Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, December 18 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Burglar climbing into Florida home killed by falling window ____________________________________ Today, December 18 in 2009 - General Motors announced that it would shut down its Saab brand. _____________________________________________________ In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear. --- John C. Dvorak _____________________________________________________ >From Max When my youngest, Spud, was about 5, she'd ask about a zillion questions a day. "What about this? What about that? What about the other?" One day I said, "Spud, what would happen if I asked as many questions as you do?" She shot back, "Well, then, you might be able to answer some of mine." _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. Then, when I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Doc, you've gotta help me, I'm going crazy!" "Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the psychiatrist. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." "How much do you charge?" "My fee is $100 per visit." "That's awfully expensive, Doc," reckoned Shakey. "Let me sleep on it, and I'll get back to you." Six months later, the doctor and Shakey crossed paths. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. "For $100 a visit? Heck, a bartender cured me for $10!" "How do you figure?" asked the psychiatrist. "He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" ____________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rudolfo Brambila, 32, Lehigh Acres, Florida, USA Burglar climbing into Florida home killed by falling window A 32-year-old Florida man was killed in a freak accident during a burglary attempt over the weekend. The Lee County Sheriffs Office told WBBH that Jonathan Hernandez was climbing through a window of the Lee Acres home on Saturday when it slammed down on him. Hernandezs neck was caught under the window and was dead by the time deputies arrived. The TV station reports his family and friends believe thats not the full story. When I first met him, I was like man he looks like he has a rap sheet like El Chapo, his fiancee Patricia Duarte said. And hes the complete opposite of that. Hes the sweetest person youd probably ever meet and has the biggest heart. His friend, Tyson Lane, said, He is not a burglar. Hes not a thief. Hes not a bad guy. Thats not what he is." The sheriff's office said Hernandez was no stranger to law enforcement. According to court records, Hernandez pleaded guilty in 2018 to grand theft. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Mara Re: "Look at file" spam Dear Webby, I'm getting a lot of mail that looks like it is because of that virus. It says to look at the attached file, but the file is not attached. I wouldn't look at it anyway, but I am just curious why the letters arrive but not the attachments. Mara Dear Mara Dear Mara To make that virus fizzle out we are peeling the attachment off those mails. Other big webhosts are doing the same, and also some of the major line carriers. If you have MailWasher, just make a filter that checks the subject line for those phrases. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ One day a man drove his secretary home after she fell quite ill at work. Although this was an innocent gesture, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who tended to get jealous easily. Later, that night the man and his wife were driving to a restaurant. Suddenly he looked down and spotted a high-heel shoe half hidden under the passenger seat. Not wanting to be conspicuous, he waited until his wife was looking out her window before he scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of the car. With a sigh of relief, he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. That's when he noticed his wife squirming around in her seat. "Honey," she asked, "have you seen my other shoe?" ____________________________________________ >From Lilly in OZ A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit to her obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly said, "My husband wants me to ask you..." The doctor cut her off and reassured her, "I know, I know, I get the same question all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy." "No, that's not it," the woman confessed. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn." ____________________________________________ The first year student had just gotten a beat up old VW Beetle from his parents. He took it for a spin but misjudged the curve and overturned the car directly between the house of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Mr. and Mrs. Balls. Luckily, he was pulled out by the Smiths. _______________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today December 18 in 1796 - The "Monitor," of Baltimore, MD, was published as the first Sunday newspaper. 1862 - The first orthopedic hospital was organized in New York City. It was called the Hospital for Ruptured and Crippled. 1865 - U.S. Secretary of State William Seward issued a statement verifying the ratification of the 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. The amendment abolished slavery with the declaration: "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction." 1898 - A new automobile speed record was set at 39 mph (63 kph). 1903 - The Panama Canal Zone was acquired 'in perpetuity' by the U.S. for an annual rent. 1912 - The discovery of the Piltdown Man in East Sussex was announced. It was proved to be a hoax in 1953. 1916 - During World War I, after 10 months of fighting the French and the Allies defeated the Germans in the Battle of Verdun. 1935 - A $1 silver certificate was issued for the first time in the U.S. 1936 - Su-Lin, the first giant panda to come to the U.S. from China, arrived in San Francisco, CA. The bear was sold to the Brookfield Zoo for $8,750. 1950 - NATO foreign ministers approved plans to defend Western Europe, including the use of nuclear weapons, if necessary. 1953 - WPTZ, in Philadelphia, PA, presented a Felso commercial, it 1956 - Japan was admitted to the United Nations. 1957 - The Shippingport Atomic Power Station in Pennsylvania went online. It was the first nuclear facility to generate electricity in the United States. It was taken out of service in 1982. 1965 - Kenneth LeBel jumped 17 barrels on ice skates. 1969 - Britain's Parliament abolished the death penalty for murder. 1970 - Divorce became legal in Italy. 1972 - The United States began the heaviest bombing of North Vietnam during the Vietnam War. The attack ended 12 days later. 1973 - The IRA launched its Christmas bombing campaign in London. 1979 - The sound barrier was broken on land for the first time by Stanley Barrett when he drove at 739.6 mph. 1983 - Wayne Gretzky (Edmonton Oilers) scored his 100th point in the 34th game of the season. 1996 - Despite a U.N. truce, factional fighting in the Somali capital of Mogadishu, broke out in which at least 300 fighters and civilians were killed. 1998 - The U.S. House of Representatives began the debate on the four articles of impeachment concerning U.S. President Bill Clinton. It was only the second time in U.S. history that process had begun. 1998 - Russia recalled its U.S. ambassador in protest of the U.S. attacks on Iraq. 1998 - South Carolina proceeded with the U.S. 500th execution since capital punishment was restored. 1999 - After living atop an ancient redwood in Humboldt County, CA, for two years, environmental activist Julia "Butterfly" Hill came down, ending her anti-logging protest. 2001 - Mark Oliver Gebel, a Ringling Bros. Circus star, went on trial for animal abuse. The charges stemmed from an incident with an elephant that was marching too slowly into a circus performance on August 25, 2001. He was acquitted on December 21, 2001. 2001 - A fire damaged New York City's St. John Cathedral. The cathedral is the largest in the United States. 2001 - In Seattle, WA, Gary Leon Ridgeway pled innocent to the charge of murder for four of the Green River serial killings. He had been arrested on November 30, 2001. 2009 - General Motors announced that it would shut down its Saab brand. 2009 - A Paris court ruled that Google was breaking French law with its policy of digitizing books and fined the company a $14,300-a-day fine until it rids its search engine of the literary extracts. 2010 - In Nanjing, China, the Zifeng Tower opened. 2020 Do smiled. |
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