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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, March 1, in 1854, The Republican Party was organized in Ripon, WI. About 50 slavery opponents began the new political group. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Joliet teenager convicted of shooting Grundy County Sheriff's deputy __________________________________________________ Q No one goes there nowadays, it's too crowded. --- Yogi Berra (1925 - ) When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?' --- Don Marquis (1878 - 1937) ________________________________________________ Mrs. Lonefold's dishwasher quit working, so she called a Repairman. He couldn't accommodate her with an evening appointment, and, since she had to go to work the next day, she told him: "I'll leave the key under the mat. "Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check. By the way, don't worry about my Rottweiler. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, not under any circumstances talk to my parrot!" When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Lonefold's apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Rottweiler he had ever seen. But, just like she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business. However, the whole time he was there, the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant cursing, yelling, and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled: "Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied: "Sic him, Brutus! __________________________________________________ Stuart Chan Malayan Tiger _________________________________________________ Two nuns were driving down a country road when they ran out of gas. They walked to a farmhouse and a farmer gave them some gasoline; but the only container he had was an old bedpan. The nuns were happy to take whatever they were offered and returned to their car. As they were pouring the gasoline from the bedpan into the tank of their car, a minister drove by. He stopped, rolled down his window and said, "Excuse me, sisters. I'm not of your religion, but I couldn't help admiring your faith!" ________________________________________________ A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one." The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long." ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ I can't play fetch with my dog," said Tona. "Why not?" "Because," she replied, "he can't throw." ___________________________________________________ Late one afternoon, the Air Force guys out at Area 51 are surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impound the aircraft and haul the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot's story is that he took off out of Las Vegas, got lost and found the base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force starts a full security check on the guy and hold him overnight. The next day they are finally convinced that the guy really was lost and is not a spy. They gas up his airplane, give him a terrifying "you did not see a base" briefing complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison. They say Vegas is that-a-way on this heading and send him off. The next day, here comes the Cessna again. Once again the MPs surround the plane, only this time there are two people in the plane. The same pilot jumps out and says: "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and SHE DEMANDS to know where I was last night." __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by DeMarkus Denwiddie, 19, Joliet, Illinois, USA Joliet teenager convicted of shooting Grundy County Sheriff's deputy A Joliet teenager was convicted on Friday of attempted murder of a Grundy County Sheriffs deputy. Nineteen- year-old DeMarkus Denwiddie was found guilty by a jury on three counts of attempted murder, three counts of aggravated battery, and aggravated discharge of a firearm. Prosecutors say Deputy Tyler Post tried to conduct a traffic stop on a vehicle driven by Denwiddie in the area of Route 47 and DuPont Road on October 7th of 2021. Denwiddie fled the scene and got into an accident near the railroad crossing at Grand Ridge Road in Mazon. During a foot pursuit with Denwiddie, Post, who was within a few feet of the suspect, was shot three times. Two of the three rounds were stopped by Post's bulletproof vest. In the process of firing the gun, Denwiddie also shot himself in the left arm. Denwiddie was arrested at an apartment complex on Depot Street in Mazon a few hours later. The jury trial started on Tuesday. Grundy County Public Defender Michael Olewinski claims Denwiddie was concerned for his safety while being pursued and did not know an officer was chasing him before he fired. Olewinski says his client firing the gun without looking is not intent to kill an officer. Grundy County States Attorney Russ Baker commented on the defenses argument. It took the jury less than two hours to come back with a guilty verdict on all charges. Assistant State's Attorney Kyle Klukas had this to say when interviewed by WCSJ after the conviction. Baker said Denwiddies bond was revoked and he is due back in court on April 16th. Prosecutors say Denwiddie will be sentenced to 45 to 105 years in jail ____________________________________________________ On a Northwest Airways flight from Atlanta, GA., a middle- aged, well-to-do woman found herself sitting next to a man wearing a kippa. She called the attendant over to complain about her seating. 'What seems to be the problem Madam?' asked the attendant. You've sat me next to a Jew!! I can't possibly sit next to this disgusting person. Find me another seat!' 'Please calm down Madam.' the attendant replied. 'The flight is very full today, but I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll go and check to see if we have any seats available in club or first class.' The woman shoots a snooty look at the snubbed Jewish man beside her (not to mention many of the surrounding passengers). A few minutes later the attendant returned. The woman could not help but look at the people around her with a smug and self-satisfied grin. The flight attendant then says...'Madam, unfortunately, as I suspected, economy is full. I've spoken to the cabin services director, and club is also full. However, we do have one seat in first class.' Before the lady has a chance to respond, the attendant continues...'It is most extraordinary to make this kind of upgrade, however, and I had to get special permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt that it was outrageous that someone should be forced to sit next to such a person.' The flight attendant turned to the Jewish man sitting next to her, and said: 'So if you'd like to get your things, sir, I have your seat in first class ready for you. The lady says indignantly 'I think that The Captain must have made some kind of mistake.' To which the attendant replied,' No M'am. Captain Aaron Cohen never makes any mistakes.' _________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Amanda Re: Lost icons Dear Webby I use two monitors, one for work, and one for social efforts. Every now and then all the icons on the work one disappear. I thought that was just a W10 bug, but after I donated my W10 machine to a dumpster and got a W7 refurb. I found that the same thing is happening. What is the problem, and how do I fix it? Amanda Dear Amanda That happens on all Windows machines. Nobody knows why. To get your icons back, reduce all windows, and check on the left or main monitor for your icons. All, or most, of the lost icons will be there, and you can drag them back to the other monitor. Not difficult, just a nuisance. Have FUN! DearWebby _________________________________________________ Today, March 1 in 1498, Vasco de Gama landed at what is now Mozambique on his way to India. 1562, In Vassy, France, Catholics massacred over 1,000 Huguenots. The event started the First War of Religion. 1692, In Salem Village, in the Massachusetts Bay Colony, the Salem witch trials began. Four women were the first to be charged. 1781, In America, the Continental Congress adopted the Articles of Confederation. 1784, In Great Britain, E. Kidner opened the first cooking school. 1790, The U.S. Congress authorized the first U.S. census. 1803, Ohio became the 17th U.S. state. 1810, Sweden became the first country to appoint an Ombudsman, Lars August Mannerheim. 1811, Egyptian ruler Mohammed Ali massacred the leaders of the Mameluke dynasty. 1815, Napoleon returned to France from the island of Elba. He had been forced to abdicate in April of 1814. 1845, U.S. President Tyler signed the congressional resolution to annex the Republic of Texas. 1862, Prussia formally recognized the Kingdom of Italy. 1872, The U.S. Congress authorized the creation of Yellowstone National Park. It was the world's first national park. 1873, E. Remington and Sons of Ilion, NY, began the manufacturing the first practical typewriter. 1896, The Battle of Adowa began in Ethiopia between the forces of Emperor Menelik II and Italian troops. The Italians were defeated. 1900, In South Africa, Ladysmith was relieved by British troops after being under siege by the Boers for more than four months. 1907, In Odessa, Russia, there were only about 15,000 Jews left due to evacuations. 1907, In Spain, a royal decree abolished civil marriages. 1907, In New York, the Salvation Army opened an anti- suicide bureau. 1911, Industrialist Henry Frick acquired Velasquez's "Portrait of King Philip IV." 1911, Jose Ordonez was elected President of Uraguay. 1912, Captain Albert Berry made the first parachute jump from a moving airplane. 1924, Disney released the first Alice Comedy entitled "Alice's Day at Sea." 1927, The Bank of Italy became a National Bank. 1932, The 22-month-old son of Charles and Anne Lindbergh was kidnapped. The child was found dead in May. 1937, U.S. Steel raised workers wages to $5 a day. 1937, In Connecticut, the first permanent automobile license plates were issued. 1941, FM Radio began in Nashville, TN, when station W47NV began operations. 1941, Bulgaria joined the Axis powers by signing the Tripartite Pact. 1947, The International Monetary Fund began operations. 1947, Chinese Premier T.V. Soong resigned. 1949, Joe Louis announced that he was retiring from boxing as world heavyweight boxing champion. 1950, Klaus Fuchs was convicted of giving U.S. atomic secrets to the Soviet Union. 1954, The United States announced that it had conducted a hydrogen bomb test on the Bikini Atoll in the Pacific Ocean. It was the first U.S. test of a dry fuel hydrogen bomb under Operation Castle. 1954, Five U.S. congressmen were wounded when four Puerto Rican nationalists opened fire from the gallery of the U.S. House of Representatives. 1959, Archbishop Makarios returned to Cyprus from exile. 1961, The Peace Corps was established by U.S. President Kennedy. 1962, Pakistan announced that it had a new constitution that set up a presidential system of government. 1966, The Soviet probe, Venera 3 crashed on the planet Venus. It was the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the surface of another planet. 1966, Ghana ordered all Soviet, East German and Chinese technicians to leave the country. 1971, A bomb exploded in a restroom in the Senate wing of the U.S. Capitol. There were no injuries. A U.S. group protesting the Vietnam War claimed responsibility. 1974, Seven people were indicted in connection with the Watergate break-in. The charge was conspiring to obstruct justice. 1983, The New Jersey Transit strike began. It ended on April 2. 1984, The U.S.S.R. performed a nuclear test at Eastern Kazakhstan, Semipalatinsk, U.S.S.R. 1987, The Boston Celtics defeated Detroit 112-102 to post their 2,235th NBA win. 1987, S&H Green Stamps became S&H Green Seals. The stamps were introduced 90 years earlier. 1988, Soviet troops were sent into Azerbaijan after ethnic riots between Armenians and Azerbaijanis. 1989, In Washington, DC, Mayor Barry and the City council imposed a curfew on minors. 1990, In Cairo, 16 people were killed in a fire at the Sheraton Hotel. 1992, Bosnian Serb snipers fired upon civilians after a majority of the Moslem and Croatian communities voted in favor of Bosnia's independence. 1992, King Fahd of Saudi Arabia announced major political reforms that ceded some powers after 10 years of disciplined rule. 1992, Bosnian Muslims and Croats voted to secede from Yugoslavia. 1993, The U.S. government announced that the number of food stamp recipients had reached a record number of 26.6 million. 1994, Israel released about 500 Arab prisoners in an effort to placate Palestinians over the Hebron massacre. 1995, The European Parliament rejected legislation that would have allowed biotechnology companies to patent new life forms. 1995, Yahoo! was incorporated. 1996, In Kuala Lumpur, construction was completed for the Petronas Towers. 1999, The Angolan Embassy in Lusaka, Zambia, exploded. Four other bombs went off in the capital. 1999, In Uganda, eight tourists were brutally murdered by Hutu rebels. 1999, Bertrand Piccard and Brian Jones began their attempt to circumnavigate the Earth in a hot air balloon non-stop. They succeeded on March 20, 1999. 2002, Operation Anaconda began in eastern Afghanistan. Allied forces were fighting against Taliban and Al Quaida fighters. 2003, In New York, a $250,000 Salvador Dali sketch was stolen from a display case in the lobby at Rikers Island jail. On June 17, 2003, it was announced that four corrections officers had surrendered and pled innocent in connection to the theft. The mixed-media composition was a sketch of the crucifixion. 2003, In the U.S., approximately 180,000 personnel from 22 different organizations around the government became part of the Department of Homeland Security. This completed the largest government reorganization since the beginning of the Cold War. 2003, Khalid Shaikh Mohammed was captured by CIA and Pakistani agents near Islamabad. He was the suspected mastermind behind the terrorist attacks on the United States on September 11, 2001.1498 - Vasco de Gama landed at what is now Mozambique on his way to India. 1562 - In Vassy, France, Catholics massacred over 1,000 Huguenots. The event started the First War of Religion. 1692 - In Salem Village, in the Massachusetts Bay Colony, the Salem witch trials began. Four women were the first to be charged. 1781 - In America, the Continental Congress adopted the Articles of Confederation. 1784 - In Great Britain, E. Kidner opened the first cooking school. 1790 - The U.S. Congress authorized the first U.S. census. 1803 - Ohio became the 17th U.S. state. 1810 - Sweden became the first country to appoint an Ombudsman, Lars August Mannerheim. 1811 - Egyptian ruler Mohammed Ali massacred the leaders of the Mameluke dynasty. 1815 - Napoleon returned to France from the island of Elba. He had been forced to abdicate in April of 1814. 1845 - U.S. President Tyler signed the congressional resolution to annex the Republic of Texas. 1862 - Prussia formally recognized the Kingdom of Italy. 1864 - Louis Ducos de Hauron patented a machine for taking and projecting motion pictures. The machine was never built. 1867 - Nebraska became the 37th U.S. state. 1869 - Postage stamps with scenes were issued for the first time. 1872 - The U.S. Congress authorized the creation of Yellowstone National Park. It was the world's first national park. 1873 - E. Remington and Sons of Ilion, NY, began the manufacturing the first practical typewriter. 1879 - The library of Hawaii was established. 1890 - "Literary Digest" was available for the first time. 1896 - The Battle of Adowa began in Ethiopia between the forces of Emperor Menelik II and Italian troops. The Italians were defeated. 1900 - In South Africa, Ladysmith was relieved by British troops after being under siege by the Boers for more than four months. 1907 - In Odessa, Russia, there were only about 15,000 Jews left due to evacuations. 1907 - In Spain, a royal decree abolished civil marriages. 1907 - In New York, the Salvation Army opened an anti- suicide bureau. 1911 - Industrialist Henry Frick acquired Velasquez's "Portrait of King Philip IV." 1911 - Jose Ordonez was elected President of Uraguay. 1912 - Captain Albert Berry made the first parachute jump from a moving airplane. 1924 - Disney released the first Alice Comedy entitled "Alice's Day at Sea." 1927 - The Bank of Italy became a National Bank. 1932 - The 22-month-old son of Charles and Anne Lindbergh was kidnapped. The child was found dead in May. 1937 - U.S. Steel raised workers wages to $5 a day. 1937 - In Connecticut, the first permanent automobile license plates were issued. 1941 - FM Radio began in Nashville, TN, when station W47NV began operations. 1941 - Bulgaria joined the Axis powers by signing the Tripartite Pact. 1941 - "Duffys Tavern" debuted on CBS Radio. 1947 - The International Monetary Fund began operations. 1947 - Chinese Premier T.V. Soong resigned. 1949 - Joe Louis announced that he was retiring from boxing as world heavyweight boxing champion. 1950 - Klaus Fuchs was convicted of giving U.S. atomic secrets to the Soviet Union. 1954 - The United States announced that it had conducted a hydrogen bomb test on the Bikini Atoll in the Pacific Ocean. It was the first U.S. test of a dry fuel hydrogen bomb under Operation Castle. 1954 - Five U.S. congressmen were wounded when four Puerto Rican nationalists opened fire from the gallery of the U.S. House of Representatives. 1959 - Archbishop Makarios returned to Cyprus from exile. 1961 - The Peace Corps was established by U.S. President Kennedy. 1962 - Pakistan announced that it had a new constitution that set up a presidential system of government. 1966 - The Soviet probe, Venera 3 crashed on the planet Venus. It was the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the surface of another planet. 1966 - Ghana ordered all Soviet, East German and Chinese technicians to leave the country. 1971 - A bomb exploded in a restroom in the Senate wing of the U.S. Capitol. There were no injuries. A U.S. group protesting the Vietnam War claimed responsibility. 1974 - Seven people were indicted in connection with the Watergate break-in. The charge was conspiring to obstruct justice. 1983 - The New Jersey Transit strike began. It ended on April 2. 1984 - The U.S.S.R. performed a nuclear test at Eastern Kazakhstan, Semipalatinsk, U.S.S.R. 1987 - The Boston Celtics defeated Detroit 112-102 to post their 2,235th NBA win. 1987 - S&H Green Stamps became S&H Green Seals. The stamps were introduced 90 years earlier. 1988 - Soviet troops were sent into Azerbaijan after ethnic riots between Armenians and Azerbaijanis. 1989 - In Washington, DC, Mayor Barry and the City council imposed a curfew on minors. 1990 - In Cairo, 16 people were killed in a fire at the Sheraton Hotel. 1992 - Bosnian Serb snipers fired upon civilians after a majority of the Moslem and Croatian communities voted in favor of Bosnia's independence. 1992 - King Fahd of Saudi Arabia announced major political reforms that ceded some powers after 10 years of disciplined rule. 1992 - Bosnian Muslims and Croats voted to secede from Yugoslavia. 1993 - The U.S. government announced that the number of food stamp recipients had reached a record number of 26.6 million. 1994 - Israel released about 500 Arab prisoners in an effort to placate Palestinians over the Hebron massacre. 1995 - The European Parliament rejected legislation that would have allowed biotechnology companies to patent new life forms. 1995 - Yahoo! was incorporated. 1996 - In Kuala, Lumpur, construction was completed for the Petronas Towers. 1999 - The Angolan Embassy in Lusaka, Zambia, exploded. Four other bombs went off in the capital. 1999 - In Uganda, eight tourists were brutally murdered by Hutu rebels. 1999 - Bertrand Piccard and Brian Jones began their attempt to circumnavigate the Earth in a hot air balloon non-stop. They succeeded on March 20, 1999. 2002 - Operation Anaconda began in eastern Afghanistan. Allied forces were fighting against Taliban and Al Quaida fighters. 2003 - In New York, a $250,000 Salvador Dali sketch was stolen from a display case in the lobby at Rikers Island jail. On June 17, 2003, it was announced that four corrections officers had surrendered and pled innocent in connection to the theft. The mixed-media composition was a sketch of the crucifixion. 2003 - In the U.S., approximately 180,000 personnel from 22 different organizations around the government became part of the Department of Homeland Security. This completed the largest government reorganization since the beginning of the Cold War. 2003 - Khalid Shaikh Mohammed was captured by CIA and Pakistani agents near Islamabad. He was the suspected mastermind behind the terrorist attacks on the United States on September 11, 2001. 2023, Do smiled.
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