Good Morning, Do! Today is Satuday, June 12 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Pontiac woman gets personal bond after breaking deputy's eye bone ___________________________________________________ Today, June 12 in 1979 Bryan Allen flew the Gossamer Albatross, man powered, across the English Channel. ____________________________________________________ In politics, absurdity is not a handicap. --- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821) ____________________________________________________ A man went to get his driver's license renewed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the man finally got his license. He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture." The clerk looked at his picture closely. "It's okay," she reassured the man. "That's how you're going to look when the cops pull you over anyway." ____________________________________________________ Kasun Madhushka ____________________________________________________ The young teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked Morris, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 25 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 130 degrees, 15 minutes West longitude...?" After a confused silence Morris replied, "I guess you'd be eating alone. That's halfway to Hawaii, and I can't swim." ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Andrea Ariel-Jones Sheppard, 32, Pontiac, Michigan, USA Pontiac woman gets personal bond after breaking deputy's eye bone A Pontiac woman was arrested Sunday after she was accused of punching an Oakland County Sheriff's Deputy in the face so hard, she broke his orbital bone. The woman, identified as Andrea Ariel-Jones Sheppard, 32, was arraigned on one count of assaulting a police officer, which is a four-year felony. According to Oakland County Sheriff Michael Bouchard, the deputy responded to a call of a woman walking in and out of the street near East Pike and Woodward Avenue in Pontiac and asked Sheppard if she needed help. Bouchard said when the deputy arrived, she was standing in the middle of Pike Street. The deputy got out of his car and asked if she needed help. Sheppard would not identify herself, became belligerent, and yelled obscenities at the deputy. When another deputy arrived, Sheppard approached the first deputy and continued to yell obscenities, Bouchard said, and then hit him several times in the head and upper body while he was trying to get out of his patrol car. According to Bouchard, she punched him in the eye and broke his orbital bone. The deputy pushed her back and she began to advance towards the deputy before she was Tasered and subsequently arrested. This week, Sheppard was arraigned in Oakland County court where she was given a $1,000 personal bond, which does not require a defendant to post any money to be released. Bouchard was outraged at the ability of Sheppard to be released after assaulting the deputy. "I am angry at how regularly people assault police officers today and how little attention or care they have in Washington for this," Sheriff Michael Bouchard said. "In 2019, the FBI reported more than 56,000 police officers were assaulted." Sheppard is due in court on June 17. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: Amanda RE: Is fiber faster? Is fiber faster, or is all their hype about copper corroding and glass fiber optics a lot faster, just bullshit? As anything coming from the Turkmenistanian Fiber Salesmen at Telass? I am seriously disappointed that they replaced all three support techs with hordes of one finger typing fiber salesmen sitting in the bushes outaide a Starbucks somewhere far away and having the ethics of a used car salesman in a junkyard. Ananda Dear Amanda! You sure identified current Telus support 100% correctly! Their road techs are still good, just their online support totally stinks. Yes, their hype about speed and copper corroding is just a bunch of lies. Copper does not corrode. If you use it to cover an outhouse roof, it will get a patina, but it will NOT corrode. My speed from here to Calgary, via good, old-fashioned copper, has always been good: 29 - 30 Mbps. On fiber, that is still the same. Identical. As before, the bottleneck is in Calgary. That is where they need fiber, instead of ancient hemp rope. So, in summary: Don't believe a word the fiber salesmen tell you, and DON'T pay extra for fiber. They will get desperate enough to give you a fiber connection at the same price you are paying for copper. The fiber is THEIR need, not yours. You will find a 2 - 4 second lag (delay) to get to a site, but once you are there, the connection is just as fast as with copper. The lag is apparently just something you have to get used to with fiber and hemp. Have FUN! DearWebby Driving home after working late the other day, I was stopped by a police officer for speeding. I explained that I was rushing home to be with my wife on our first anniversary, which was the truth. However, instead of being let off with a warning, the officer said "Congratulations!" and then proceeded to write out the ticket. As he handed it to me, he said, "The first year is paper, right?" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Here's a woman with no luck for names. Born Jennifer Crabb, and enduring teasing throughout school, her nearest neighbors had the last names Beaver, Butt, and Blow. Finally she attended Denison College where she slept in Beaver Dorm. Denison College, by the way, is in Licking County, Ohio. Philadelphia Inquirer ___________________________________________ Randy, was on a hunting trip up in West Virginia. He became rather cold and thirsty so decided to stop in at his Mother in law's place and ask for something to drink. She said, "You look really cold, how about a bowl of soup." There was a wee Vietnamese pig running around the kitchen, running up to Randy and giving him a great deal of attention.Randy commented, "That pig sure is friendly." Bill, his father in law replied: "Arnold's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using." ____________________________________________ A study conducted by the American Psychiatric Association (ASA) today showed that over 40% of the practicing psychiatrists in the U.S. were themselves receiving psychiatric treatment of some kind. A spokeswoman for the ASA said the public should not be concerned, as the remainder were undergoing intensive drug-therapy. ----- You gotta be nuts to go see a shrink! --- Beetle Bailey ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, June 12, in 1099 Crusade leaders visited the Mount of Olives where they met a hermit who urged them to assault Jerusalem. 1442 Alfonso V of Aragon was crowned King of Naples. 1665 England installed a municipal government in New York. It was the former Dutch settlement of New Amsterdam. 1812 Napoleon's invasion of Russia began. 1849 Lewis Haslett patented a gas mask. (Patent US6529 A) 1897 Carl Elsener patented his penknife. The object later became known as the Swiss army knife. 1898 Philippine nationalists declared their independence from Spain. 1900 The Reichstag approved a second law that would allow the expansion of the German navy. 1901 Cuba agreed to become an American protectorate by accepting the Platt Amendment. 1918 The first airplane bombing raid by an American unit occurred on World War I's Western Front in France. 1921 U.S. President Warren Harding urged every young man to attend military training camp. 1923 Harry Houdini, while suspended upside down 40 feet above the ground, escaped from a strait jacket. 1926 Brazil quit the League of Nations in protest over plans to admit Germany. 1935 U.S. Senator Huey Long of Louisiana made the longest speech on Senate record. The speech took 15 1/2 hours and was filled by 150,000 words. 1935 The Chaco War was ended with a truce. Bolivia and Paraguay had been fighting since 1932. 1937 The Soviet Union executed eight army leaders under Joseph Stalin. 1941 In London, the Inter-Allied Declaration was signed. It was the first step towards the establishment of the United Nations. 1944 Chinese Communist leader Mao Tse-tung announced that he would support Nationalist leader Chiang Kai-shek in the war against Japan. 1963 "Cleopatra" starring Elizabeth Taylor, Rex Harrison, and Richard Burton premiered at the Rivoli Theatre in New York City. 1963 Civil rights leader Medgar Evers was fatally shot in front of his home in Jackson, MS. 1967 State laws which prohibited interracial marriages were ruled unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court. 1975 Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was found guilty of corrupt election practices in 1971. 1979 Bryan Allen flew the Gossamer Albatross, man powered, across the English Channel. 1985 Wayne "The Great One" Gretsky was named winner of the NHL's Hart Trophy. The award is given to the the league Most Valuable Player. 1985 The U.S. House of Representatives approved $27 million in aid to the Nicaraguan contras. 1986 South Africa declared a national state of emergency. Virtually unlimited power was given to security forces and restrictions were put on news coverage of the unrest. 1987 U.S. President Reagan publicly challenged Mikhail Gorbachev to tear down the Berlin Wall. 1990 The parliament of the Russian Federation formally declared its sovereignty. 1991 Russians went to the election polls and elected Boris N. Yeltsin as the president of their republic. 1992 In a letter to the U.S. Senate, Russian Boris Yeltsin stated that in the early 1950's the Soviet Union had shot down nine U.S. planes and held 12 American survivors. 1996 In Philadelphia a panel of federal judges blocked a law against indecency on the internet. The panel said that the 1996 Communications Decency Act would infringe upon the free speech rights of adults. 1997 The U.S. Treasury Department unveiled a new $50 bill meant to be more counterfeit-resistant. 1998 Compaq Computer paid $9 billion for Digital Equipment Corp. in largest high-tech acquisition. 1999 NATO peacekeeping forces entered the province of Kosovo in Yugoslavia. 2003 In Arkansas, Terry Wallis spoke for the first time in nearly 19 years. Wallis had been in a coma since July 13, 1984, after being injured in a car accident. 2009 In the U.S., The switch from analog TV trasmission to digital was completed. 2021 Do smiled. |
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