Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, September 6 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  _____________________________________________________ Today, September 6 in  1948 Queen Juliana of the Netherlands was crowned. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Louisiana Woman, 75, Busted For Having Drugs Smuggled Into  _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) _______________________________________________ One beautiful Sunday morning, a priest announced to his congregation: "My good people, I have here in my hands three sermons... a $100 sermon that lasts five minutes, a $50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes, a $10 sermon that lasts a full hour, and a coin sermon that lasts till noon. Now, we'll take the collection to see which one you want." ________________________________________________`   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor:  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Judy Futch, 75, Ouachita, Louisiana  Louisiana Woman, 75, Busted For Having Drugs Smuggled Into Prison  A 75-year-old Louisiana woman has been arrested for allegedly arranging for drugs to be smuggled to her son in a county jail, records show. Cops charge that Judy Futch twice delivered Suboxone, an opioid addiction medication, to an inmate job site outside of the Ouachita Correctional Institute so that inmates could later deliver the narcotics to her son Derrek, 46. A criminal investigation was opened last week when deputies discovered Suboxone at one of the inmate workers jobs. When confronted by cops, Futch denied involvement in any smuggling. When shown photos of her carrying a bag at the job site, Futch claimed it contained hamburgers for the inmates. Seen above, Futch subsequently confessed to buying Suboxone and bringing it to the job site at her son's direction. Futch said she has done it approximately 2 times, according to an arrest report. Futch said that she paid a total of $300 for 15 Suboxone pills. Futch was arrested yesterday on felony conspiracy and narcotics possession charges. She was released from custody today around 10:45 AM. Futch's son, already serving a two-year sentence for narcotics possession, was re-booked yesterday on the same conspiracy charge filed against his mother. Obviously he has not learned. Smuggling dope into jail is usually good for five - ten years. 
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Carolyn Re: RealPlayer  Dear Webby, does the free version of RealPlayer look safe and okay to download? Is it something worthwhile to have? Thanks as always for your input. Thank Goodness for "Webby!" Thanks, Carolyn  Dear Carolyn Personally I shun realPlayer. If the content of a site is not up to standard and won't work with MediaPlayer or standard players, then I don't really need their content. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
 A doctor told Mrs. Stone to give her husband one pill a day and one drink of whiskey to improve his stamina. A month later, when Mrs. Stone came in for another visit, the doctor asked, "How are we doing with the pill and the whiskey?" Mrs. Stone answered, "Well, he's a little behind with the pills, but he's about six months ahead with the whiskey." 
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 >From Bob No one is more cautious than a first-time parent. After our daughter was big enough to ride on the back of my bicycle, I bought a special carrier with a seat belt and got her a little helmet. The day of the first ride I put her in the seat, double- checked all the equipment, wheeled the bike to the end of the driveway, carefully looked both ways and, swinging my leg up over the crossbar, accidentally kicked her right in the chin. ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Fixing Linoleum or Vinyl Tiles If your linoleum or vinyl is starting to peel up around the edges, it's important to fix it to keep moisture from getting to your sub flooring. Put linoleum cement under the edge of the linoleum and place a large book or brick on it. thriftyfun.Com  ____________________________________________________  
 
 
 Complete Listing of World Wonders 
 ___________________________________________________ >From Joe My wife doesn't complain often, but once she was having a old-fashioned "heart-to-heart" with me and said, "Hon, you never listen to me. Every time I try to talk to you, you get this far-away look in your eyes after only a few seconds. Please promise me you'll try to work on that." The last thing I remember was replying, "I'm sorry, what was that you were saying?" ___________________________________________________ The passenger sat in the backseat, clutching the door handle and wondering if she could expect to survive the trip. The cabdriver sped through the crowded streets, weaving in and out of traffic. The passenger watched as one pedestrian after another ran to avoid being run down by her lunatic driver. She looked ahead and saw a truck double-parked on the narrow street,but not only did the taxi driver fail to slow down, he actually accelerated as he approached the truck. He slipped his cab through the available space with an inch or two to spare on either side. "Driver!" the passenger screamed,"Are you trying to get us both killed?" "Relax,lady," he said, "just do what I do. Close your eyes. There are no cops between here and heaven." ___________________________________________________ One night a wife found her husband standing over their newborn baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, and skepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband. "A penny for your thoughts," she whispered. "It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $49.95." __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, September 6 in 1620 The Pilgrims left on the Mayflower from Plymouth, England to settle in the New World. 1819 Thomas Blanchard patented a machine called the lathe. They had been in use for many centuries, but never patented. 1837 The Oberlin Collegiate Institute of Ohio went co- educational. 1876 The Southern Pacific rail line from Los Angeles to San Francisco was completed. 1899 Carnation processed its first can of evaporated milk. 1901 U.S. President William McKinley was shot and mortally wounded (he died eight days later) by Leon Czolgosz. Czolgosz, an American anarchist, was executed the following October. 1909 Robert Peary, American explorer, sent word that he had reached the North Pole. He had reached his goal five months earlier. 1939 South Africa declared war on Germany. 1941 Jews in German-occupied areas were ordered to wear the Star of David with the word "Jew" inscribed. The order only applied to Jews over the age of 6. 1944 During World War II, the British government relaxed blackout restrictions and suspended compulsory training for the Home Guard since they used Canadians for front line jobs. 1948 Queen Juliana of the Netherlands was crowned. 1975 Martina Navratilova requested political asylum while in New York for the U.S. Open Tennis Tournament. 1990 Iraq warned that anyone trying to flee the country without permission would be put in prison for life. 1991 The State Council of the Soviet Union recognized the independence of the Baltic states. 1991 The name St. Petersburg was restored to Russia's second largest city. The city was founded in 1703 by Peter the Great. The name has been changed to Petrograd (1914) and to Leningrad (1924). 1992 A 35-year old man died ten weeks after receiving a transplanted baboon liver. 1995 U.S. Senator Bob Packwood was expelled by the Senate Ethics Committee. 2000 The U.N. Millennium Summit began in New York. It was the largest gathering of world leaders in history with more than 150 present. 2001 The U.S. Justice Department announced that it was seeking a lesser antitrust penalty and would not attempt to break up Microsoft. 2001 Ebay Inc. was found not liable for copyright infringement because bootleg copies of a Charles Manson documentary had been sold on the site. 2002 In New York, the U.S. Congress convened at Federal Hall for a rare special session. The session was held in New York to express the nation's mourning for the loss on September 11, 2001 and unity in the war against terrorism. 2002 At the Smithsonian American Art Museum, the exhibition "George Catlin and His Indian Gallery" went on view. The exhibit contained over 400 objects. 2008 The Federal Housing Finance Agency (FHFA) announced that Fannie Mae (Federal National Mortgage Association) and Freddie Mac (Federal Home Loan Mortgage Corporation) would be placed in government conservatorship. 2019 Do smiled.