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| Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, October 9 ___________________________________________________ History on this day, october 9, in 1936, The first generator at Boulder Dam began transmitting electricity to Los Angeles, CA. The name of the dam was later changed to Hoover Dam. ____________________________________________________ international bonehead award Nurses and Therapist Stop Crazed Rampage as Teen Attacks, Strangles Newborns ____________________________________________________ No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather. --- Michael Pritchard Mustard's no good without roast beef. --- Chico Marx (1891 - 1961) ___________________________________________________ >From Ella A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization. Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?" "Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift." As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?" "Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent." I asked, "After you get it out, how do you put it back?" "Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon." ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Mary for this one: One frigid morning in New Mexico a man turned up at work much the worse for wear. "I didn't sleep a wink," he told a coworker. "I was up all night trying to keep my wife's begonia covered against the freezing cold." "I should be so lucky," his coworker replied. "When it's this cold my wife wears so damn many clothes to bed, I can't get anywhere near her begonia." __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock: An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Marcus Dewayne McCowan Jr, 18, Odessa, Texas, usa Nurses and Therapist Stop Crazed Rampage as Teen Attacks, Strangles Newborns Odessa Regional Medical Center in Odessa, Texas, on Monday at around 6:30 p.m. An 18-year-old BONEHEAD in Texas was arrested after he allegedly stormed through a hospital nursery and began strangling newborns and assaulting staff members. Law & Crime reports that Marcus Dewayne McCowan Jr was charged on Monday with several felonies, including two counts of attempted first-degree capital murder. He can never be released into the public again. The Odessa Police Department detailed the incident in a press release. According to the department, officers responded to an incident at the Odessa Regional Medical Center. During this altercation, McCowan resisted the officers and attempted to take one of their firearms from its holster. The officers were able to take McCowan into custody. An 18-year-old man in Texas was arrested after he allegedly stormed through a hospital nursery and began strangling newborns and assaulting staff members. Law & Crime reports that Marcus Dewayne McCowan Jr was charged on Monday with several felonies, including two counts of attempted first- degree capital murder. The Odessa Police Department detailed the incident in a press release. According to the department, officers responded to an incident at the Odessa Regional Medical Centre in Texas after staff at the hospital reported that a man had "forced his way into the nursery and began assaulting patients and staff." A local ABC affiliate, KMID, obtained an affidavit that described the alleged events at the hospital. According to the affidavit, Mr McCowan was at the hospital because his girlfriend was in labour. Witnesses say in the affidavit that he was acting "odd and unreasonable" prior to the attack. He reportedly grabbed a nurses arm, made an "unintelligible statement" and was then asked to leave the hospital. He then began allegedly running "back and forth in the hall." The man then allegedly began staring at a mother and her newborn, and later shoved nurses to the ground and tried to gain access to a nursery, which was locked. When that did not work, he allegedly grabbed the mother's newborn and fled into a lactation room, where he reportedly began strangling the baby. Nurses told KMID that they saw the baby's face turn blue and noted that police chased the man into the lactation room. A nearby therapist noted the struggle and saw Mr McCown eventually force his way into the nursery. He allegedly began strangling another baby in the nursery, and the therapist tried to calm him down. According to the therapist, Mr McCowan then lifted the baby and said 'die,' making a move as though he were going to throw it to the ground. The therapist intervened and attempted to bring Mr McCowan to the ground while supporting the baby's head to prevent further injury. Eventually a hospital security member arrived and helped to restrain Mr McCowan. When police arrived Mr McCowan reportedly began struggling with them while they were attempting to take him into custody. Mr McCowan was arrested and taken to the Ector County Jail. He was then charged with attempted murder and also possession of a controlled substance, attempting to take a weapon from an officer, assault of a public servant, resisting arrest, criminal trespassing and assault. The charge alleging, he had a controlled substance resulted from a THC vape pen found on his person during the arrest. The suspect was also found to be in possession of a controlled substance, police reported. According to KMID, McCowan now faces multiple counts of attempted capital murder, assault, assault of a public servant, resisting arrest, attempting to take a weapon from an officer, criminal trespass and possession of a controlled substance. His bond has been set at $228,000. While this was a harrowing event, the real heroes in this story are the nurses and respiratory therapist who put their lives on the line to protect their littlest charges. If it werent for their quick thinking and immediate action, there likely would have been at least two families going home without their babies. _____________________________________________________ Top Ten Dumbest Questions Asked by Banff Park Tourists (Yes, they're ALL TRUE as heard at the information kiosks manned by Parks Canada staff!) 1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing"signs? 2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose? 3. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I store it in my tent? 4. Where can I find Alpine Flamingos? 5. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today - could you tell me what it was? 6. Are there birds in Canada? 7. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan? 8. What's the best way to see Canada in a day? 9. Where do you put the animals at night? 10. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?" Park staff: "We take the water out in the winter and paint the bottom." Tourist: " Oh". _____________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ "Grandma, how long have you and Grandpa been married?" asked young Nina. "Fifty years," Grandma replied. "That is so wonderful," exclaimed Nina. "And I bet in all that time, you never once thought about divorce, right?" "Right Nina. Divorce, NEVER. Murder, lots of times, but never divorce." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Do you remember the Burma Shave signs? ***Burma Shave*** BROTHER SPEEDER LET'S REHEARSE, ALL TOGETHER GOOD MORNING NURSE ***Burma Shave*** DON'T LOOSE YOUR HEAD TO GAIN A MINUTE YOU NEED YOUR HEAD YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT *** Burma Shave*** DROVE TOO LONG DRIVER SNOOZING WHAT HAPPENED NEXT IS NOT AMUSING ***Burma Shave*** HUGGING ON HIGHWAY FAVORITE SPORT TRADE IN YOUR CAR FOR A DAVENPORT ***Burma Shave*** CAUTIOUS RIDER TO HER RECKLESS DEAR LET'S HAVE LESS BULL AND MORE STEER ***Burma Shave*** SPEED WAS HIGH WEATHER WAS NOT TIRES WERE THIN X MARKS THE SPOT ***Burma Shave*** THE MIDNIGHT RIDE OF PAUL FOR BEER LED TO A WARMER HEMISPHERE ***Burma Shave*** AROUND THE CURVE LICKETY-SPLIT IT'S A BEAUTIFUL CAR WASN'T IT? ***Burma shave*** NO MATTER THE PRICE NO MATTER HOW NEW THE BEST SAFETY DEVICE IN THE CAR IS YOU *** Burma Shave*** A GUY WHO DRIVES A CAR WIDE OPEN IS NOT THINKIN' HE'S JUST HOPIN' ***Burma Shave*** AT INTERSECTIONS LOOK EACH WAY A HARP SOUNDS NICE BUT ITS HARD TO PLAY ***Burma Shave*** BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL EYES ON THE ROAD THAT'S THE SKILLFUL DRIVER'S CODE ***Burma Shave*** THE ONE WHO DRIVES WHEN HE'S BEEN DRINKING DEPENDS ON YOU TO DO HIS THINKING ***Burma Shave*** CAR IN DITCH DRIVER IN TREE THE MOON WAS FULL AND SO WAS HE. ***Burma Shave*** DRUNKEN DRIVERS HERE'S YOUR CHANCE TO HOBBLE HOME IN AN AMBULANCE ***Burma Shave*** PASSING SCHOOL ZONE TAKE IT SLOW LET OUR LITTLE SHAVERS GROW ***Burma Shave*** _________________________________________________ Dearwebby's tech support pits From:Bill Re: Lost cursor in W10 Dear Webby At times, I lose the cursor controlled by my wireless mouse. I know that you have covered this problem before, but I cant recall the solution. I have changed the battery. After vigorous movement of the mouse, it miraculously reappears. I fear that someday this wont solve the problem. I know that you will have the solution. Thanks, Bill Dear Bill I got fed up with that typical W10 problem and bought a W7 refurb for CDN $300, about US$200. Same mouse. Never even changed the battery. Simply plugged the mouse wireless transceiver into the W7, and everything worked the way it is supposed to. There are tons of excuses from Microsoft support, trying to blame you or the mouse. Buying a new mouse will not help. The problem is NOT the mouse, but a W10 update last fall. If you can roll back the updates to summer, the mouse will miraculously work again just fine, without even changing the battery. Have fun! Dear webby ___________________________________________________ Family leaving Church after services: Father; "That was the longest driest, least informative sermon I've ever heard." Mother; "The choir was terrible. I never heard some of those hymns before, and they were singing them off key." Little Tommy; "I don't know, all in all it wasn't bad show. Three of us for a dollar." ___________________________________________________ Women believe if a pet cat strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home. Women believe if a pet dog strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home. Women believe if a woman strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home. Women believe if a man strays, it's because men are scum. _____________________________________________________ ophelia dingbatter's news no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ today, october 9, in 1635, Roger Williams, founder of Rhode Island, was banished from Massachusetts because he had spoken out against punishments for religious offenses and giving away land that belonged to the Indians. Williams had founded Providence, Rhode Island as a place for people to seek religious freedom. 1701, The Collegiate School of Connecticut was chartered in New Haven. The name was later changed to Yale. 1776, A group of Spanish missionaries settled in what is now San Francisco, CA. 1781, The last major battle of the American Revolutionary War took place in Yorktown, VA. The American forces, led by George Washington, defeated the British troops under Lord Cornwallis. 1812, During the War of 1812 American forces captured two British brigs, the Detroit and the Caledonia. 1855, Isaac Singer patented the sewing machine motor. 1855, Joshua C. Stoddard received a patent for his calliope. 1858, Mail service via stagecoach between San Francisco, CA, and St. Louis, MO, began. 1872, Aaron Montgomery started his mail order business with the delivery of the first mail order catalog. The firm later became Montgomery Wards. 1876, Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Watson made their longest telephone call to date. It was a distance of two miles. 1888, The public was admitted to the Washington Monument for the first time. 1914, During World War I, German forces captured Antwerp, Belgium. 1930, Aviator Laura Ingalls landed in Glendale, CA, to complete the first solo transcontinental flight across the U.S. by a woman. 1936, The first generator at Boulder Dam began transmitting electricity to Los Angeles, CA. The name of the dam was later changed to Hoover Dam. 1940, St. Paul's Cathedral in London was bombed by the Nazis. The dome was unharmed in the bombing. 1946, "The Iceman Cometh" opened in New York City, NY. 1946, The first electric blanket went on sale in Petersburg, VA. 1975, Andrei Sakharov was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The Soviet scientist is known as the "father of the hydrogen bomb." 1983, Helen Moss joined the Brownies at the age of 83. She became the oldest person to become a member. 1986, U.S. District Judge Harry E. Claiborne became the fifth federal official to be removed from office through impeachment. The U.S. Senate convicted Claiborne of "high crimes and misdemeanors." 1986, The musical "Phantom of the Opera" by Andrew Lloyd Webber opened in London. 1989, The official Soviet news agency Tass reported an unidentified flying object. The report included a trio of tall aliens that had visited the city of Voronzh. 1994, The U.S. sent troops and warships to the Persian Gulf in response to Saddam Hussein sending thousands of troops and hundreds of tanks toward the Kuwaiti border. 1995, Saboteurs tinkered with a stretch of railroad track in Arizona. An Amtrak train derailed killing one and injuring a hundred. 2000, Brett Hull (Dallas Stars) scored his 611th National Hockey League (NHL) goal. The goal allowed him to pass his father, Bobby Hull, on the all time scoring list bringing him to number 9. 2003, Britain's Queen Elizabeth II knighted Roger Moore and made Sting a CBE (Commander of the British Empire). 2009, NASA launched the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS). On November 13, it was announced that water had been discovered in the planned impact plume on the moon. 2022 Do! smiled. |
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