Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, February 13 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Tiktoker finally gets Gorilla Glue out of her hair ___________________________________________________ Today, February 12 in 1945 During World War II, Allied aircraft began bombing the German city of Dresden and reduced it to rubble. ____________________________________________________ Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is? --- Frank Scully You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try. --- Beverly Sills (1929 - ) ____________________________________________________ An FBI agent was talking to a bank teller after the bank had been robbed for the third time by the same bandit. "Did you notice anything special about the man?" he asked. "Yes, he seems to be better dressed each time," the teller replied. ____________________________________________________ A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day she goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband. "Hi hun," he says, "how do you like your new phone?" She replies, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand though." "What's that, baby?" asks the husband. "How did you know I was at Walmart?" ____________________________________________________ Mercedes Martha-Francis ___________________________________________________ The weather was very hot and pastor Fred wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. Having forgotten to pack a swimming suit, he chose to skinny dip. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of middle-aged ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket lying in the sand nearby. He strategically positioned the bucket and sighed with relief. The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said: "You know, I have a special gift, I can read minds." "Impossible," said the embarrassed pastor. "You can't really know what I think!" She said: "Yes, I do know. Right now I bet you think that the bucket you're holding has a bottom." __________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Tessica Brown, St. Bernard Parish, Louisiana, USA Tiktoker finally gets Gorilla Glue out of her hair Tessica Brown is finally unstuck. The Louisiana mom and teacher endured weeks of pain and at least one week of international scrutiny after she had the misfortune of placing construction-level glue in her hair. The Gorilla Glue hardened her hair to the point that she could not wash it out after attempting to use home remedies, glue remover and other elixirs. Her tribulation became a feast for public consumption when she posted on TikTok and Instagram about her inability to dissolve the glue and style her hair. A Beverly Hills plastic surgeon volunteered to help Brown, according to TMZ. Dr. Michael Obeng conducted a procedure to fix her seemingly insoluble mane mishap Wednesday. The procedure, which would cost about $12,000, was done for free for the viral social media personality, according to the report. Jesus Christ, I can scratch it, she said in video taken after her procedure. ...Its over, over, over. Last week, Brown had attempted medical care at a local hospital, St. Bernard Parish Hospital, but she could not find proper relief, she told Canadian radio station Kiss 92.5. In her interview on the Roz & Mocha show, Brown detailed how the staff at the hospital emergency room used nail polish remover and saline water to try to loosen her hair follicles. She said the process started to burn, and it led to other health concerns. It burned so bad my heart started beating too fast, she recounted, adding that she checked herself out of the hospital rather than endure a 20-hour process to dilute the glue from her hair. She and her family had been working to use the solution at home without much success. However, she and her sister were able to detach the weave ponytail, which she had been attempting to secure with Gorilla Glue. A GoFundMe was established last week to attend to her ongoing medical needs. The pages goal was $1,500, but she has raised more than $20,000. Its unclear what the money will be used for because the latest procedure was done at no cost to her. In the video, she said she was eager to get her hair styled. Brown revealed she needed a new do for her Valentines Day date. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Joy Re: Icons kidnapped Dear Webby I let Gramma send some postcards from my computer, and now it's haunted! I had all my work icons arranged just right along the left margin, nice and tight in clusters for different projects, some of them slightly overlapping to save space but still accessible. Now they are all in rigid formation, all apart, and when I drag them to where they shold be, they jump back! HELP! Joy Dear Joy Gramma seems to have accidentally turned on "Auto-Arrange", one of the least useful features as far as power users are concerned. Just right-click on any blank area on the desktop, choose ARRANGE ICONS, and take the checkmark off "Auto-Arrange". Done. Now they will stay where you put them. Have FUN! DearWebby A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. "But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it." "This is my position, and I will not compromise!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ I boarded the train and took my seat. The seat next to me was empty, but not for long. A mother boarded with her 5- year-old daughter sat down in the seat beside me. I offered my seat to the little girl but Mom said no, she'd sit the young one on her lap. So here I am holding my roses, now with a little lady straining to see what I was holding. "What ya got, mister?" she asked. (Mom is getting a bit flustered and tells her to mind her business.) I leaned the "package" over a bit and she looks and says loudly, "Ohhhh, ROSES!, who are they for?" (Now, Mom is embarrassed and tapping her on the rear telling her to sit down.) I said, "They're for my girlfriend". She says again with a loud voice, "WOW, pretty RED ones, and a lot of them, too! Man, you really must have f***ed up!" Needless to say, nearly everyone on the train was in stitches, except her Mom, who was now desperately trying to assume an innocent shade of invisible. ____________________________________________ An old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes, I can't see very well these days." The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed. Doc says, "What's the problem? Didn't the glasses help you?" "The glasses are fine doc, but I just discovered I've been living with a garden hose the past 2 years!" ____________________________________________ A little girl was playing quietly while her mom and another lady friend were talking. The little girl let out a big fart. Her mother said "What do you say Suzy?", expecting the reply, "Excuse me." What the little girl said instead was: "Watch out, here comes another one!" ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today February 13 in 1542 Catherine Howard was executed for adultery. She was the fifth wife of England's King Henry VIII. 1633 Galileo Galilei arrived in Rome for trial before the Inquisition. 1741 "The American Magazine," the first magazine in the U.S., was published in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 1880 Thomas Edison observed what became known as the Edison Effect for the first time. 1900 The Anglo-German accord of 1899 was ratified by Reichstag, in which Britain renounced rights in Samoa in favor of Germany and the U.S. 1920 The League of Nations recognized the continued neutrality of Switzerland. 1935 In Flemington, New Jersey, a jury found Bruno Richard Hauptmann guilty of the kidnapping and death of the infant son of Charles and Anne Lindbergh. Hauptmann was later executed for the crimes. 1945 At the end of World War II, the Soviets captured Budapest, Hungary, from the German army. 1945 During World War II, Allied aircraft began bombing the German city of Dresden and reduced it to rubble. 1955 Israel acquired 4 of the 7 Dead Sea scrolls. 1960 France detonated its first atomic bomb. 1971 South Vietnamese troops invaded Laos. They were backed by U.S. air and artillery support. 1984 Konstantin Chernenko was chosen to be general secretary of the Soviet Communist Party's Central Committee, succeeding the late Yuri Andropov. 1990 In Ottawa, the United States and its European allies forged an agreement with the Soviet Union and East Germany on a two-stage formula to reunite Germany. 1991 Hundreds of Iraqis were killed by two laser-guided bombs that destroyed an underground facility in Baghdad. U.S. officials identified the facility as a military installation, but Iraqi officials said it was a bomb shelter. 1997 Astronauts on the space shuttle Discovery brought the Hubble Space Telescope aboard for a tune up. The tune up allowed the telescope to see further into the universe. 1999 A bomb exploded just outside a government-owned bank in southern Kosovo. Nine people were killed. 2000 Charles M. Schulz's last original Sunday "Peanuts" comic strip appeared in newspapers. Schulz had died the day before. 2001 El Savador was hit with an earthquake that measured 6.6 on the Richter Scale. At least 400 people were killed. 2002 In Alexandria, VA, John Walker Lindh pled innocent to a 10-count federal indictment. He was charged with conspiring to kill Americans and aiding Osama bin Laden's terrorist network. 2002 Former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani received an honorary knighthood from Queen Elizabeth II. 2008 Roger Clemens denied having taken performance- enhancing drugs in testimony before Congress. 2008 Hollywood writers ended a 100-day strike. 2021 Do smiled. |
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