Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, November 30 ____________________________________________________ Today, November 30 in 1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the Brady Bill. The bill required a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases and background checks of prospective buyers. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Man suspected of killing roommate is charged with murder _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. --- Marquis de la Grange (1639 - 1692) The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you'll grow out of it. --- Doris Day (1924 - ) "It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it." --- Sam Levenson _______________________________________________ A Dementocrat politician visited a village and asked what their needs were. "We have two basic needs honorable Sir", replied the village leader. "Firstly, we have a hospital but no doctor." On hearing this, the politician brought out his phone, after speaking for a while he told them not worry, a doctor will be there tomorrow, and he asked for the second problem. "...secondly Sir, there is no cellphone reception anywhere in this village. ________________________________________________` Scrap metal sculpture by Penny Hardy ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jason McCaleb, 44, Wichita, Kansas Man suspected of killing roommate is charged with murder A man suspected of stabbing to death his roommate in Wichita has been charged with first-degree murder. The charge is leveled at 44-year-old Jason McCaleb, who made his first court appearance Tuesday. He's being held in Sedgwick County Jail, pending $700,000 bail. It's not clear whether he has an attorney. He's accused of killing 28-year-old Devin Cook. Police say McCaleb told officers called to the home early Saturday morning that he wanted Cook to leave but she refused. They told him that because she'd lived there for about a month, she'd established residency and would require legal action for eviction. Police say officers who returned later in the day found her inside the home with several stab wounds. She died at a hospital. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Rosemary Re: Lost Quick-Launch Dear Webby, I just lost all my quick launch toolbar at the lower left. How do I get them back? I guess that tells you which version of Windows I am using. Rosemary Dear Rosemary Try right-clicking the Status bar click on Tool Bars and put the checkmark onto QUICK LAUNCH Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. A man dies and goes to heaven, and Saint Peter asks him what religion he belongs to. The man tells him, and Saint Peter says, "Oh, we have a lot of your kind here. In fact, we have a special room for all of you, so you can all be together." He leads the man down a long hallway with doors on either side. They pass one door and they hear a bunch of yelling and hollering inside. "Who's in that room?" the man asks. "Oh, those are the holy rollers," says Saint Peter. "They make a lot of noise but they're pretty harmless". They pass by another door which is nearly shaking off its hinges. "Who's in there?" the man asks. "That's the room for the Shakers," replies Saint Peter. Then they approach another door. Saint Peter whispers to the man, "We must be very quiet going past this door. Don't make a sound." They tiptoe past the door and when they get farther down the hallway the man asks Saint Peter who was in that room. "Oh, those are the Protestants. They think they're the only ones up here!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move. "No thank you." she said politely. "This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love." "That must be rather difficult." the man replied. "Oh, I don't mind too much." she said. "But, it has my husband pretty upset." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Make a "What To Do" List for Idle Moments Have you ever wondered how some people get more done than others? I have always believed that wasting time is as bad as wasting resources or money. I started taking stock of how much time I spend waiting for something, and the numbers will astound you! Example: I spend 30 hours a year waiting for my coffee to brew! If you spend 5 minutes a day, that comes out to be just about 30 hours per year! I spend about twice that waiting for a bus! And don't even get my started on the 20 minutes per hour that is nothing but commercials on each and every show I watch! So, I compiled a list of what I do while I wait. I hope this will help you not only in your time management, but perhaps even help you eliminate some things you may be doing that you don't even like! By Sandra from Salem, OR Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Joe and Joan were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report on the radio. "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared," the weather report said. "You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." Joe said, "Jeez, okay," and got up from his coffee. The next day they were sitting down with their morning cups of coffee. The weather forecast was, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets." Again Joe replied, "Jeez, okay," and got up from his coffee. Two days later, again they're sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast said, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the..." and the power went out and Joe didn't get the rest of the instructions. He turned to Joan, "Jeez, what am I going to do now, Joan?" Joan replied, "Aw, Joe, just leave the car in the darned garage today, they won't notice." ___________________________________________________ Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night, an owl finally called back to him. For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the "conversation"... Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in interspecies communication, his wife had a chat with her next door neighbor. "My husband spends his nights ... calling out to owls," she said. "That's odd," the neighbor replied. "So does my husband!" ___________________________________________________ While Kathy is at her friend's house it starts to rain very heavily. Her friend tells her to spend the night at her house and go home the next day. When she hears this, Kathy rushes out the door and comes back a while later totally drenched and carrying a small, soggy paper bag. So her friend asks "Where did you run off too?" "I went home to get my pajamas!" ------------- No rain here! -21, clear and sunny. Snow is bright white, no danger of it melting. __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, November 30 in 1700 8,000 Swedish troops under King Charles XII defeated an army of at least 50,000 Russians at the Battle of Narva. King Charles XII died on this day. 1782 The United States and Britain signed preliminary peace articles in Paris, ending the Revolutionary War. 1803 Spain completed the process of ceding Louisiana to France. 1804 U.S. Supreme Court Justice Samuel Chase went on trial accused of political bias. He was later acquitted by the U.S. Senate. 1838 Three days after the French occupation of Vera Cruz, Mexico declared war on France. 1853 During the Crimean War, the Russian fleet attacked and destroyed the Turkish fleet at the battle of Sinope. 1858 John Landis Mason received a patent for the first pepper shaker with a screw-on cap. 1875 A.J. Ehrichson patented the oat-crushing machine. 1897 Thomas Edison's own motion picture projector had its first commercial exhibition. 1906 George Parker Bidder, President of the Marine Biological Association (UK) released a glass bottle with a message into the North Sea. The bottle spent 108 years and 38 days at sea before it was found on the shores of Germany in 2015. 1928 General Mills stock debuted on the New York Stock Exhchange. 1936 London's famed Crystal Palace was destroyed in a fire. The structure had been constructed for the International Exhibition of 1851. 1939 The Russo-Finnish War began when 20 divisions of Soviet troops invaded Finland. 1949 Chinese Communists captured Chungking. 1954 In Sylacauga, AL, Elizabeth Hodges was injured when a meteorite crashed through the roof of her house. The rock weighed 8-pounds. 1956 CBS replayed the program "Douglas Edward and the News" three hours after it was received on the West Coast. It was the world's first broadcast via videotape. 1962 U Thant of Burma was elected secretary-general of the United Nations, succeeding the late Dag Hammarskjold. 1966 The former British colony of Barbados became independent. 1981 The U.S. and the Soviet Union opened negotiations in Geneva that were aimed at reducing nuclear weapons in Europe. 1986 "Time" magazine published an interview with U.S. President Reagan. In the article, Reagan described fired national security staffer Oliver North as a "national hero." 1988 Kohlberg Kravis Roberts and Co. took over RJR Nabisco Inc. with a bid of $24.53 billion. 1989 PLO leader Yasser Arafat was refused a visa to enter the United States in order to address the U.N. General Assebly in New York City. 1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the Brady Bill. The bill required a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases and background checks of prospective buyers. 1995 President Clinton became the first U.S. chief executive to visit Northern Ireland. 1998 The Deutsche Bank AG announced that it would acquire Bankers Trust Corp. for $10.1 billion creating the world's largest financial institution. 2001 For the first time in it's history, McDonald's teamed up with a retail partner on its Happy Meal promotions. Toys R Us provided plush figures from it's Animal Alley. 2019 Do smiled. |
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