Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, July 1 Happy Canada Day! THANK YOU MOE!!! ___________________________________________________ Today, July 1 in 1867 Canada became an independent dominion. _____________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Bronx parolee arrested for rape and beating, said white victim deserved it because us minorities have been through slavery ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________________ There are two ways to slide easily through life; to believe everything or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking. --- Alfred Korzybski (1879 - 1950) _____________________________________________________ >From Mona While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of a lingerie store caught my eye. "Do you think Daddy would like this?" I asked the kids, as I pointed to the lacy pijamas with matching robe. "No way," my horrified six-year-old son replied. "Daddy would NEVER wear that!" _____________________________________________________ Grant Funded Quarantine Treehouse ___________________________________________________ Success depends on your age | ~~~~~~~ | - consider the following: At age 4, success is not peeing in your pants At age 18, success is "gettin' a little" At age 25, success is graduation and a wedding At age 35, success is about career and family At age 55, success is about graduations and weddings At age 65, success is "gettin' a little" At age 90, success is not peeing in your pants ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Temar Bishop, 23, Bronx, New York, USA Bronx parolee arrested for rape and beating, said white victim deserved it because us minorities have been through slavery A black Bronx parolee accused last year of brutally beating and raping a 20-year-old white woman who then told a friend she deserved it because of slavery has been arrested, according to court documents. The New York Post reported June 3, 2019 that police began searching for 23-year-old Temar Bishop following an alleged attack and sexual assault after he and the victim reportedly met and ended up hanging out with some friends on the rooftop of an apartment complex in Mott Haven. At one point, police said, Bishop allegedly struck the victim in the face several times and then raped her, according to police. Following the sexual assault, Bishop then allegedly punched and kicked the victim in her head and body until she eventually went unconscious in an attack that one Special Victims Division investigator said was one of the worst hes ever seen, one NYPD source told the Post. The victim was left with a fractured nose and several lacerations to her face and had to be treated at a local hospital. The Post reported that Bishop has been arrested before. He was booked twice in 2016 for robbing a store and was sentenced to the Altona Correctional Facility for third- degree robbery shortly thereafter. He was paroled after a little more than a year on July 9, 2018. Police in Virginia caught up to and arrested Bishop last Friday. According to Law Enforcement Today, which cited court documents, Bishop told a witness to the alleged rape and beating after the fact, She was a white girl. She deserved it because us minorities have been through slavery. This is what they used to do to us. This is what they did to us during slavery. They used to beat us and whip us, Bishop added, according to the criminal complaint. Authorities have filed an assortment of charges against Bishop over the alleged rape and assault that took place June 1. They are also considering the attack and rape a hate crime. Law Enforcement Today noted that, according to court documents, Bishop ran off after the victim went unconscious but returned a short while later with an unnamed witness who told police he saw the woman laying on the roof with blood covering her face. It is then when Bishop allegedly made his comments about slavery. Bishop was arraigned in Bronx court on Saturday, where he was ordered held without bail, LET reported. Hes charged with two counts of predatory sexual assault, attempted murder, rape, two counts of assault, sexual abuse, assault and a hate crime. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Helen Re: Jury duty call DearWebby, I got a phone call claiming that I was supposed to show up for jury duty after I had supposedly gotten a notice in the mail and that I would be arrested if I could not verify that I am me. I vaguely remembered that you had mentioned that a few years ago, and thought I remembered you recommending to tell them to "go suck a billy goat". So I told them exactly that and grabbed my squeaky duck, and let them have a ferocious squeak before slamming the phone onto the table. I was fairly sure I remembered your advice correctly, but when I told a friend and warned her, she thought it could have been legit. Who was right? Me or her? Helen dear helen nothing wrong with your memory! You were absolutely right. Please kiss your squeaky duck for me. Any scammer asking for any personal information, needs to hear your duck. The only exception is your credit card company, after you call them to change your pin number or request a new card. In that specific case, after you had called them, you can tell them your info. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A police officer pulls a man over for speeding. As the officer approaches the car he can see that the man is very anxious about something. "Good afternoon Sir. Do you know why I stopped you?" "Yes, officer... I know I was speeding--but it is a matter of life or death." "Oh, really? How's that?" "There's a naked woman waiting for me at home." "I don't see how that is a matter of life or death." "If I don't get home before my wife does, I'm a dead man." _____________________________________________ Weird Sex Laws. [Now I don't know how many of these are still being enforced, but I am going to be a lot more careful when traveling in the USA in the future!] In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day. No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth. Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you -- or holding you in his arms. Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if they're nude. (Apparently, if you wear socks, you're safe from the law!) In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make love on the floor between the beds! The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts. An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer! A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts. In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can't go out without wearing a corset. (There was a civil-service job -- for men only - - called a corset inspector.) However, in Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male." It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate. Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing. (Now you know why they are wearing steel toe work boots! Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term. In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in. A Florida sex law: If you're a single, divorced, or widowed woman, you can't parachute on Sunday afternoons. Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio -- a man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!" No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged with a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be published in the local newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed. ____________________________________________ The Governor made room on his busy calendar to hear the pleads of one Senora Rodriguez that her husband be released from the state penitentiary. "What was he sentenced for?" asked the Governor gently. "For stealing bread," replied the offender's wife, nervously fingering her mantilla. "Is he a good husband?" "No," she replied frankly, blushing a bit. "He beats me when he gets drunk, he bullies our children, he's unfaithful, and really not much good at all." "It sounds to me as though you're better off without him," said the Governor. "Why on earth do you want him out of jail?" "Well," she explained, "we're out of bread again." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today July 1 in 0096 Vespasian, a Roman Army leader, was hailed as a Roman Emperor by the Egyptian legions. 1543 England and Scotland signed the peace of Greenwich. 1596 An English fleet under the Earl of Essex, Lord Howard of Effingham and Francis Vere captured and sacked Cadiz, Spain. 1690 The French defeated the forces of the Grand Alliance at Fleurus in the Netherlands. 1798 Napoleon Bonaparte took Alexandria, Egypt. 1845 Uniform postal rates went into effect throughout the United States. The Act of Congress was passed on March 3, 1845. 1847 In New York City, the U.S. Post Office issued its first adhesive stamps. The two stamps available were a 5- cent Benjamin Franklin and a 10-cent George Washington. 1862 The U.S. Congress established the Bureau of Internal Revenue. 1863 During the U.S. Civil War, the first day's fighting at Gettysburg began. 1867 Canada became an independent dominion. 1874 The Philadelphia Zoological Society zoo opened as the first zoo in the United States. 1876 Montenegro declared war on the Turks. 1893 The first bicycle race track in America to be made out of wood was opened in San Francisco, CA. 1897 Three years after the first issue of "Billboard Advertising" was published, the publication was renamed, "The Billboard". 1898 During the Spanish-American War, Theodore Roosevelt and his "Rough Riders" waged a victorious assault on San Juan Hill in Cuba. 1905 The USDA Forest Service was created within the Department of Agriculture. The agency was given the mission to sustain healthy, diverse, and productive forests and grasslands for present and future generations. 1909 Thomas Edison began commercially manufacturing his new "A" type alkaline storage batteries. 1916 The massive Allied offensive known as the Battle of the Somme began in France. The battle was the first to use tanks. 1934 The Federal Communications Commission replaced the Federal Radio Commission as the regulator of broadcasting in the United States. 1940 In Washington, the Tacoma Narrows Bridge was opened to traffic. The bridge collapsed during a wind storm on November 7, 1940. 1941 Bulova Watch Company sponsored the first TV commercial in New York City, NY. 1942 German troops captured Sevestpol, Crimea, in the Soviet Union. 1943 The U.S. Government began automatically withholding federal income tax from paychecks. 1945 New York established the New York State Commission Against Discrimination to prevent discrimination in employment because of race, creed or natural origin. It was the first such agency in the U.S. 1946 U.S. President Harry Truman signed Public Law 476 that incorporated the Civil Air Patrol as a benevolent, nonprofit organization. The Civil Air Patrol was created on December 1, 1941. 1946 The U.S. exploded a 20-kiloton atomic bomb near Bikini Atoll in the Pacific Ocean. 1948 The price of a subway ride in New York City was increased from 5 cents to 10. 1950 American ground troops arrived in South Korea to stem the tide of the advancing North Korean army. 1951 Bob Feller set a major league baseball record as he pitched his third no-hitter for the Cleveland Indians. 1960 Somalia gained its independence from Britain through the unification of Somaliland with Italian Somalia. 1961 British troops landed in Kuwait to aid against Iraqi threats. 1961 The first community air-raid shelter was built. The shelter in Boise, ID had a capacity of 1,000 people and family memberships sold for $100. 1963 The U.S. postmaster introduced the five-digit ZIP (Zoning Improvement Plan) code. 1966 The Medicare federal insurance program went into effect. 1968 The Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty was signed by 60 countries. It limited the spreading of nuclear material for military purposes. On May 11, 1995, the treaty was extended indefinitely. 1969 Britain's Prince Charles was invested as the Prince of Wales. 1974 Isavel Peron became the president of Argentina upon the death of her husband, Juan. 1979 Susan B. Anthony was commemorated on a U.S. coin, the Susan B. Anthony dollar. 1979 Sony introduced the Walkman. 1980 "O Canada" was proclaimed the national anthem of Canada. 1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter signed legislation that provided for 2 acres of land near the Lincoln Memorial for the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. 1981 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that candidates for federal office had an "affirmative right" to go on national television. 1985 Robin Yount (Milwaukee Brewers) got the 1,800th hit of his career. 1987 John Kevin Hill, at age 11, became the youngest to fly across the U.S. when he landed at National Airport in Washington, DC. 1989 The Montreal Protocol, an international treaty, went into effect. It limited the production of ozone-destroying chemicals. 1991 Court TV began airing. 1991 The Warsaw Pact dissolved. 1994 Yasser Arafat of the Palestinian Liberation Organization visited the Gaza Strip. 1997 The sovereignty over Hong Kong was transferred from Great Britain to China. Britain had controlled Hong Kong as a colony for 156 years. 1999 The U.S. Justice Department released new regulations that granted the attorney general sole power to appoint and oversee special counsels. The 1978 independent-counsel statute expired on June 30. 2003 In Hong Kong, thousands of protesters marched to show their opposition to anti-subversion legislation. 2020 Do smiled. |
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