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Todays Bonehead Award: Florida woman beats the crap out of her boyfriend who wanted to go back to his wife. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 4, in 1776 The amended Declaration of Independence, prepared by Thomas Jefferson, was approved and signed by John Hancock, the President of the Continental Congress in America. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive. --- John Sladek ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ One time while driving through Alabama, I stopped at one of those 24-hour gas station mini-marts to get myself a fresh-brewed cup of coffee. When I picked up the pot, I could not help noticing that the brew was as black as asphalt and just about as thick. "How old is the coffee you have here?" I asked the woman who was reading a magazine behind the store counter. She shrugged. "I don't know. I've only been working here two weeks." Independence Day Sale
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While attending college, I worked evenings at a retail store. On slow nights my co-worker Susan would often sing along with the radio while we did paperwork or restocked merchandise. One evening as the manager was leaving, I expressed my concern to him about our safety, being two women working alone at night. "Oh, you'll be fine," he said, waving of his hand. "If you see anybody who looks suspicious, just warn him that Susan knows karaoke." ______________________________________________________ A salesman was trying to talk a farmer into buying a bicycle, but was meeting with considerable sales resistance. "Shucks, I'd sooner spend my money on a cow," said the farmer. "Ah," replied the salesman, "but think how silly you'd look riding around on a cow." "Humph!" retorted the farmer. "Not near as silly as youI'd look trying to milk a bicycle!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Florida woman beats the crap out of her boyfriend who wanted to go back to his wife. Charlotte Pollock, 37, West Palm Beach, Florida A West Palm Beach woman was arrested Thursday afternoon after being accused of beating the man she was having an affair with, according to Delray Beach Police. Why was she so mad? Apparently, he wanted to get back with his wife. Woman charged with beating lover: You love that (Rolex) more than me photo Charlotte Pollock is facing charges of aggravated battery, grand theft and trespassing. Charlotte Pollock, 37, of West Palm Beach, is facing charges of aggravated battery, larceny and trespassing. Pollock, who is married, was allegedly having an affair with a 54-year-0ld married man with whom she worked with. Sometime in mid-June, the man was at his Delray Beach home when he told Pollock he wanted to get back together with his wife, which angered Pollock. According to a Delray Beach Police arrest report, she first struck him over the head with a glass pane from a coffee table, then struck him again with a glass pane as he retreated to his bedroom. Pollock then trashed his bedroom, shoved him on the bed and tried to shove his prescription medication into his mouth and ears while jamming her fingers into his eyes, according to the report. Pollock then picked up a lamp and struck him in the back and shoulder. When the man tried to call police, Pollock allegedly ripped a gold and white Rolex watch off his wrist and said: You love that [expletive] watch more than me. She then left the mans house. After police asked her to come to the station and tell her side of the story, Pollock didnt show. She did, however, return the watch to the man, dropping it off on the front seat of his car. Pollock was released from the Palm Beach County Jail on Thursday after posting $5,000 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sandra RE: Incredimail spying Dear Webby, Some of our clients use that "Incredimail" spyware with that silly gullibility reporter ( that little orange envelope icon ). If I have to forward their mail to another department, quite often it causes the mail to stick and not go out as it should. What causes that and what do you recommend to get around that nuisance ? Sandra Dear Sandra The cause for that problem is probably that gullibility reporter trying to report on you and/or the original sender of that mail. If you just go on-line to retrieve the incoming mail from the Internet, but then go off-line while you forward mail to different departments on your internal office network, then that tattle-tale can not snitch on you to Incredimail, but keeps on trying. The same of course also happens whenever the Incredimail server is too busy to accept the report about you. When you forward that type of mail, they hide that orange envelope in a tiny, almost invisible dot near the bottom. Just locate that tiny dot and delete it. After that, the mail will go out instantly. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious woman. "I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today," she said. "Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked. "No, not really," the caller answered, "Just a bit at the roots, but other than that I am a redhead this week." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Buy Fireworks After the Holiday Last year I went after the 4th when they were having the buy 1 get 2 free sales (yep I typed that right) and stocked up for this year. We already have a bag full of fireworks waiting for us to light up this year! Of course you need to store them in a safe, fireproof place. The BBQ is NOT a good place to store them! ______________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________ Giving a man his physical, a doctor noticed several dark, ugly bruises on his shins, so he asked, "Do you play hockey, soccer, or any physical sport?" "Not at all. I just play bridge with my wife." ___________________________________________________ | Reading of the Declaration of Independence |
____________________________________________________ "Hello?" A girl's voice came over the line. "Can I speak to Ben, please?" I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number and I was fed up with wrong number calls. There always eem to be more during times of full moon. "I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Can I take a message?" "Do you know what time he'll be back?" she responded. "I think he said he'd be home around 10:00." Silence on the other end...a confused silence. "Is this Steve?" My name isn't Steve, either. This was definitely a wrong number. "Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben?" "Well...he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him..." she said in a slightly irritated voice. I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago, and said that he would be back at 10:00." A shocked voice now: "Who's Karen?!" "The girl he went out with." "I know that! I mean...who is she?" "I don't know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message for Ben?" "Yes...please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home." She was sounding pretty irate at this point, and I could hear her temper flaring. "I sure will. Is this Jennifer?" She exploded this time. "Who's Jennifer?" Apparently she wasn't. "Well...he's going out with Jennifer at 10:00. I thought you were her. Sorry...it was an honest mistake." "Ben's the one that's made the mistake! Tell him that Alice called him and the she's Very Upset and that I would Like Him to Call Me as Soon As He Gets Home." I smiled and said, "Okay, I will...but Becky isn't going to like this..." " Click " ____________________________________________________ A guide is showing a Texan the Niagara Falls. "I'll bet you don't have anything like that in Texas!" "Nope, I reckon we don't," said the Texan. "But we've got plumbers who could fix it." ____________________________________________________ | Today on July 4 1776 The amended Declaration of Independence, prepared by Thomas Jefferson, was approved and signed by John Hancock, the President of the Continental Congress in America. 1803 The Louisiana Purchase was announced in newspapers. The property was purchased, by the U.S. from France, was for $15 million (or 3 cents an acre). The "Corps of Discovery," led by Meriwether Lewis and William Clark, began the exploration of the territory on May 14, 1804. 1817 Construction began on the Erie Canal, to connect Lake Erie and the Hudson River. 1845 American writer Henry David Thoreau began his two-year experiment in simple living at Walden Pond, near Concord, MA. 1884 Bullfighting was introduced in the U.S. in Dodge City, KS. 1886 The first rodeo in America was held at Prescott, AZ. 1894 After seizing power, Judge Stanford B. Dole declared Hawaii a republic. 1901 William H. Taft became the American governor of the Philippines. 1910 Race riots broke out all over the United States after African-American Jack Johnson knocked out Jim Jeffries in a heavyweight boxing match. 1934 Boxer Joe Louis won his first professional fight. 1934 At Mount Rushmore, George Washington's face was dedicated. 1946 The Philippines achieved full independence for the first time in over four hundred years. 1960 The 50-star U.S. flag made its debut in Philadelphia, PA. 1966 U.S. President Johnson signed the Freedom of Information Act, which went into effect the following year. 1987 Klaus Barbie, the former Gestapo chief known as the "Butcher of Lyon," was convicted by a French court of crimes against humanity and sentenced to life in prison. 1997 The Mars Pathfinder, an unmanned spacecraft, landed on Mars. A rover named Sojourner was deployed to gather data about the surface of the planet. 1997 Ferry service between Manhattan and Staten Island was made free of charge. 2009 North Korea launched seven ballistic missiles into waters off its east coast that defied U.N. resolutions. 2009 The Statue of Liberty's crown reopened to visitors. It had been closed to the public since 2001. 2016 Do smiled. |
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