Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, April 14 ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Suspect could be released despite repeated extreme DUI, Kerman father killed ___________________________________________________ On April 14 in 1988, Representatives from the U.S.S.R., Pakistan, Afghanistan and the U.S. signed an agreement that called for the withdrawal of Soviet forces from Afghanistan starting on May 15. The last Soviet troop left Afghanistan on February 15, 1989. They did not leave one tea bag behind. __________________________________________________ A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of. --- Burt Bacharach (1928 - ) To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent. --- Robert Copeland Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned. --- Milton Friedman (1912 - 2006) ____________________________________________________ Doc Smith placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," he instructed her. "Yeth, they uthed to be," remorsed the patient. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Teacher: If you had $10.00 and you asked your father for another 10, how many dollars would you have. Little Johnny: "I would have $10.00!" Teacher: "You don't know your arithmetic." Little Johnny: "You don't know my father!" ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A keynote speaker at a convention came to the podium, shuffled his notes, scanned his audience to make eye contact, and said, thoughtfully: "Where to begin? Where to begin?" A voice in the crowded hall yelled: "As close to the end as possible!!" ____________________________________________________ Admitting dean to mother of prospective student: "Does your son have any kind of behaviour problem?" Mother: " I wouldn't know. Ive never seen him behaving." ___________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Zdeineb Juarez Calderon, 22, Fresno, California, USA Suspect could be released despite repeated extreme DUI, Kerman father killed The 22-year-old woman charged with driving drunk and killing a Kerman father pleaded not guilty Tuesday and now there's a battle brewing over whether she should get out of jail. The deadly crash led to the woman's second arrest in two months involving extreme drunk driving. Suspect could be released despite repeated extreme DUI, Kerman father killed The 22-year-old woman charged with driving drunk and killing a Kerman father pleaded not guilty Tuesday and now there's a battle brewing over whether she should get out of jail. FRESNO, Calif. (KFSN) -- The 22-year-old woman charged with driving drunk and killing a Kerman father pleaded not guilty Tuesday and now there's a battle brewing over whether she should get out of jail. The deadly crash led to the woman's second arrest in two months involving extreme drunk driving. And yet, she could get out of jail this month without even posting bail. Jeff Nazaroff didn't have a chance. The 59-year-old had the right-of-way and his dump truck was about 500 feet away from its home base when a Jeep ran a stop sign, knocked him into a tree and ended his life. CHP officers arrested Zdeineb Juarez Calderon after the crash Thursday. "Ms. Juarez Calderon will enter a plea of not guilty to all charges and denial to any and all enhancements," said defense attorney Melissa Baloian. Calderon wore a green jail jumpsuit Tuesday as she made her first court appearance. The case against her combines allegations from Thursday's deadly crash and another drunk driving incident in February. She hit something both times and had a BAC measured at .30 in February and .25 last week - at least three times the legal limit for drivers in both cases. She doesn't have a driver's license and after the first DUI, the CHP revoked her privilege of getting one. "It surprises me that she didn't have a license at all and she's in the car and then driving a second time under the influence without a license," said legal analyst Tony Capozzi. "That's aggravating circumstances. That's egregious conduct." And yet, she could get out of jail without posting any bond -- on her own recognizance, or OR. "There is a public safety assessment that was prepared by probation and they are recommending OR," said Judge Jonathan Skiles. Capozzi says he doesn't expect a judge to release Calderon without posting a bond. But the California Supreme Court has ruled everybody is entitled to bail unless they're a danger to the public. "In this particular case, with a .30 just months ago and now a .25 and she killed someone, it's pretty clear she's a danger to the public," Capozzi said. At the next hearing in two weeks, prosecutors will make the case for keeping Calderon in jail and even raising her bail above its current $188,000. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Dennis Re: Kamo Dear Webby What does Kamo in CCleaner do? They are trying to sell it in renewal package. Also what are Trackers that CCleaner cleans when running CCleaner? Thank You Dear Dennis Malwarebytes is enough. I used to use CrapCleaner too, and for decades even recommended it. However, after AVG bought it, it went downhill fast and I won't recommend it anymore. You can get System Ninja or Wise Disk Cleaner, but unless you are really paranoid, you won't need them. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! __________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
Please donate a dollar,
or two, if you can afford it!
Please, help me stay online!
|
_____________________________________________ After the lecture, the speaker invited questions from the floor. "I'll hear first from the blonde lady in the front row," he announced but there was no response. Finally realizing all eyes were on her, the blonde lady spoke up. "I didn't know you meant me. I've only been a blonde since yesterday." ______________________________________________ Upon returning to their car from a shopping tour, one of the five young ladies realised that she had forgotten to stop at the pharmacy for her birth control pills. She rushed into the nearest pharmacy and gave her prescription to the pharmacist. "Please fill this immediately," she asked. "I've got four people waiting in my car!" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they a come a together. I come again. Two asses, they come a together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a- more." "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola da down lady," said the man. Imma just tella my friend, da bishop, how to spella Mississippi." ___________________________________________________ | Today, April 14, in 1775, The first abolitionist society in U.S. was organized in Philadelphia with Ben Franklin as president. 1793, A royalist rebellion in Santo Domingo was crushed by French republican troops. 1828, The first edition of Noah Webster's dictionary was published under the name "American Dictionary of the English Language." 1860, The first Pony Express rider arrived in San Francisco with mail originating in St. Joseph, MO. 1865, U.S. President Abraham Lincoln was assassinated in Ford's Theater by John Wilkes Booth. He actually died early the next morning. 1889, The first international Conference of American States began in Washington, DC. 1894, First public showing of Thomas Edison's kinetoscope took place. 1902, James Cash (J.C.) Penney opened his first retail store in Kemmerer, WY. It was called the Golden Rule Store. 1912, The Atlantic passenger liner Titanic, on its maiden voyage hit an iceberg and began to sink. 1,517 people lost their lives and more than 700 survived. 1918, The U.S. First Aero Squadron engaged in America's first aerial dogfight with enemy aircraft over Toul, France. 1931, King Alfonso XIII of Spain went into exile and the Spanish Republic was proclaimed. 1939, The John Steinbeck novel "The Grapes of Wrath" was first published. 1946, The civil war between Communists and nationalist resumed in China. 1953, Viet Minh invaded Laos with 40,00 troops. 1956, Ampex Corporation of Redwood City, CA, demonstrated the first commercial magnetic tape recorder for sound and picture. 1959, The Taft Memorial Bell Tower was dedicated in Washington, DC. 1981, America's first space shuttle, Columbia, returned to Earth after a three-day test flight. The shuttle orbited the Earth 36 times during the mission. 1984, The Texas Board of Education began requiring that the state's public school textbooks describe the evolution of human beings as "theory rather than fact". 1986, U.S. President Reagan announced the U.S. air raid on military and terrorist related targets in Libya. 1987, Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev proposed banning all missiles from Europe. 1988, Representatives from the U.S.S.R., Pakistan, Afghanistan and the U.S. signed an agreement that called for the withdrawal of Soviet forces from Afghanistan starting on May 15. The last Soviet troop left Afghanistan on February 15, 1989. They did not leave one tea bag behind. 1988, In New York, real estate tycoons Harry and Leona Helmsley were indicted for income tax evasion. 1994, Two American F-15 warplanes inadvertently shot down two U.S. helicopters over northern Iraq. 26 people were killed including 15 Americans. 1998, The state of Virginia ignored the requests from the World Court and executed a Paraguayan for the murder of a U.S. woman. 1999, Pakistan test-fired a ballistic missile that was capable of carrying a nuclear warhead and reaching its rival neighbor India. 2000, After five years of deadlock, Russia approved the START II treaty that calls for the scrapping of U.S. and Russian nuclear warheads. The Russian government warned it would abandon all arms-control pacts if Washington continued with an anti-missile system. 2002, U.S. President George W. Bush sent a letter of congratulations to JCPenny's associates for being in business for 100 years. James Cash (J.C.) Penney had opened his first retail store on April 14, 1902. 2002, Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez returned to office two days after being arrested by his country's military. 2008, Delta Air Lines and Northwest Airlines announced they were combining. 2022 Do smiled. |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to [email protected]
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
[email protected]
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter | . |
