Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, February 25 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, February 25, in 1933, The aircraft carrier Ranger was launched. It was the first ship in the U.S. Navy to be designed and built from the keel up as an aircraft carrier. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Mom of Chicago train robbery suspect recognized him, drug him to police station. ___________________________________________________ The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders. --- Foster's Law ___________________________________________________ At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't heard the question. "Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question." "I'm sorry, your Honor," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you." ___________________________________________________ "If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one student rose. "Now then, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" inquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said Do, "but I hate to see you standing all by yourself." ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she found the children in perfect order. Everybody was sitting absolutely quiet. She was shocked and stunned and said, "I've never seen anything like it before. This is wonderful. But, please tell me, what came over all of you? Why are you so well behaved and quiet?" Finally, after much urging, Do spoke up and said, "Well, one time you said that if you ever came back and found us quiet, you would drop dead." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Zion Brown, Chicago, Illinois, USA Mom of Chicago train robbery suspect recognizes him, drags him to police station The suspect sought in a Chicago train robbery has been identified as a Loyola University student recognized by his own mother, who reportedly dragged him into the police station to turn himself in. Zion Brown, a student at Loyola University Chicago, has been charged with armed robbery after allegedly stealing about $110 in cash at gunpoint from a Metra train conductor Tuesday afternoon, CWB Chicago reported. After recognizing photos of a masked suspect seen glancing into a station security camera shared by police and reported by the media as her son, Browns mother brought him into a police station in Calumet City for him to turn himself in, the outlet reported. The detail was revealed at Browns bond hearing, where he was represented by a private defense attorney, who argued his client was hungry and was looking for something to eat. In this surveillance photo, the suspect is seen holding the semi-automatic handgun near his waist while walking down the platform and away from a train conductor who has his hands raised. (Metra Police Department) Brown reportedly attended class after the armed hold up, and his lawyer asked the judge to remember her own days as a hungry college kid in determining his bail. Cook County Judge Maryam Ahmad ordered Brown held without bail, Loyola Phoenix reported, citing the Cook County States Attorney Office. According to CWB, Ahmad rejected the defense attorneys argument, saying as a hungry college kid she herself would have never thought to rob someone, and granted the States request for no bail. Browns next court appearance is scheduled for March 4. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Anna Re: Inventory Dear Webby In the 80s you used to have a program for doing a complete inventory of my computer. Yes, long before the Internet. Do you still have hat? I want to do a complete inventory before brining my W10 klunker into town for repair. Anna Dear Anna Yes, the Belarc Advisor is still available, and just as important as it always was. Belarc One word of caution: If you have an old machine or a full harddrive, save the result onto a camera chip. Don't print it, if you are in a hurry. The result is extremely thorough and will use a big stack of paper. Have FUN! DearWebby Two good Catholic boys passed an Episcopalian minister. At the sight of the reversed collar, one of them automatically said, "Hello, Father." The other boy elbowed him in the ribs. "He's no father, you dummy," said the second youth, "He's married and got three kids!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ The most remarkable thing about Ernie's mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. ______________________________________________ "I'm so worried," the nervous patient said as the nurse plumped up his pillows. "Last week, I read about a man who was in the hospital because of heart trouble and he died of malaria." "Relax" the nurse said, smiling. "This is a first-rate hospital. When we treat someone for heart trouble, he dies of heart trouble." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer? Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer. ___________________________________________________ | Today, February 25, in 1570, England's Queen Elizabeth I was excommunicated by Pope Pius V. 1751, Edward Willet displayed the first trained monkey act in the U.S. 1791, First Bank of the United States (The President, Directors and Company, of the Bank of the United States) was chartered by the U.S. Congress and signed by President Washington. 1793, The department heads of the U.S. government met with U.S. President Washington for the first Cabinet meeting on U.S. record. 1836, Samuel Colt received U.S. Patent No. 138 (later 9430X) for a "revolving-cylinder pistol." It was his first patent. 1901, The United States Steel Corp. was incorporated by J.P. Morgan. 1913, The 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. It authorized a Marxist style graduated income tax. 1919, The state of Oregon became the first state to place a tax on gasoline. The tax was 1 cent per gallon. 1928, The Federal Radio Commission issued the first U.S. television license to Charles Jenkins Laboratories in Washington, DC. 1930, The bank check photographing device was patented. 1933, The aircraft carrier Ranger was launched. It was the first ship in the U.S. Navy to be designed and built from the keel up as an aircraft carrier. 1837, Thomas Davenport patented the first commercial electrical motor. There was no practical electical distribution system available and Davenport went bankrupt. 1940, The New York Rangers and the Montreal Canadiens played in the first hockey game to be televised in the U.S. The game was aired on W2WBS in New York with one camera in a fixed position. The Rangers beat the Canadiens 6-2. 1948, Communists seized power in Czechoslovakia. 1956, Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev criticized the late Josef Stalin in a speech before a Communist Party congress in Moscow. 1972, Germany gave a $5 million ransom to Arab terrorists who had hijacked a jumbo jet. 1986, Filippino President Ferdinand E. Marcos fled the Philippines after 20 years of rule after a tainted election. 1999, William King was sentenced to death for the racial murder of James Byrd Jr in Jasper, TX. Two other men charged were later convicted for their involvement. 1999, In Moscow, China's Prime Minister Zhu Rongji and Russia's President Boris Yeltsin discussed trade and other issues. 2000, In Albany, NY, a jury acquitted four New York City police officers of second-degree murder and lesser charges in the February 1999 shooting death of Amadou Diallo. 2005, Dennis Rader was arrested for the BTK serial killings in Wichita, KS. He later pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 10 life prison terms. 2020, In Seattle, WA, Amazon opened its first Amazon Go Grocery store. 2022 Do smiled. |
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