Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, October 20 ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Naked Man Said He Did Musshrooms With Jesus _____________________________________________________ Today, October 20 in 1818 The U.S. and Great Britain established the boundary between the U.S. and Canada to be the 49th parallel. _____________________________________________________ Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) _____________________________________________________ During a friendly argument, a husband asked his wife why she married him in the first place. "I was just stupid," she teased. When he said he was happy to hear that, she requested an explanation. "People get divorced all the time because they fall out of love," he said. "But I've never heard of anybody falling out of stupid." _____________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________ A new addition to the periodic table of chemical elements Element Name: MAN Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: 180+ Physical properties: Solid at room temperature but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KID (Element: Child) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralizes by saturating with alcohol. Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command. Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell. ___________________________________________________  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  John Stefanopoulos, 41, Owensboro, Kentucky, USA 
 Naked Man Said He Did Musshrooms With Jesus 
 After breaking into a Kentucky home, a naked man explained to police that he had used mushrooms with Jesus and that they were playing a virtual reality video game together before his apprehension, police say. While en route to a 911 call about a male subject running down the roadway completely nude and hitting passing vehicles with his hands, cops early today got a second call about a residential burglary in progress in the same Owensboro neighborhood. Upon arriving at the home around 1:30 AM, officers encountered John Stefanopoulos standing in the residence. The 41-year-old Stefanopoulos--who does not live in the property--was completely nude and had a substantial amount of blood and mud on his body. When Stefanopoulos rushed cops after ignoring orders to get on the ground, he was tasered and handcuffed following a brief struggle. The front door of the home where Stefanopoulos was found had been forced open and there were holes punched in the drywall, blood smeared on several walls and windows of the residence, and several broken pieces of glass lying on the floor. It was after being read his rights that Stefanopoulos kept repeating that he used hallucinogenic mushrooms with Jesus, and that the duo had played a virtual reality video game. Seen above, Stefanopoulos was arrested for an assortment of offenses, including indecent exposure, burglary, public intoxication, and menacing. Stefanopoulos was alone when apprehended. Stefanopoulos works as a sales associate with an Owensboro realty firm, and he is also a licensed chiropractor.  
 No new questions, so here is a popular repeat: DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Walter RE: Line spacing in Open Office   Dear Webby, Hi Dear Webby, I have a question about how to set the line spacing in Open Office and went to their help site; they referred me to the "Context Menu." Where do I find that "Context Menu" or better yet as the preeminent man of knowledge and right answers can you tell me how to adjust the line spacing in Open Office. My sincerest thanks as always! Be well, live long, prosper, and Carpe Diem, Walter  Dear Walter You have to be IN Open Office or Office Libre Writer. Select the text you want to work with, then open the Format menu and choose "Paragraph." You can change the space before the selected paragraph, after the selected paragraph or between the selected lines to for ezanple 1 inch using the options under the Indents & Spacing tab. Click "OK" to confirm your settings. 1 inch is just an example. You can, of course, set any dimension. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man. "This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other. And so they haggled before the King, until he called for silence. "Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half." "Sounds good to me," said the first lady. But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him." The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The young man must marry the first woman's daughter," he proclaimed. "But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court. "Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law." ____________________________________________ Thanks to World Traveller Anita, some funny signs: Doctor's office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan: COOLES AND HATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF. ____________________________________________ Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories. --- Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - ) Arthur C Clarke was a fairly good SF writer, until he sidetracked himself with the "Ice Age Is Coming because of your muscle cars!" fad in the late 60's and early 70's. I told him he was full of shit and that the cycles would cause the climate to warm up soon enough. And guess what? Al Gore came up with Gullible Warming, and blamed that on your cars and your farting. Well, Gullible Warming is finished. We are back into the "Ice Age is coming because of YOUR cars!" fad. You can now recycle all of Arthur C Clarke's rethoric from the late 60's. ____________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today October 20 in 1803 The U.S. Senate approved the Louisiana Purchase. 1818 The U.S. and Great Britain established the boundary between the U.S. and Canada to be the 49th parallel. 1827 The Battle of Navarino took place during the Greek War for Independence. 1873 A Hippodrome was opened in New York City by showman Phineus T. (P.T.) Barnum. 1892 The city of Chicago dedicated the World's Columbian Exposition. 1903 A joint commission ruled in favor of the U.S. concerning a dispute over the boundary between Canada and the District of Alaska. 1910 A baseball with a cork center was used in a World Series game for the first time. 1930 "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes" debuted on NBC radio. 1935 Mao Zedong arrived in Hanoi after his Long March that took just over a year. He then set up the Chinese Communist Headquarters. 1942 Pierre Laval told the French laborers that they must serve in Germany. 1944 Allied forces invaded the Philippines. 1944 During World War II, the Yugoslav cities of Belgrade and Dubrovnik were liberated. 1947 Hollywood came under scrutiny as the House Un-American Activities Committee opened hearings into alleged Communist influence within the motion picture industry. 1952 The Mau Mau uprising against white settlers began in Kenya. 1968 Jackie Lee Bouvier Kennedy married Aristotle Onassis. 1979 The John F. Kennedy Library in Boston was dedicated. 1984 The U.S. State Department reduced the number of Americans assigned to the U.S. embassy in Beirut, Lebanon. 1994 The website WhiteHouse.gov was launched. They could not get whitehouse.com, because that belonged to a house of ill repute in Nevada. They were eventually taken over by the IRS and quickly went bankrupt. 1995 Britain, France and the U.S. announced a treaty that banned atomic blasts in the South Pacific. 2003 A 40-year-old man went over Niagara Falls without safety devices and survived. He was charged with illegally performing a stunt. 2009 European astronomers discover 32 exoplanets. 2020 Do smiled. 
 

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