Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, July 20, 2022 ___________________________________________________ History on this day, July 20, in 1969, Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin E. Aldrin, Jr. became the first men to walk on the moon. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Georgia driver hit pedestrians, ram patrol cars during traffic stop __________________________________________________ Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety. --- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992) _________________________________________________ >From Mona Catching her in the act, I confronted our 3-year-old granddaughter, "Are you eating your little sister's grapes?" I demanded. "No," she innocently replied, "I'm helping her share." __________________________________________________ The Government executive had been complaining to his wife of aches and pains. Neither one could account for his trouble. Arriving home from work one night, he informed her. "I finally discovered why I've been feeling so miserable. We got some ultra-modern office furniture two weeks ago, and I just learned today that I've been sitting in the wastebasket. __________________________________________________ >Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sierra Hibbert, 24, Warner Robins, Georgia, USA Georgia driver hit pedestrians, ram patrol cars during traffic stop According to the Byron Police Department, it happened on Friday. Byron police officers were told to be on the lookout for an SUV driving recklessly on Georgia Hwy. 42 towards Byron. The caller told officers that the driver was weaving into the opposite lane, nearly hitting oncoming vehicles. As the vehicle made it to the intersection of Hwy. 42 and Hwy. 49, witnesses blocked the driver in. When Byron police arrived, they tried to talk to the driver, who was uncooperative and refused officers' commands. Police put Stop Sticks under the SUV's tires so they would deflate if the driver attempted to leave. After a few minutes, the driver backed into a stopped car behind her, then pulled forward, hitting a Byron police officer and a police car. The driver backed up again, pulled forward once more, and hit two more witnesses and another police car before driving off on Hwy. 49 with a flat tire due to the Stop Sticks. Police tried to block the car again, and she back into a third police car, then drove foward, hitting another police car for the second time. According to police, the driver caused serious damage to this vehicle. The suspect continued north on Hwy. 49 for a short distance before officers were able to block her in and take her into custody. The driver was identified as 24-year-old Sierra Hibbert, of Warner Robins. Hibbert had a small child in the vehicle with her, who was not hurt in this incident. No officers or citizens were seriously injured. _____________________________________________________ Coming out of church, Mrs. Smith asked her husband, "Do you think that Johnson girl is tinting her hair?" "I didn't even see her," admitted Mr. Smith. "And that dress Mrs. Davis was wearing," continued Mrs. Smith, "Really, don't tell me you think that's the proper outfit for a mother of two." "I'm afraid I didn't notice that either," said Mr. Smith. "Pauline seems to be pregnant again. Her fifth!" "I did not notice Pauline." "Surely you noticed Julie! She must be over her divorce and either invested in Silicone, or is stuffing her bra!" "Julie who?" "Oh, for heaven's sake," snapped Mrs. Smith. "A lot of good it does you to go to church." _____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Barb RE: Web Speed Dear Webby My Internet is getting slower and slower. How do I check the actual speed, without blaming it on my computer? I want to know what it is before I start yelling at my ISP. Barb Dear Barb You can try OOKLA https://www.speedtest.net/ and even embed that into your browser, so that you can conveniently test at any time. It will just be a little icon at the top. You hit that, and it will do a test. A really easy to remember test is at Fast.com There are many others, but those two are the most popular ones. Have FUN! DearWebby ________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________ A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions. "Davy, what noise does a cow make?" "It goes moo." "Alice, what noise does a cat make?" "It goes meow." "Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?" "It goes baaah." "Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?" "Errr.., it goes.. click!" ___________________________________________________ In 1990 a woman entered a Haagen-Dazs in the Kansas City Plaza for an ice-cream cone. While she was ordering, another customer entered the store. She placed her order, turned and found herself face to face with Paul Newman. He was in town filming a movie. His blue eyes made her knees buckle. She finished paying and quickly walked out of the store, her heart still pounding. Gaining her composure she suddenly realized she didn't have her cone; she turned to go back in. At the door she again came face-to-face with Paul Newman who was coming out. He said to her, "Are you looking for your ice-cream cone?" Unable to utter a word she nodded yes. "You put it in your purse with your change." __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, please hit paypal with it! ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated Wash. Biol. Surv. until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper: "Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible." The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________________ Used to being the center of attention, Robbie was a little more than jealous of his new baby sister. The parents sat him down and said that now that she was getting older, the house was too small and they'd have to move. "It's no use." Robbie said, "She's crawling good now and she'd probably just follow us." _____________________________________________________ Rainbow Lorikeet ____________________________________________________ It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising online) were the main reason for the long line that formed in front of the store by 8:30, the store's opening time. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curses. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, & knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line, "That does it! If they hit me one more time, I'm not opening the store!" ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
| Today, July 20, in 1801, A 1,235 pound cheese ball was pressed at the farm of Elisha Brown, Jr. The ball of cheese was later loaded on a horse-driven wagon and presented to U.S. President Thomas Jefferson at the White House. 1810, Colombia declared independence from Spain. 1868, Legislation that ordered U.S. tax stamps to be placed on all cigarette packs was passed. 1871, British Columbia joined Confederation as a Canadian province. 1881, Sioux Indian leader Sitting Bull, a fugitive since the Battle of the Little Big Horn, surrendered to federal troops. (Montana) 1917, The draft lottery in World War I went into operation. 1935, NBC radio debuted "G-men." The show was later renamed "Gangbusters." 1942, The first detachment of the Women's Army Auxiliary Corps, (WACS) began basic training at Fort Des Moines, Iowa. 1944, An attempt by a group of German officials to assassinate Adolf Hitler failed. The bomb exploded at Hitler's Rastenburg headquarters. Hitler was only wounded. 1944, U.S. President Roosevelt was nominated for an unprecedented fourth term of office at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago. 1961, "Stop the World, I Want to Get Off" opened in London. 1969, Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin E. Aldrin, Jr. became the first men to walk on the moon. 1974, Turkish forces invaded Cyprus. 1976, America's Viking I robot spacecraft made a successful landing on Mars. 1982, U.S. President Ronald Reagan pulled the U.S. out of comprehensive test ban negotiations indefinitely. 1985, Treasure hunters began raising $400 million in coins and silver from the Spanish galleon "Nuestra Senora de Atocha." The ship sank in 1622 40 miles off the coast of Key West, FL. 1992, Vaclav Havel, the playwright who led the Velvet Revolution against communism, stepped down as president of Czechoslovakia. 1998, Russia won a $11.2 billion loan from the International Monetary Fund to help avert the devaluation of its currency. 2003, In India, elephants used for commercial work began wearing reflectors to avoid being hit by cars during night work. 2022 Do! smiled. |
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