Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, September 8 _____________________________________________________ Today, September 8 in  1565 A Spanish expedition established the first permanent European settlement in North America at present-day St. Augustine, FL. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Brasilian gang leader used silicon mask to pretend to be daughter in escape bid  _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting. --- Charles Bukowski (1920 - 1994) Efficiency is intelligent laziness. --- Socratex _______________________________________________ A man complains to a friend, "I can't take it anymore." "What's wrong?" his concerned friend asks. "It's my wife. Every time we have an argument, she gets historical!" "You mean hysterical," his friend said, chuckling. "No, I mean HISTORICAL," the man insists. "Every argument we have, she'll go "I still remember that time when you said ...." ________________________________________________` Thanks to Trish for this picture   Red-fan parrot (Deroptyus accipitrinus) in Brazil by Aisse Gaertner _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor:  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Clauvino da Silva, Gericino prison, in western Rio de Janeiro. Brasil  Brasilian gang leader used silicon mask to pretend to be daughter in escape bid  The leader of a notorious drug trafficking gang wore a creepy rubber mask and a wig as he tried to escape prison dressed as his teenage daughter. But Clauvino da Silva's nervousness as he tried to walk out of the main entrance gave him away, according to prison officials. He apparently planned to leave his 19-year-old daughter inside the prison after she came to visit him. Police are investigating her possible role as an accomplice in Saturday's failed escape attempt from Gericino prison, in western Rio de Janeiro. Rio's State Secretary of Prison Administration released photos showing da Silva, also known as 'Shorty' wearing a silicon mask, a long dark-haired wig, tight jeans and a pink shirt with a cartoon image of doughnuts. His teenage daughter is being investigated for her role in the escape attempt Authorities say da Silva was part of the leadership of the Red Command, one of the most powerful criminal groups in Brazil that controlled drug trafficking in a large part of Rio. After the failed escape bid, da Silva was transferred to maximum-security prison and will face disciplinary sanctions. 
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Eloise Re: 7 Zip  Dear Webby, I wanted to download a free webpage and it saved it in zip, which I can not open. Is it ok to download 7-zip? When I looked at that site, I didn't know which on to pick. Eloise  Dear Eloise https://www.7-zip.org/download.html Take the second Download Download	.exe	64-bit x64	7-Zip for 64-bit Windows x64 (Intel 64 or AMD64) The first one is if you have Windows XP. 7zip works well, and does everything Winzip does, except for the nagging for money. Most people say that 7zip is faster than Winzip, but you would have to do very large files to notice a real life difference. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
 A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage, a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said, "Boy, how I wish you could talk." The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down and gave a little monkey yell. "You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer. Again, the monkey shook his head up and down and made his noises. "Well, did you see this?" "Yes," motioned the monkey. "What happened?" The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth. "They were drinking?" asked the officer. "Yes," the monkey nodded. "What else?" The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth. "Oh, they were smoking pot?" "Yes," motioned the monkey. "What else, anything?" The monkey motioned two people kissing. "They were kissing too?" asked the astounded officer. "Yes," nodded the monkey. "Now wait just a minute. You're saying your owners were drinking, smoking and kissing before they wrecked?" "Yes!" the monkey motioned. "And just what were you doing during all this?" "Driving," motioned the monkey. 
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 Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea, It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the error rite Its rarely ever wrong. Eye have run this poem threw it I am shore your pleased two no Its letter perfect in it's weigh My chequer tolled me sew. ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Dog Potty Spot Made from Sod Squares We live in Florida and half of the year we are prepping for hurricanes and my dog may have to stay in for hours or even days during bad weather. I went to my local garden center purchased a couple of pieces of fresh sod(yes you can buy pcs! About $2.50 each) I put the sod in a cheap plastic kiddie pool on my back porch and voila! Outside potty inside! thriftyfun.Com  ____________________________________________________  
 
 
Thousands to attend mass BBQ outside home of vegan who SUED her neighbours for cooking meat 
 ___________________________________________________ Bob hadn't been to a class reunion in decades. When he walked into this latest one, he thought he recognized a woman over in the corner, so he approached her and extended his hand in greeting, saying, "You look like Helen Brown." "Well," the woman snapped back, "you don't look so great in blue, either!" ___________________________________________________ A guy had just returned from two weeks of vacation. He asked his boss for two more weeks off to get married. "What!" shouted the boss? "I can't give you more time now. Why didn't you get married while you were off?" "Are you nuts?" he replied. "That would have ruined my whole vacation." ___________________________________________________ A man driving in Southern Indiana, heading for Kentucky, saw a sign that read: "LAST CHANCE FOR $1.25 GAS!!!" He still had more than half of a tank left, but figured he'd better take advantage of this opportunity to fill up. As he was getting his change from the attendant, he asked, "How much is gas in Kentucky?" The man replied, "$1.19." ---- Don't worry about those gas prices. They still use Imperial Short Gallons there (about 15 27/32 cups plus a sip). However those are not regular cups. US cups are about 1 3/7th espresso cups, so that works out to 3 and 29/37th of a Liter or 3.785 Liters. __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, September 8 in 1565 A Spanish expedition established the first permanent European settlement in North America at present-day St. Augustine, FL. 1664 The Dutch were forced to surrender New Amsterdam to the British, who then renamed it New York. 1866 The first recorded birth of sextuplets took place in Chicago, IL. The parents were James and Jennie Bushnell. 1892 An early version of "The Pledge of Allegiance" appeared in "The Youth's Companion." 1893 In New Zealand, the Electoral Act 1893 was passed by the Legislative Council. It was consented by the governor on September 19 giving all women in New Zealand the right to vote. 1935 U.S. Senator Huey P. Long, "The Kingfish" of Louisiana politics, was shot and mortally wounded. He died two days later. 1945 In Washington, DC, a bus equipped with a two-way radio was put into service for the first time. 1945 Bess Myerson of New York was crowned Miss America. She was the first Jewish contestant to win the title. 1951 A peace treaty with Japan was signed by 48 other nations in San Francisco, CA. 1960 NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center in Huntsville, AL, was dedicated by U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower. The facility had been activated in July earlier that year. 1966 NBC-TV aired the first episode of "Star Trek" entitled "The Man Trap". The show was canceled on September 2, 1969. 1974 U.S. President Ford granted an unconditional pardon to former U.S. President Nixon. 1975 In Boston, MA, public schools began their court-ordered citywide busing program amid scattered incidents of violence. 1997 America Online acquired CompuServe. 1999 Russia's Mission Control switched off the Mir space station's central computer and other systems to save energy during a planned six months of unmanned flights. 2015 British researchers announced that evidence of a larger version of Stonehenge had been located about 2 miles from the Stonehenge location. There were 90 buried stones that had been found by ground penetrating radar. 2019 Do smiled.