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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a NH man charged after taking excavator, tearing down Franklin building Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 13, in 1519 Cortez landed in Mexico. ______________________________________________________ "A man is given the choice between loving women and understanding them." --- Ninon de Lenclos (1620-1705) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An elderly couple return to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde. "I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $75,000 asking price," said the man. "Yet I just heard you closed the deal for $65,000 to that lovely young lady there. You insisted there could be no discount on this model." "Well, what can I tell you? She had the ready cash and, just look at her, how could I resist?" replied the grinning salesman. Just then the young woman approached the aged couple and gave them the keys. "There you go," she said. "I told you I would get the dope to reduce it. See you later, grandpa. Never mess with the elderly! ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Ive never flown before, said the nervous old lady to the pilot. You will bring me down safely, wont you? All I can say maam, said the pilot, is that Ive never left anyone up there yet! ______________________________________________________ Are you there? >From FB ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jordan Ingram, 28, Franklin, New Hampshire NH man charged after taking excavator, tearing down Franklin building A New Hampshire man is facing charges after police say he took his mother's excavator and began tearing down a building in Franklin. He caused enough damage that the building is now condemned. Police arrested Jordan Ingram, 28, after receiving a report o f a person damaging a building on Tannery Street. Ingram was captured as he was in a car on Interstate 89 in New London, according to police. Police say they don't know why he decided to start tearing down the building. He has been charged with destruction of property and criminal mischief. Ingram's mother owns the excavator and was trying to buy the building on Tannery Street. She told News 9 that she planned to have Ingram live there. When she saw him in the excavator, she called the police on him. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bob Re: Is W10 OK now? Dear Webby Need your advise again. Running Windows 8.1 on my one year old DELL "All in One". I have a free version of Windows 10 available on my computer. I get reminders from DELL several times a week to download. I can't afford to purchase Windows 10 and wonder whether it is OK to download now as I notice they have issued several updates. Would appreciate your advise. Bob Daily Voter. Dear Bob I know W8 is bad, but not nearly as bad as W10. Wait for 10.2 or 10.3, or better yet, get whatever is installed on your next machine. They just want to overload your machine with W10, so that you get fed up with your machine and buy a new one. Ignore their silly nagging. There might even be a way to stop it if you contact DELL support Keep in mind, YOU don't need W10. It's only the Chinese computer manufacturers who need you to overload your W8 machine and get a new one. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ >From a church newsletter: We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector. The Advent Retreat will be held on the second Sinday in December in the lover level of St. Mary's Church. The District Duperintendent will be meeting with the church boared. The Ladies Auxiliary will be serving hot gods for lunch. As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing. If you are not getting the church newsletter, please unsubscribe. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cut Porcupine Quills Before Removing By Jess [141 Posts, 789 Comments] If you ever have the bad luck to remove porcupine quills from your dog (or yourself), don't just rip the quills out. The barb will cause more damage going out than going in. If you snip off the quill, the hollow walls will collapse, allowing you to remove the barbed quill with less damage. ______________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________ While shopping in the mall, two woman with three children blocked the passage while they were looking at a display in the window of a lingerie store. As one pointed to some lacy pyjamas with matching robe in the window she asked the other woman with a wink: "Do you think Fred would like this?" "No way," her about six-year-old son replied. "Daddy would never wear that!" ___________________________________________________ | Swanee River Boogie Woogie - Piano Solo |
____________________________________________________ Mr. and Mrs. Thorne had just reached the airport in the nick of time to catch the plane for their two-week's vacation in the Bahamas. "I wish we'd brought the piano with us," said Mr. Thorne. "What on earth for?" asked his wife. "I left the tickets on it." ____________________________________________________ As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a woman standing by the curb waiting for somebody. She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention. She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck's path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped. I rushed to the woman's side to see if she was all right. "I'm fine," she assured me, "but if that dog hadn't honked..." ____________________________________________________ | 15 Finalists from Smithsonians 13th Annual Photo Contest. |
| Today on March 13 0607 The 12th recorded passage of Halley's Comet occurred. 1519 Cortez landed in Mexico. 1660 A statute was passed limiting the sale of slaves in the colony of Virginia. 1777 The U.S. Congress ordered its European envoys to appeal to high-ranking foreign officers to send troops to reinforce the American army. 1781 Sir William Herschel discovered the planet Uranus. 1861 Jefferson Davis signed a bill authorizing slaves to be used as soldiers for the Confederacy. 1877 Chester Greenwood patented the earmuff. 1884 Standard time was adopted throughout the U.S. 1901 Andrew Carnegie announced that he was retiring from business and that he would spend the rest of his days giving away his fortune. His net worth was estimated at $300 million. 1902 In Poland, schools were shut down across the country when students refused to sing the Russian hymn "God Protect the Czar." 1902 Andrew Carnegie approved 40 applications from libraries for donations. 1908 The people of Jerusalem saw an automobile for the first time. The owner was Charles Glidden of Boston. 1911 The U.S. Supreme Court approved corporate tax law. 1915 The Germans repelled a British expeditionary force attack in France. 1918 Women were scheduled to march in the St. Patrick's Day Parade in New York due to a shortage of men due to wartime. 1925 A law in Tennessee prohibited the teaching of evolution. 1930 It was announced that the planet Pluto had been discovered by scientist Clyde Tombaugh at the Lowell Observatory. 1935 Three-thousand-year-old archives were found in Jerusalem confirming some biblical history. 1941 Adolf Hitler issued an edict calling for an invasion of the U.S.S.R. 1943 Japanese forces ended their attack on the American troops on Hill 700 in Bougainville. 1946 Reports from Iran indicated that Soviet tanks units were stationed 20 miles from Tehran. 1946 Premier Tito seized wartime collaborator General Draja Mikhailovich in a cave in Yugoslavia. 1951 Israel demanded $1.5 billion in German reparations for the cost of caring for war refugees. 1957 Jimmy Hoffa was arrested by the FBI on bribery charges. 1963 China invited Soviet President Khrushchev to visit Peking. 1969 The Apollo 9 astronauts returned to Earth after the conclusion of a mission that included the successful testing of the Lunar Module. 1970 Cambodia ordered Hanoi and Viet Cong troops to leave. 1970 Digital Equipment Corp. introduced the PDP-11 minicomputer. 1974 The U.S. Senate voted 54-33 to restore the death penalty. 1974 An embargo imposed by Arab oil-producing countries was lifted. 1980 A jury in Winamac, IN, found Ford Motor Company innocent of reckless homicide in the deaths of three young women that had been riding in a Ford Pinto. 1990 The U.S. lifted economic sanctions against Nicaragua. 1991 Exxon paid $1 billion in fines and for the clean-up of the Alaskan oil spill. 2002 Fox aired "Celebrity Boxing." Tonya Harding beat Paula Jones, Danny Banaduce beat Barry Williams and Todd Bridges defeated Vanilla Ice. 2003 Japan sent a destroyer to the Sea of Japan amid reports that North Korea was planning to test an intermediate-range ballistic missile. 2003 A report in the journal "Nature" reported that scientists had found 350,000-year-old human footprints in Italy. The 56 prints were made by three early, upright-walking humans that were descending the side of a volcano. 2012 After 244 years of publication, Encyclopdia Britannica announced it would discontinue its print edition. 2016 Do smiled. |
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