Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, September 1 NASA admits that climate change occurs because of changes in Earth's solar orbit, and NOT because of SUVs and fossil fuel. Al Gore, CNN etc are full of BS _____________________________________________________ Today, September 1 in  1991 The U.S. trust territory of Palau became independent. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Walmart Wanker / Stalker In Electric Cart  _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence. --- Henry Adams (1838 - 1918) A liberal is a person, whose interests aren't at stake at the moment. --- Willis Player As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something. --- Hagar the Horrible _______________________________________________ Carol's grandson, Matthew, 5, was on his way to Carol's house. He was singing Jingle Bells. When he came to "Jingle bells all the way" he was singing, "Jingle bells half the way." When his mom corrected him, he said,"Mommy, I don't feel good today, so I'm not going all the way, just half the way." ________________________________________________`   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor:  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Gary Sheriff, 65. Marion, a Cedar Rapids suburb, Iowa  Walmart Wanker / Stalker In Electric Cart  As if navigating Walmart on a Saturday wasn't enough of a nightmare, imagine turning around and seeing a bloated Iowa pervert tailing you in an electric shopping cart while exposing his penis and stroking it. That vile affront befell a female customer at a Walmart in Marion, a Cedar Rapids suburb. Investigators arrested Gary Sheriff, a 65-year-old Marion resident, for indecent exposure, according to a criminal complaint. Upon being summoned to the Walmart, cops found that Sheriff had been following a woman around the store in an electric cart while exposing his penis and stroking it. Pictured above, Sheriff was booked into the Linn County jail, where he is locked up in lieu of $5000 bond. Sheriff is scheduled for a September 4 preliminary hearing. A magistrate judge has ordered Sheriff to have no contact with the 36-year-old victim.  
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Irvin Re: Is W10 fixed now?  Dear Webby, I need a new computer, but absolutely hate W10. Some friends claim that W10 has been fixed and is OK to use now. Is that just hype, or is there some truth to that? Thanks Irwin  Dear Irwin Just hype. Those friends, if they lose their drivers license and have to park their car, would probably tell you that walking and taking the bus is good for you, and not so bad once you get used to it. The minute they get their drivers license back, they will be driving again, and if they could get a W7 or XP machine, they would instantly switch and forget all their hype. Because of the demand, XP and W7 machines are very expensive, but they ARE still available at the business entrance of some computer vendors, with W7 installed, and W10 on a beer coaster, like the CDs that AOL used to send around. The sad thing is, the actual operating system of W10 is quite OK, just the hostile and klutzy user interface is a major nuisance. You can also use XtraPC, which is basically Linux on a USB stick. It looks like the transmitter stick for your wireless mouse. You can get them with 16, 32 or even 64 GB of RAM. You plug that in, reboot, and you are running Linux, just like the banks and stores and industry, and all the web servers. Naturally, it would be good if there is a friendly Penguin (Linux user) in your area, because initially you may have the odd question. It is so fast you often wonder if you have hit the right commands. You will get used to it quickly. I have used Linux since 1993, side by side with Windows. Yes, you can even run a Linux shell on a Windows machine, just like you can still run good old DOS on a Windows machine. START, cmd.exe and you are in the DOS shell. Underneath it all, there is still DOS. With the XtraPC or any "Linux on a stick" you can do all work at top speed, but you can always pull the stick, reboot and instead of racing with the Ferrari, you can dawdle along with the Moped. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
 At the supermarket parking lot I saw a lady who seemed rather upset. When I asked her what was wrong she said, "I don't think I like that produce guy. I went and looked around for organic vegetables for my mother-in-law, but I couldn't find any. So I asked him where the organic vegetables were. "He didn't know what I was talking about so I said, 'These vegetables are for my mother-in-law. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?' "And he said, 'No, ma'am. You'll have to do that yourself !'" 
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 A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. "Hey, what's up with you?", he asks. "Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me." "Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?" "Neither, her father is bald." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Perfume or Cologne and Clothing Put perfume or cologne on your skin instead of your clothing. The perfume may stain or damage some types of fabric. thriftyfun.Com  ____________________________________________________   
 
Nine incredibly beautiful animals. 
 ___________________________________________________ Joe's wife likes to sing so she decided to join the church choir. From time to time she would practice while she was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Whenever she would start in on a song, Joe would head outside to the porch. His wife, with hurt feelings, said, "What's the matter, Joe? Don't you like my singing?" Joe replied, "Honey, I love your singing, but I just want to make sure the neighbors know I'm not beating you." ___________________________________________________ The preacher was having a heart-to-heart talk with a backslider of his flock, whose drinking of moonshine invariably led to quarreling with his neighbors, and occasional shotgun blasts at some of them. "Can't you see, Ben," intoned the parson, "that not one good thing comes out of this drinking?" "Well, I sort of disagree there," replied the backslider. "It makes me miss the folks I shoot at." ___________________________________________________ A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk by again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again..?" __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, September 1 in 1569 The Duke of Norfolk was imprisoned by Britain's Queen Elizabeth for trying to marry Mary the Queen of Scots. 1800 Spain ceded the territory of Louisiana back to France. Later the property would be purchased by the U.S. effectively doubling its size. 1880 Thomas Edison began the commercial production of electric lamps at Edison Lamp Works in Menlo Park. 1885 Special delivery mail service began in the United States. The first routes were in West Virginia. 1890 The U.S. Congress passed the McKinley Tariff Act. The act raised tariffs to a record level. 1896 Rural Free Delivery was established by the U.S. Post Office. 1908 The Model T automobile was introduced by Henry Ford. The purchase price of the car was $850. 1918 Damascus was captured from the Turks during World War I by a force made up of British and Arab forces. 1936 General Francisco Franco was proclaimed the head of the Spanish state. 1938 German forces enter Czechoslovakia and seized control of the German speaking Sudetenland. The Munich Pact had been signed two days before. 1940 The Pennsylvania Turnpike opened as the first toll superhighway in the United States. 1943 Naples was captured by the Allied forces during World War II. 1946 The International War Crimes Tribunal in Nuremberg sentenced 12 Nazi officials to death. Seven others were sentenced to prison terms and 3 were acquitted. 1949 Mao Tse-tung raised the first flag of the People's Republic of China when the communist forces had defeated the Nationalists. The Nationalist forces fled to Taiwan. 1962 Johnny Carson began hosting the "Tonight" show on NBC-TV. He stayed with the show for 29 years. Jack Paar was the previous host. 1964 The Free Speech Movement was started at the University of California at Berkeley. 1972 The Chinese government approved friendly relations with the United States. 1979 The United States handed control of the Canal Zone over to Panama. 1982 EPCOT (Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow) Center opened in Florida. The concept was planned by Walt Disney. 1984 U.S. Labor Secretary Raymond Donovan announced that he was taking a leave of absence following his indictment on charges of larceny and fraud. He was later acquitted. 1985 The PLO's headquarters in Tunisia was raided by Israeli jet fighters. 1988 Mikhail Gorbachev assumed the Soviet presidency. 1989 The authorized Charles Schulz biography, Good Grief, was published. 1989 7,000 East Germans were welcomed into West Germany after they were allowed to leave by the communist government. 1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush addressed the U.N. General Assembly and once again condemned Iraq's takeover of Kuwait. 1990 In Croatia, minority Serbs proclaimed autonomy. 1991 U.S. President Bush condemned the military coup in Haiti that removed President Jean-Bertrand Aristide from power. U.S. economic and military aid was suspended. 1991 The U.S. trust territory of Palau became independent. 1992 The Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty was approved by the U.S. Senate. 1994 The U.S. and Japan avoided a trade war by reaching a series of trade agreements. 1994 The National Hockey League (NHL) team owners began a lockout of the players that lasted 103 days. 1995 Sheik Omar Abdel-Rahman and nine other defendants were convicted in New York of conspiring to attack the U.S. through bombings, kidnappings and assassinations. 1996 Lucent Technologies became an independent company. 1998 The U.S. government posted a $2.2 million reward for the capture of Augustin Vasquez Mendoza. He is accused of killing an undercover U.S. agent during a drug purchase in 1994. 1999 The 50th anniversary of the founding of the Peoples Republic of China was celebrated in Beijing. 2001 San Francisco's Board of Supervisors voted unanimously to ban Internet filters designed to keep pornography away from children at city libraries. The board left the decision up to the Library Commission to decide whether to install filtering software in children's areas. A federal law in the U.S. mandated the use of the filters. 2009 In the United Arab Emirates, the exterior construction of the Burj Khalifa skyscraper was completed. 2019 Do smiled.