Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, October 25 home4christmas.com is for sale! Make an offer! $50 minimum. You can use it for anything you want. Liberal students in Arizona State University majoring in Wimpology claim they got PTSD because of Hillary losing the election and Trump being President. Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:  Woman shoots grandson for repeatedly putting cup of tea on her good furniture  ______________________________________________________ Today, October 25 in 1955 The microwave oven, for home use, was introduced by The Tappan Company. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it. --- Bill Nye ______________________________________________________ Two priests and a rabbi are playing poker in the park. Suddenly, a police officer approaches the trio and asks the first priest, "Father, were you gambling?" The padre glances skyward and mumbles, "Forgive me, Jesus," then turns to the officer and says, "No, my son, I was not gambling." The lawman then turns to the second priest and asks him if he was gambling. The priest looks toward Heaven and says under his breath, "Forgive me, Jesus," then tells the officer, "No, my son, I was not gambling." The policeman then turns to the rabbi and says, "Rabbi, were you gambling?" The rabbi looks from one priest to the other, then turns to the officer and asks, "With who?" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Minister at a funeral service, "Friends, let us say goodbye to our beloved, departed friend. Let us remember that here lies only the shell--the nut has gone!" _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ >From Lise When we put our house up for sale, I stressed emphatically that my sons make their beds each morning. I left for work before they left for school, and I wanted to be sure that the house looked presentable when the agent showed it to prospective buyers. I was surprised and impressed that my 15-year-old son's bed was perfectly made each day. One night when I went into his room, I discovered his secret. He was fast asleep on the floor in his sleeping bag. ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________  Reported by Judy An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Helen Washington, 75, Brooklyn Center, Minnesota  Woman shoots grandson for repeatedly putting cup of tea on her good furniture  A Brooklyn Center woman faces assault charges after she allegedly shot her grandson in a dispute over a teacup. According to a report in the Star Tribune, 75-year-old Helen Washington shot the victim when he placed the cup on her furniture. She warned him not to put the cup there, and dumped the tea out. He got another cup of tea and again put it on the furniture. That's when she allegedly pulled out a gun and shot her grandson. She now faces second-degree assault charges. The incident happened Oct. 12 at Washington's Brooklyn Center home. The victim was shot in the thigh. She told police that she doesn't think she deserves to go to jail, according to the report. She has been released from Hennepin County Jail and is expected to make a court appearance in December. The real bonehead, though, is the grandson.  From: Fran Re: Ink or Laser printer  Dear Webby I know, you answered this years ago, but I forgot. What kind of printer should I get this time? I basically just print copies of bills I pay online. Thanks Fran  Dear Fran If you don't print at least 3 times per week, you get ripped off with the drying out ink jets. If you print more than 3 times a week, then you get ripped off with exorbitant ink prices. Get a laser. Since you are just printing invoice receipts, you can get a cheap black laser. Black toner is really cheap and the cartridges last a long time. Laser toner does not dry out. It is already a dry powder. With a Laser you never come home from a vacation to find your printer dried out. A laser takes 10 seconds to warm up before the first print, but after that is much faster than an ink jet printer. Have FUN! DearWebby  
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 Manning the computer help desk for the local school district was my first job. And though I was just an intern, I took the job very seriously. But not every caller took me seriously. "Can I talk to a real person?" a caller asked. "I am real," I said. "Oh, I'm sorry," the caller said. "That was rude of me. What I meant to say was, could I talk to someone who actually knows something?" 
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 The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words: Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I thought my windows were down but I found out it was up when I put my head through it. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother- in-law and headed over the embankment. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprange up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car. I had been driving for 40 years when I feel asleep at the wheel and had an accident. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished. I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run so I ran over him. I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentlemen as he bounced off the hood of my car. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows. The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end. ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Thanksgiving Preparation One week prior, I buy all the canned goods, clean out the fridge, and start thawing the turkey. The day prior, I make most of the side dishes, desserts, and make one final grocery run. Then all I have to do on Thanksgiving is make the turkey.  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
 
 
 A breathtaking flower tunnel bursting with beautiful golden blossoms in Wales. 
 ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this report: When I was a newly commissioned Lieutenant in the Army, I was assigned as a temporary assistant in an administrative office in a Military Intelligence unit. One day, a long memo came around with a cover sheet instructing all assigned officers to read it and initial it as indication of their compliance. I figured it meant me too, so I read and initialed it. But, a few days later, it came back addressed specifically to me. An attached note read, "You are not permanently assigned to this unit and are thus not an authorized signee. Please erase your initials and initial your erasure." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue. Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove home.  
 Today October 25 in 1415 In Northern France, England won the Battle of Agincourt over France during the Hundred Years' War. Almost 6000 Frenchmen were killed while fewer than 400 were lost by the English. 1812 During the War of 1812, the U.S. frigate United States captured the British vessel Macedonian. 1854 The Charge of the Light Brigade took place during the Crimean War. The British were winning the Battle of Balaclava when Lord James Cardigan received an order to attack the Russians. He took his troops into a valley and suffered 40 percent caualties. Later it was revealed that the order was the result of confusion and was not given intentionally. 1870 The first U.S. trademark was given. The recipient was the Averill Chemical Paint Company of New York City. 1917 The Bolsheviks (Communists) under Vladimir Ilyich Lenin seized power in Russia. 1929 Alber B. Fall, of U.S. President Harding's cabinet, was found guilty of taking a bribe. He was sentenced to a year in prison and fined $100,000. 1951 In Panmunjom, peace talks concerning the Korean War resumed after 63 days. 1955 The microwave oven, for home use, was introduced by The Tappan Company. 1958 U.S. Marines withdrew from Beirut, Lebanon. They had been sent in on July 25, 1958, to protect the nation's pro-Western government. 1960 The Accutron watch by the Bulova Watch Company was introduced. 1962 U.S. Ambassador Adlai Stevenson presented photographic evidence to the United Nations Security Council. The photos were of Soviet missile bases in Cuba. 1971 The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and admit mainland China. 1983 U.S. troops and soldiers from six Caribbean nations invaded Grenada to restore order and provide protection to U.S. citizens after a recent coup within Grenada's Communist (pro-Cuban) government. 1990 It was announced by U.S. Defense Secretary Dick Cheney that the Pentagon was planning to send 100,000 more troops to Saudi Arabia. 2000 AT&T Corp. announced that it would restructure into a family of four separately traded companies (consumer, business, broadband and wireless). 2001 It was announced that scientists had unearthed the remains of an ancient crocodile which lived 110 million years ago. The animal, found in Gadoufaoua, Niger, grew as long as 40 feet and weighed as much as eight metric tons. 2018 Do smiled. 
 

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