Good Morning, Do, Today is Sunday, January 7 Have FUN! Dearwebby Thank you Cly6de!!! Thank You, Norm!! Todays Bonehead Award: Connecticut woman tried to snort white christmas in police HQ lghch Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, January 6 in 1540 King Henry VIII of England was married to Anne of Cleves, his fourth wife. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity. --- Frank Leahy That sums up Al Gore! ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ What is love? A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think: "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8 "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4 "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5 "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6 "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4 "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7 "Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8 "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!) "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6 "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7 "Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6 "My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6 "Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the very best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5 "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7 "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4 "I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4 "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7 "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. 'Cus people sometimes forget." Jessica - age 8 ____________________________________________________ The census taker knocked on an old lady's door. He asked her several questions and she answered all of them except one. She refused to tell him her age. "But everyone tells their age to the census taker," he said. "Did Miss Maisy Hill and Miss Daisy Hill tell you their ages?" she asked stubbornly. "Certainly," the census taker replied. Then the lady snapped, "Well, I'm the same age as they are." So, the census taker remarked: OK, I'll put down, "As old as the Hills." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ____________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work one day, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two." The husband started glowing with happiness. He kissed his wife and said, "Oh darling, this makes me the happiest person in the world." And she said, "I'm so happy you feel this way. I was worried that you wouldn't like my mother moving in." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nicole Hunter, 25, Ledyard Connecticut Connecticut woman tried to snort white christmas in police HQ While waiting to be booked for causing a disturbance on Christmas Day, the 25-year-old Connecticut resident removed some cocaine from her pocket and attempted to snort the drug inside the local police department, cops allege. Hunter was collared after Ledyard police received reports of a reckless driver behind the wheel of a Kia SUV. After cops located the suspect vehicle in Hunter's driveway, she allegedly became belligerent and charged at officers, resulting in her arrest. After being transported to Ledyard's police headquarters, Hunter--who was waiting to be searched--removed a bindle of cocaine from her pocket and sought to snort the white powder. Her attempt was unsuccessful, cops say. Pictured above, Hunter was charged with narcotics possession, disorderly conduct, and interfering with a police officers. Free on bond, Hunter is scheduled for a January 8 court appearance. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sharon Re: USB cables connected Dear Webby, Dear Webby, Thanks for the fun letter! I finally did invest in a digital camera. Have just begun to read the book. I have 2 questions. 1) Would it be ok to connect the usb cable to the pc & leave it plugged in even when not connected to the camera? My connection is at the base of the pc which is on the floor & it is sometimes difficult to get down to connect it. 2) I haven't tried sending the pic to the pc yet so I can email them to family & friends but am curious as to what size would good to send. Some pics I have received have are so big they seem to take so long to download. Any size suggestions? Thanks so much for your help. This will be a new experience for me. Sharon Dear Sharon Yes, sure you can leave the cable plugged into the PC. Just put the open end into a cup, in case any electrons drip out. Just kidding about anything dripping out, but it's a good idea to put the open end into an empty bud vase or a pencil cup or anything that will securely hold it on the desk. If it falls down on the floor and you drive over the cable end with your chair, the cable is ruined. The best size for mailing pictures is the size I use in the Humor Letter: 600 pixels wide. You can always tell them that, if they want a bigger size for printing it out to specify what size they want. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A child was on his first visit to the country at his grandparents' ranch and feeding the chickens fascinated him. Early one morning he caught his first glimpse of a peacock strutting in the yard. He rushed into the house, where his grandmother was making breakfast and screamed, "Grandma, come and see! One of the chickens is in bloom!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Johnnie's Teacher paid a visit to his house one day. When little Johnny opened the door, she asked "Johnnie, are your father and mother in?" "They was in, but they is out." he answered. The teacher gasped, "Why, Johnnie, it is 'They were in, they are out' Where's your grammar?" "She's in jail. Mom and dad is gone to bail her out" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com The Benefits of Buying Used Cars You can save a bundle on your next car purchase by buying a used car. One of the common concerns I hear from people about used cars is that they will require expensive repairs sooner than new cars. There is no question that repair bills can be outrageously expensive but here's one way to look at it. If a new car costs you $15,000 (or more) and a five year old version of the same car costs $5,000, the difference in price leaves you a lot of room to make repairs and still come out on top. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com font> ____________________________________________________ Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around with other women," she charged. "You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve. "What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded. "Counting your ribs," said Eve. | | Incredible art work from a pencil! |
Thanks to Phil for this report: My boss wanted a "Clean Desk" policy, so he sent a memo saying that any paper left on desks would be removed at night and we would have to fill out a form to get it back. So we left all our garbage paper on our desks every night. next day, the boss had an office full of garbage, and we never heard about the policy again. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, January 7, in 1558 Calais, the last English possession on mainland France, was recaptured by the French. 1610 Galileo Galilei found four of Jupiter's moons. He named them Io, Europa, Ganymede, and Callisto. They have since been misplaced and you can't find them any more. 1782 The Bank of North America opened in Philadelphia. It was the first commercial bank in the United States. 1785 French aeronaut/balloonist Jean-Pierre Blanchard successfully made the first air-crossing of the English Channel from the English coast to France. 1789 Americans voted for the electors that would choose George Washington to be the first U.S. president. 1887 Thomas Stevens completed the first worldwide bicycle trip. He started his trip in April 1884. Stevens and his bike traveled 13,500 miles in almost three years time. 1894 W.K. Dickson received a patent for motion picture film. 1896 The "Fannie Farmer Cookbook" was published. 1904 The distress signal "CQD" was established. Two years later "SOS" became the radio distress signal because it was quicker to send by wireless radio. 1927 Transatlantic telephone service began between New York and London. 31 calls were made on this first day. 1927 In Hinckley IL, the Harlem Globetrotters played their first game. 1929 The debut of "Buck Rogers 2429 A.D." occurred in newspapers around the U.S. The title of the comic strip was later changed to "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century." 1932 Chancellor Heinrich Brning declared that Germany cannot, and will not, resume reparations payments. 1935 French Foreign Minister Pierre Laval and Italian Prime Minister Benito Mussolini signed the Italo-French agreements. 1940 "Gene Autry's Melody Ranch" debuted on CBS Radio. The show aired for 16 years. 1941 The NBC Blue radio network presented "The Squeaky Door" for the first time. The show was later known as "Inner Sanctum." 1942 The World War II siege of Bataan began. 1949 The announcement of the first photograph of genes was shown at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles. 1953 U.S. President Harry Truman announced the development of the hydrogen bomb. 1954 The Duoscopic TV receiver was unveiled this day. The TV set allowed the watching of two different shows at the same time. 1959 The United States recognized Fidel Castro's new government in Cuba. 1975 OPEC agreed to raise crude oil prices by 10%, which began a time of world economic inflation. 1979 Vietnamese forces captured the Cambodian capital of Phnom Penh, overthrowing the Khmer Rouge government. 1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter signed legislation that authorized $1.5 billion in loans for the bail out of Chrysler Corp. 1989 Crown Prince Akihito became the emperor of Japan following the death of his father, Emperor Hirohito. 1990 The Leaning Tower of Pisa was closed to the public. The accelerated rate of "leaning" raised fears for the safety of its visitors. 1996 Alvaro Arzu was elected president of Guatemala. 1996 One of the biggest blizzards in U.S. history hit the eastern states. More than 100 deaths were later blamed on the severe weather. 1998 Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky signed an affidavit denying that she had an affair with U.S. President Clinton. 1999 U.S. President Clinton went on trial before the Senate. It was only the second time in U.S. history that an impeached president had gone to trial. Clinton was later acquitted of perjury and obstruction of justice charges. 2002 Microsoft Corp. chairman Bill Gates introduced a new device code named Mira. The device was tablet-like and was a cross between a handheld computer and a TV remote control. 2009 Russia shut off all gas supplies to Europe through Ukraine. Prime Minister Vladimir Putin publicly endorsed the move and urged greater international involvement in the energy dispute. 2018 Do smiled. |
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