Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, Sept 22 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ Q Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. --- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006) Skepticism, like chastity, should not be relinquished too readily. --- George Santayana (1863 - 1952) I have such poor vision I can date anybody. --- Garry Shandling (1949 - ) Yeah, me too. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Mother of Virginia 6-year-old who shot his teacher to be jailed for failing drug tests ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ History on this day, Sept 22, in 1914, Three British cruisers were sunk by one German submarine in the North Sea. 1,400 British sailors were killed. This event alerted the British to the effectiveness of the submarine. ____________________________________________________ How often have we heard that television watching can be detrimental? A pastor carried that message one Sunday morning in an impassioned sermon on the evils of TV. "It steals away precious time that could be better spent on other things," he said. He advised the congregation to do what he and his family had done. "We put our TV away in the closet." "That's right," his wife muttered to the woman next to her, "and it gets awfully crowded in there!" __________________________________________________ Arches, Az __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Consider the respected church leader who arrives in a large city to deliver a series of speeches. At a banquet the first evening, he notices some reporters in the audience. Because he wants to use some of the stories he tells that night in his talks the next day, the minister asks the reporters to omit them from their articles. Unfortunately, one newspaper had sent a cub reporter. In his story, he outlines the minister's talk. His final paragraph: "The minister also told a number of stories that cannot be printed." ___________________________________________________ With more people traveling, the airlines seem to have more problems keeping passengers happy. At the end of one flight, however, one smiling, very satisfied fellow pauses to congratulate the flight attendant. "I want to compliment you and the crew and especially the captain for getting here right on time," he says. "It's not often anymore that an airline gets to where it's going exactly when they claim it will. I'm going to call your home office and let them know how pleased I am." "Why, thank you, sir," the flight attendant answers, "but I think you should know -- this is yesterday's flight." __________________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for sending me this picture: Ceiling over St. Mary's Altar, Krakow,Poland _____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Keyboard shortcuts Dear Webby You had some nifty keyboard tricks at one time. Can you run them again, please? Thanks! Frank Dear Frank Try (W) Windows key and Pause for your machine inventory and Control Panel (W) E Explore your hard drive (W) C Control Panel (W) D bare Desktop. Don't worry, just hit it again and all the open stuff returns. (W) D is called the BOSS key, you hit that to hide the games you were playing when you hear the boss approaching. ALT Tab move between windows ALT and SpaceBar Launchy If you haven't got Launchy, it is at https://www.launchy.net/download.php It launches programs without having to hunt and search for their icon. ALT Spacebar it shows you Chrome, hit Enter and it launches it. If you prefer fast keyboard action over slow mousing around, you will love it! You can also use it as an adding machine, that shows a ribbon of your input. For a lot of simple stuff, there is no need to start a spreadsheet. The cost is on the honour system, like the Humor Letter. If you are fortunate enough to have a dollar or five left over, donate. But you can download it and use it and just make a small donation when you clean out the sofa. Have FUN! DearWebby ________________________________________________ Consider the man who told all his friends about a delicious steak dinner he'd eaten in a new restaurant the day before. The steak was big and picture-perfect, done to perfection. So a group of his friends decided to see if it was that good, and took the man along as their guest. Much to everyone's disappointment, the waiter brought the tiniest steaks they'd ever seen, overcooked and dry. "See here," the man said to the waiter. "I was in this restaurant yesterday and you served me a big juicy steak, and now today, when I've organized a party, you serve such a shriveled up, overcooked one." "Yes, sir," replied the waiter. "But yesterday you were sitting by the window." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ An assistant to Nancy Pelosi told her she had a fantastic dream last night There was a humongous parade in Washington celebrating Pelosi. Millions lined the parade route, cheering when Nancy went past. Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere. It was the biggest celebration Washington had ever seen. Nancy was very impressed and said, "That's really great! By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay? Her assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed. _______________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Deja Taylor, 25, NEWPORT NEWS, Virginia, USA Mother of Virginia 6-year-old who shot his teacher to be jailed for failing drug tests Deja Taylor, 25, turned herself in and was charged with child neglect and recklessly leaving a loaded firearm to endanger a child. The mother of a 6-year-old who shot his teacher in Virginia could be jailed Thursday for failing drug tests while awaiting sentencing on federal weapons charges that she used marijuana while possessing a firearm. A bond revocation hearing is set in federal court in Newport News for Deja Taylor. Her son used her gun to shoot Abby Zwerner in her classroom in January. The first-grade teacher was seriously wounded and has endured multiple surgeries. Taylor pleaded guilty in June to using marijuana while possessing a firearm. Authorities say she also lied about her drug use on a federal background check form when she bought the gun that her son brought to school. A judge had set an October sentencing date and released Taylor on bond under the conditions that she submit to drug tests and receive addiction treatment. But Taylor has twice tested positive for marijuana and once for cocaine, federal prosecutors wrote in a filing with the court this month. She also missed two drug tests and two drug treatment sessions, they said. The mother of a 6-year-old who shot his teacher in Virginia could be jailed Thursday for failing drug tests while awaiting sentencing on federal weapons charges that she used marijuana while possessing a firearm. A bond revocation hearing is set in federal court in Newport News for Deja Taylor. Her son used her gun to shoot Abby Zwerner in her classroom in January. The first-grade teacher was seriously wounded and has endured multiple surgeries. Taylor pleaded guilty in June to using marijuana while possessing a firearm. Authorities say she also lied about her drug use on a federal background check form when she bought the gun that her son brought to school. A judge had set an October sentencing date and released Taylor on bond under the conditions that she submit to drug tests and receive addiction treatment. But Taylor has twice tested positive for marijuana and once for cocaine, federal prosecutors wrote in a filing with the court this month. She also missed two drug tests and two drug treatment sessions, they said. Virginia 6-year-old said I did it after shooting his teacher at school, warrants say In the moments after a 6-year-old shot his teacher in a Virginia classroom last January, the boy made statements including "I shot that (expletive) dead," and "I did it. I got my moms gun last night," according to recently unsealed police search warrants. Meanwhile, Taylor still faces sentencing for a state charge of felony child neglect, which was filed after the shooting. It is scheduled for Oct. 27. In that case, prosecutors agreed to ask for a sentence that falls within state guidelines, expected to be no more than six months. Prosecutors also agreed to drop a misdemeanor charge of reckless storage of a firearm. Zwerner, the teacher who was shot, is suing the school system for $40 million. She accuses school administrators of gross negligence and of ignoring multiple warnings the day of the shooting that the boy had a gun at school. _____________________________________________________ Consider the fellow who was working on a painting of a beautiful young woman. Try as he might, he tried to concentrate on his work, but he was attracted to his model. Finally, he could resist no longer. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms and kissed her. She pushed him away. "Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she said, "But not this one." "But I've never tried to kiss a model before," he swore. "Really," she said, softening. "How many models have there been?" "Four," he replied. "A jug, two apples and a vase." __________________________________________________ On a bulletin board: Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The Relatives. When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking... I Gave Up Reading Sign In A Bar: 'Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay In Advance.' Sign In Driving School: If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way... Behind Every Great Man, There Is A Surprised Woman Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You Sleep Alone The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us. _______________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man says, "I do Father." The priest says, "Then leave this pub right now!" and approaches a second man. "Do you want to got to heaven?" "Certainly, Father," is the man's reply. "Then leave this den of Satan," says the priest, and he walks up to O'Toole. "Do you want to go to heaven?" "No, I don't Father," O'Toole replies. The priest looked him right in the eye, and said, "You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?" O'Toole smiles, "Oh, when I die, yes, Father. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now." ___________________________________________ The mother of a problem child complained to the pediatrician that she was on the go constantly trying to ward off the little boy's next misadventure. The pediatrician prescribed tranquilizers for her and on her next visit he asked whether they had helped calm her. "Yes" the mother answered. "And how is your son now?" he asked. "Who cares?" she replied. __________________________________________________ History Today Sept 22, Do smiled. 1789, The U.S. Congress authorized the office of Postmaster General. 1792, The French Republic was proclaimed. 1862, U.S. President Lincoln issued the preliminary Emancipation Proclamation. It stated that all slaves held within rebel states would be free as of January 1, 1863. 1903, Italo Marchiony was granted a patent for the ice cream cone. 1914, Three British cruisers were sunk by one German submarine in the North Sea. 1,400 British sailors were killed. This event alerted the British to the effectiveness of the submarine. 1927, In Chicago, IL, Gene Tunney successfully defended his heavyweight boxing title against Jack Dempsey in the famous "long-count" fight. 1949, The Soviet Union exploded its first atomic bomb successfully. 1955, Commercial television began in Great Britain. The rules said that only six minutes of ads were allowed each hour and there was no Sunday morning TV permitted. 1961, U.S. President John F. Kennedy signed a congressional act that established the Peace Corps. 1964, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E." debuted on NBC-TV. 1966, The U.S. lunar probe Surveyor 2 crashed into the moon. 1980, A border conflict between Iran and Iraq developed into a full-scale war. 1986, U.S. President Ronald Reagan addressed the U.N. General Assembly and voiced a new hope for arms control. He also criticized the Soviet Union for arresting U.S. journalist Nicholas Daniloff. 1988, Canada's government apologized for the internment of Japanese-Canadian's during World War II. They also promised compensation. 1990, Saudi Arabia expelled most of the Yememin and Jordanian envoys in Riyadh. The Saudi accusations were unspecific. 1991, An article in the London newspaper "The Mail" revealed that John Cairncross admitted to being the "fifth man" in the Soviet Union's British spy ring. 1992, The U.N. General Assembly expelled Yugoslavia for its role in the war between Bosnia and Herzegovina. 1994, The U.S. upgraded its military control in Haiti. 1998, The U.S. and Russia signed two agreements. One was to privatize Russia's nuclear program and the other was to stop plutonium stockpiles and nuclear scientists from leaving the country. 1998, U.S. President Clinton addressed the United Nations and told world leaders to "end all nuclear tests for all time". He then sent the long-delayed global test-ban treaty to the U.S. Senate. 2023, Do! smiled. Have FUN DearWebby
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