Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, June 2 Got an obvious scam attempt today. A George Scott in an expensive politician's suit, claiming to be an Agent at Federal Government Grant attempted to become a friend. HA! Govmint grants are disbursed by Obama appointees, and they know that I don't like them. Since I don't fall for the silly climate hoax, they don't like me either. So George Scott obviously is a phony scammer. I did not bother deleting his friend request. I reported him to FB. Less than a minute later, THEY dumped him. _____________________________________________________ Today, June 2 in 1998 Voters in California passed Proposition 227. The act abolished the state's 30-year-old bilingual education program by requiring that all children be taught in English. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Arrested for robbing Walmart three times in a row ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either. --- Gore Vidal (1925 - ) _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ At the next table at the restaurant today I overheard a young woman who was talking with an older woman, apparently her mother. "I haven't slept in three days," she complained. "The baby is teething and he's up all night crying." "Why don't you just wet a finger with some brandy or a sweet liqeur and rub it on his gums. That will numb them up and put him right to sleep." answered mom. "I can't give the baby alcohol! Lord knows what that will do to him." "Well, it never hurt you any." The look on her face was priceless. ______________________________________________________` My Saskatoon berries just love the high CO2 forest fire smoke. They popped into full bloom a few hours after the smoke arrived. Should be a great harvest this year. _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Matthew Brown, 34, Atlanta, Michigan Arrested for robbing Walmart three times in a row A northern Michigan man is accused of robbing a Walmart store in Alpena three times in one night, stealing $6,000 worth of merchandise, Michigan State Police said Tuesday. Matthew Brown, 34, of Atlanta was charged Wednesday, May 22, in an Alpena district court with first-degree retail fraud. Atlanta is about 220 miles north of Detroit and located in Montmorency County. A judge set his bond at $10,000 and scheduled his next court appearance for Monday. If convicted of the charge, a felony, he faces up to five years in prison. Police said Brown first entered the Walmart at about 1:30 a.m. on March 22 and stole some electronic items. He dragged the items to his car, parked in the store's lot, loaded them in and drove away. But police say that wasn't the end of it. Brown allegedly returned to the store 20 minutes later, took more electronic items, put them in a shopping cart to make things easier and left without paying. Again, he loaded the items in his car and drove away, according to authorities. And Brown wasn't finished. "Brazenly, the subject returned to the store a third time" and took more merchandise without paying for it, officials said in a statement. Officials said items Brown allegedly took include three 50-65- inch TVs, a drone, an AT&T cellphone, a computer building kit, a flashlight, a Schwinn bicycle, a HP Pavilion Desktop computer, a PS4 racing wheel and a Western Digital 6TB hard drive. Troopers reviewed the store's security system footage and interviewed witnesses. They identified Brown as the suspect. Police visited Brown at his home in Montmorency County and found much of the stolen property. They also found items from the store in Brown's Saturn Vue. Troopers later arrested Brown at the Montmorency County Jail, where he was detained for unrelated charges. His next court appearance in scheduled in June, Michigan State Police said. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Sylvie Re: Link exchange DearWebby, I keep getting mail from people wanting me to exchange links with them. They promise that it would include traffic to my site. Is there any truth to that? Sylvie Dear Sylvie Quite the opposite. If the search engines catch you linking to those spam-sluts, then they penalize you and dump your hard earned ranking. Forget the rethoric and BS of the self styled Search Engine Optimizers. 99.99% of them are clueless con artists. The search engines spend very serious money to be relevant, to show what you are looking for, instead of showing some irrelevant garbage promoted by search engine "experts" trying to sneak around the rules. Just make sure your content is relevant and matches your site title, and you'll soon rank high in the search engines. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. One of my first assignments on a summer job at an auto-body shop was a car needing a new fender and some door repairs. I spent hours doing a perfect job, but when the owner came to pick it up, he wasn't pleased. "What's wrong?" I asked. Pointing to the side of the car, he complained about the paint not matching, uneven gaps between panels, and a host of other nitpicking little problems. He demanded an explanation and that it be re-done. "The repairs were to the other side," I noted. "You smashed in the passenger side, not the driver side. This side I only washed." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Three preachers decided to have a joint revival meeting. After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another. The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great for us! We gained four new families." The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that! We gained six new families." The Presbyterian pastor said, "Well, we did even better than that! We got rid of our ten biggest trouble makers!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Buying Clothing In The Off Season I buy my clothes the opposite of the season. I purchase my winter clothes in the summer and my summer clothes in the winter, this also goes for my shoes. Going to yard sales in the summer you can purchase both at very cheap prices. If a church is having a rummage sale go, because people donate nice things to a church. By Janice thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | Jaws on the water. I love Texas! |
___________________________________________________ The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers. He said, "Yes, I do. My father taught me." "Good. What comes after three?" asked the teacher. "Four," says little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven." "Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?" Little Johnny smiles and says, "A jack." ___________________________________________________ A perfectionist teacher demands the very best of all of her pupils. So it is only to be expected that she would get furious when one little fellow hands in a sloppily done homework paper. "This is the worst essay it has been my misfortune to read," the woman says through clenched teeth. "It has so many mistakes. I can't understand how one person could have made all these mistakes." "It wasn't just one person," the boy replies defensively. "My mom helped me." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not at all try to understand her. ___________________________________________________ | Today June 2 in 1537 Pope Paul III banned the enslavement of Indians. 1774 The Quartering Act, which required American colonists to allow British soldiers into their houses, was reenacted. That did not go over well at all. 1793 Maximillian Robespierre initiated the "Reign of Terror". It was an effort to purge those suspected of treason against the French Republic. 1818 The British army defeated the Maratha alliance in Bombay, India. 1835 P.T. Barnum launched his first traveling show. The main attraction was Joice Heth. Heth was reputed to be the 161-year- old nurse of George Washington. 1851 Maine became the first U.S. state to enact a law prohibiting alcohol. 1883 The first baseball game under electric lights was played in Fort Wayne, Indiana. 1896 Guglieimo Marconi's radio telegraphy device was patented in Great Britain. 1897 Mark Twain, at age 61, was quoted by the New York Journal as saying "the report of my death was an exaggeration." He was responding to the rumors that he had died. 1910 Charles Stewart Roll became the first person to fly non-stop and double cross the English Channel. 1924 All American Indians were granted U.S. citizenship by the U.S. Congress. 1928 Nationalist Chiang Kai-shek captured Peking, China. 1930 Mrs. M. Niezes of Panama gave birth to the first baby to be born on a ship while passing through the Panama Canal. 1933 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt accepted the first swimming pool to be built inside the White House. 1946 Italians voted by referendum to form a republic instead of a monarchy. 1953 Elizabeth was crowned queen of England at Westminster Abbey. 1954 U.S. Senator Joseph McCarthy charged that there were communists working in the CIA and atomic weapons plants. 1957 Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev was interviewed by CBS-TV. 1966 Surveyor 1, the U.S. space probe, landed on the moon and started sending photographs back to Earth of the Moon's surface. It was the first soft landing on the Moon. 1969 Australian aircraft carrier Melbourne sliced the destroyer USS Frank E. Evans in half off the shore of South Vietnam. 1979 Pope John Paul II arrived in his native Poland on the first visit by a pope to a Communist country. 1985 The R.J. Reynolds Company proposed a major merger with Nabisco that would create a $4.9 billion conglomerate. 1995 Captain Scott F. O'Grady's U.S. Air Force F-16C was shot down by Bosnian Serbs. He was rescued six days later. 1998 Royal Caribbean Cruises agreed to pay $9 million to settle charges of dumping waste at sea. 1998 Voters in California passed Proposition 227. The act abolished the state's 30-year-old bilingual education program by requiring that all children be taught in English. 1999 In South Africa, the African National Congress (ANC) won a major victory. ANC leader Thabo Mbeki was to succeed Nelson Mandela as the nation's president. 2003 In Seville, Spain, a chest containing the supposed remains of Christopher Columbus were exhumed for DNA tests to determine whether the bones were really those of the explorer. The tests were aimed at determining if Colombus was currently buried in Spain's Seville Cathedral or in Santo Domingo in the Dominican Republic. 2003 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that companies could not be sued under a trademark law for using information in the public domain without giving credit to the originator. The case had originated with 20th Century Fox against suing Dastar Corp. over their use of World War II footage. 2003 William Baily was reunited with two paintings he had left on a subway platform. One of the works was an original Picasso rendering of two male figures and a recreation of Picasso's "Guernica" by Sophie Matisse. Sophie Matisse was the great- granddaughter of Henri Matisse. 2019 Do smiled. |
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