Good Morning, Do, Today is Wednesday, May 10 Have FUN! DearWebby Todays Bonehead Award: Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 10 in 1503 Christopher Columbus discovered the Cayman Islands. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things. --- Peter Drucker (1909 - 2005) A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice. --- Edgar Watson Howe ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The French have now banned fireworks displays at Euro Disney. Reason: after last evenings fireworks display the soldiers at a nearby French army garrison surrendered to the illegal immigrants camping outside the garrison. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ From Kati: Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not." ______________________________________________________ >From Funk They learn early how to snore through Pastor Pauls sermons. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Yogesh Patel, 36, Salem, New Hampshire Salem store owner, employee charged with vandalizing cars The owner of a local convenience store is charged with vandalizing several cars parked in front of his business. Yogesh Patel, 36, owner of M&N Borderline Discount at 540 S. Broadway, called authorities at 8:37 p.m. on Friday and reported multiple cars parked illegally in front of his store, according to police. Police arrived to find 10 cars in the parking lot that had one or more tires deflated. Upon further investigation, officers determined that Patel and a store employee, Deepakkumar Patel, 43, called police to report the illegally parked cars, then walked outside and drilled holes in more than 20 tires. While investigating the incident, police said they recovered video surveillance footage from the store that shows the two men vandalizing the cars and the drill they allegedly used. Police said Sunday that both men were arrested and charged with falsifying physical evidence and conspiracy to commit criminal mischief in excess of $1,500. They were released on $5,000 cash bail and are scheduled to be arraigned in 10th Circuit Court in Salem on June 28. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Cookie Re: Bad link Dear Webby I used to go to this site, but now my link does not work anymore. michaelbach.de/ot Is it dead? Thaks Cookie Dear Cookie It is alive and well. Click on this link: Optical Illusions Have FUN! DearWebby From Yinpumpkin A three year old little boy was examining his genitals while taking a bath. "Mama," he asked, "Are these my brains?" Mama answered, "Not yet." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Outlet Making Crackling Popping Noise The plug socket is making a popping/crackling noise. Then it stops and seems as if has gone back to normal. How safe is it? By Phill NO! Don't touch it! If crackling in an outlet mystifies you, then you need to call an electrician or at least a handyman. Otherwise you are likely to burn down your house and maybe kill somebody. An electrician is a lot cheaper than a mortician. It is a cheap and fast fix for somebody, who has studied that, and most likely you will just have to pay for the traveling time. Have FUN! DearWebby | | Max is Trump supporter (sent by Rita) |
____________________________________________________ It was after 3 a.m. in the fancy restaurant, and all the guests but one had gone home. The last guest was sleeping at his table. The cleaning lady, irritated that she was delayed in doing her job, turned to the restaurant owner. "I've seen you shake the old fool and wake him up five times," she said. "Why don't you make him go home?" "No way!" answered the owner cheerfully. "Every time I wake him up, he asks for his bill and pays it!" ___________________________________________________ From Kati: THE LOST CHAPTER OF GENESIS: Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will praise you! She will bear your children. and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. "She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it." Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?" God replied, "An arm and a leg." Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?" Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
How do you describe a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? Someone who sits up all night, wondering if there is a dog or not. ____________________________________________________ | Today, on May 10 1503 Christopher Columbus discovered the Cayman Islands. 1676 Bacon's Rebellion, which pits frontiersmen against the government, began. 1768 The imprisonment of the journalist John Wilkes as an outlaw provoked violence in London. Wilkes was returned to parliament as a member for Middlesex. 1773 The English Parliament passed the Tea Act, which taxed all tea in the U.S. colonies. It did not go over well. 1774 Louis XVI ascended the throne of France. 1775 Ethan Allen and Colonel Benedict Arnold led an attack on the British Fort Ticonderoga and captured it from the British. 1796 Napoleon Bonaparte won a brilliant victory against the Austrians at Lodi bridge in Italy. 1840 Mormon leader Joseph Smith moved his band of followers to Illinois to escape the hostilities they had experienced in Missouri. 1857 The Seepoys of India revolted against the British Army. 1865 Confederate President Jefferson Davis was captured by Union troops near Irvinville, GA. 1869 Central Pacific and Union Pacific Rail Roads meet in Promontory, UT. A golden spike was driven in at the celebration of the first transcontinental railroad in the U.S. 1876 Richard Wagners "Centennial Inaugural March" was heard for the first time at the Centennial Exposition in Philadelphia, PA. 1898 A vending machine law was enacted in Omaha, NE. It cost $5,000 for a permit. 1908 The first Mother's Day observance took place during a church service in Grafton, West Virginia. 1924 J. Edgar Hoover was appointed head of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. 1927 The Hotel Statler in Boston, MA. became the first hotel to install radio headsets in each of its 1,300 rooms. 1928 WGY-TV in Schenectady, NY, began regular television programming. 1930 The Adler Planetarium opened to the public in Chicago, IL. 1933 The Nazis staged massive public book burnings in Germany. 1940 Germany invaded Belgium, France, the Netherlands, and Luxembourg. 1941 England's House of Commons was destroyed by a German air raid. 1941 Rudolf Hess, Adolf Hitler's deputy, parachuted into Scotland on what he claimed was a peace mission. He was imprisoned for 50 years. 1942 U.S. forces in the Philippines began to surrender to the Japanese. 1943 U.S. troops invaded Attu in the Aleutian Islands to expel the Japanese. 1960 The U.S.S. Triton completed the first circumnavigation of the globe under water. The trip started on February 16. 1962 Marvel Comics published the first issue of "The Incredible Hulk." 1968 Preliminary Vietnam peace talks began in Paris. 1969 The National and American Football Leagues announced their plans to merge for the 1970-71 season. 1978 Britain's Princess Margaret and the Earl of Snowdon announced they were divorcing after 18 years of marriage. 1982 Elliott Gould made his dramatic television debut after 30 movies in 17 years. He starred in "The Rules of Marriage" on CBS-TV. 1994 Nelson Mandela was sworn in as South Africas first black president. 1997 An earthquake in northeastern Iran killed at least 2,400 people. 1999 China broke off talks on human rights with the U.S. in response to NATO's accidental bombing of the Chinese Embassy in Yugoslavia. 1999 The Cezanne painting "Still Life With Curtain, Pitcher and Bowl of Fruit" sold for 60.5 million. 2000 11,000 residents were evacuated in Los Alamos, NM, due to a fire that was blown into a canyon. The fire had been deliberately set to clear brush. 2001 Boeing Co. announced that it would be moving its headquarters to Chicago, IL. 2001 In Ghana, 121 people were killed in a stampede at a soccer game. 2002 Robert Hanssen was sentenced to life in prison with no chance for parole. Hanssen, an FBI agent, had sold U.S. secrets to Moscow for $1.4 million in cash and diamonds. 2002 Taiwan test fired a locally made Sky Bow II surface- to-air missile for the first time. They also fired three U.S.-made Hawk missiles. 2002 Dr. Pepper announced that it would be introducing a new flavor, Red Fusion, for the first time in 117 years. 2011 It was announced that Microsoft had closed a deal to purchase the internet phone service Skype for $8.5 billion to ensure, that Google would not get it. 2013 In New York, NY, crane operators hoisted the final pieces of the spire atop One World Trade Center (formerly called the Freedom Tower). 2017 Do smiled. |
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