing was busy with training missions. After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidentally left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, "That guy sounded just like Elmer Fudd." The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened, realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment. After about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence by announcing, "Be vewy, vewy kwiet. We awe hunting submawenes." ___________________________________________________ | Today, March 27, in 1794 - The U.S. Congress authorized the creation of the U.S. Navy. 1802, The Treaty of Amiens was signed ending the French Revolutionary War. 1836, In Goliad, TX, about 350 Texan prisoners, including their commander James Fannin, were executed under orders from Gen. Antonio Lpez de Santa Anna. An estimated 30 Texans escaped execution and came back with more ammo. 1836, The first Mormon temple was dedicated in Kirtland, OH. 1841, The first steam fire engine was tested in New York City. Steam was usd for pumping water. That was the engine. The steam engine was pulled by 4 horses. 1860, The corkscrew was patented by M.L. Byrn. 1866, U.S. President Andrew Johnson vetoed the civil rights bill, which later became the 14th amendment. 1884, The first long-distance telephone call was made from Boston to New York. 1899, The first international radio transmission between England and France was achieved by the Italian inventor G. Marconi. 1900, The London Parliament passed the War Loan Act that gave 35 million pounds to the Boer War cause in South Africa. 1900, The Russian army mobilized 250,000 troops for active duty. 1901, Filipino rebel leader Emilio Aguinaldo was captured by the U.S. 1904, Mary Jarris "Mother" Jones was ordered by Colorado state authorities to leave the state. She was accused of stirring up striking coal miners. 1907, French troops occupied Oudja, Morocco, as a punitive action for the murder of French Dr. Muchamp. 1912, The first cherry blossom trees were planted in Washington, DC. The trees were a gift from Japan. 1917, The Seattle Metropolitans, of the Pacific Coast League of Canada, defeated the Montreal Canadiens and became the first U.S. hockey team to win the Stanley Cup. 1931, Actor Charlie Chaplin received Frances Legion of Honor decoration. 1933, About 55,000 Jewish people staged a protest against Hitler in New York City. 1933, In the U.S., the Farm Credit Administration was authorized. 1941, Tokeo Yoshikawa arrived in Oahu, HI, and began spying for Japan on the U.S. Fleet at Pearl Harbor. 1942, The British raided the Nazi submarine base at St. Nazaire, France. 1946, Four-month long strikes at both General Electric and General Motors ended with a wage increase. 1952, The U.S. Eighth Army reached the 38th parallel in Korea, the original dividing line between the two Koreas. 1958, Nikita Khrushchev became the chairman of the Soviet Council of Ministers in addition to First Secretary of the Communist Party. 1958, The U.S. announced a plan to explore space near the moon. 1976, Washington, DC, opened its subway system. 1988, The U.S. Senate ratified the Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty. 1989, The U.S. anti-missile satellite failed the first test in space. 1993, In China, Communist Party leader Jiang Zemin was appointed President. 1997, Russian workers, nearly 2 million, held a nationwide strike to protest unpaid wages. 1997, In Australia, Governor-General William Deane signed a bill to overturn a 1996 Northern Territory act to legalize assisted suicides. The 1996 act was the first in the world to permit assisted suicides. 1998, In the U.S., the FDA approved the prescription drug Viagra. It was the first pill for male impotence. 1998, Top civilian aircraft makers in France, Spain, Germany and Britain agreed to create single European aerospace and defense company. 2004, NASA successfully launched an unpiloted X-43A jet that hit Mach 7 (about 5,000 mph). 2007, NFL owners voted to make instant replay a permanent officiating tool. 2022 Do smiled. |
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