Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, September 27 ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Louisville Police Arrest Larynzo Johnson over Shooting of Two Louisville Metro Police _____________________________________________________ Today, September 26 in 1825 George Stephenson operated the first locomotive that hauled a passenger train. _____________________________________________________ If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough --- Mario Andretti (1940 - ) _____________________________________________________ A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in a long, long line for judgment. As he stood there he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the Gates of Heaven; others, though, were led over to Satan, who threw them into a burning pit of fire. Every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss him (or her) to one side. After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's curiosity got the better of him and he strolled over and tapped Satan on the shoulder. "Excuse me, there, Prince of Darkness," he said. "I'm waiting in line for judgment, but I couldn't help wondering why you are tossing those people aside instead of flinging them into the fires of hell with the others?" "Ah", Satan said with a grin. "They are people from Seattle; they're still too wet to burn!" _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Morris walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Dave." "Who?" "Dave Aronson. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Dave." "There are always a few clouds over everybody," says Morris. "Not Dave. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star." "He was something, huh?" "He had a memory like a trap. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and I black out the whole neighborhood." "No wonder you remember him." "Well, I never actually met Dave." "Then how do you know so much about him?" asks Morris. "Because I married his widow." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Larynzo Johnson, 26, Louisville, Kentucky, USA Louisville Police Arrest Larynzo Johnson over Shooting of Two Louisville Metro Police Officers Johnson, 26, was arrested at 8:40 p.m. and will face multiple charges of first-degree assault of a police officer and first- degree wanton endangerment, according to the Courier-Journal. Johnson is accused of shooting the two officers around 8:30 p.m. Wednesday. His arrest citation outlines his actions allegedly showed an extreme indifference to the value of human life and put officers at the scene in danger of death or serious injury, according to the paper. Johnson is alleged to have fired a handgun multiple times at LMPD officers responding to a crowd in downtown Louisville that had set fires and refused to disperse. The officers were seriously injured. One was hit in the thigh and another was hit in the abdomen. They are both in stable condition and expected to survive. CNN identified them as Officer Robinson Desroches and Major Aubrey Gregory. Protests in Louisville and across the country began after the grand jury indicted one officer involved in the March raid that resulted in Taylors death with three counts of wanton endangerment, but no murder charges. A U-Haul was spotted in Louisville filled with protest signs and other demonstration gear and equipment in anticipation of the decision and the riot. Louisville police major Bridget Hallahan was fired for calling out Antifa, BLM punks in email to colleagues. Louisville town offricials are firmly on the side of the rioters. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Tom RE: Info about what is in computer Dear Webby, Are you disenchanted with W10 because some cutie at Microsoft told you to go to hell, or because W10 is a piece of crap? You have answered this before, but due to my gallopping senility, not as bad as Sleepy Joe's, but noticeable, I can't remember your answer. How do I get the info about what is in my computer? Tom Dear Tom Cuties at Microsoft? The short inventory of your computer is at Windows key and Pause key. The long inventory is in the Belarc Advisor. You can download it from my tool box at http://webby.com/tools It IS very long and lists everything. You can print it out for insurance purposes. They will take a brief look at the stack of papers and agree that your machine is worth $15,000 or more. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ One evening in a bar, the conversation got around to Bobs pet peeve and he started "venting." "All polititians are jerks," he loudly proclaimed. Another man nearby heard this, looked disturbed, and sauntered over to him. "Look, I heard what you said, and I am highly offended by it." "Why is that-are you a polititia?" he asked. "No, I'm not; I'm a jerk!" ____________________________________________ A second grade class had just come in from recess, and the teacher, figuring to start on the spelling section of the day turned to Alice, and asked, "What did you do for recess today?" Alice responded, "I played in the sandbox." "That sounds like fun, now, if you can spell 'sand' on the blackboard, I'll give you a freshly baked cookie." the teacher responded. Alice went to the blackboard, spelled the word correctly, got her cookie, and took her seat. The teacher then turned to Michael, and asked him, "What did you do at recess today?" "I played with Alice in the sandbox." he responded. "If you can spell 'box' on the blackboard, I'll give you a freshly baked cookie." He goes the the blackboard, spells the word box, gets his cookie, and returns to his seat. Next, the teacher turns to Arafat Futh, and asks him, "Arafat, what did you do for recess today?" "Well, I tried to play with Alice and Michael in the sandbox, but they threw rocks at me and said I was a stinking Bangli." he said. The teacher, wide-eyed, responds, "Well that sounds like blatant, racial discrimination. I'll tell you what Arafat, if you can spell blatant, racial discrimination on the blackboard, I'll give you a freshly baked cookie." ____________________________________________ >From Maryann I was teaching my 6-year-old daughter how to unbuckle her seat belt. She asked, "Do I click the square?" I said yes. She asked me, "Single click or double click?" ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today September 27 in 1779 John Adams was elected to negotiate with the British over the American Revolutionary War peace terms. 1825 George Stephenson operated the first locomotive that hauled a passenger train. 1928 The U.S. announced that it would recognize the Nationalist Chinese Government (Taiwan). 1938 The League of Nations branded the Japanese as aggressors in China. 1939 After 19 days of mostly symbolic resistance, Warsaw, Poland, surrendered to the Germans after being invaded by the Nazis and the Soviet Union. England used that as the reason to start World War II against Germany, but not against Russia. 1940 The Berlin-Rome-Tokyo Axis was set up. The military and economic pact was for 10 years between Germany, Italy and Japan. 1962 The U.S. sold Hawk anti-aircraft missiles to Israel. 1968 The U.K.'s entry into the European Common Market was barred by France. 1973 U.S. Vice President Spiro Agnew said he would not resign after he pled "no contest" to a charge of tax evasion. He did resign on October 10th. 1982 Italian and French soldiers entered the Sabra and Chatilla refugee camps in Beirut. The move was made by the members of a multinational force due to hundreds of Palestinians being massacred by Christian militiamen. 1989 Columbia Pictures Entertainment agreed to buy out Sony Corporation for $3.4 billion. 1989 Two men went over the 176-foot-high Niagara Falls in a barrel. Jeffrey Petkovich and Peter Debernardi were the first to ever survive the Horshoe Falls. 1990 The deposed emir of Kuwait addressed the U.N. General Assembly and denounced the "rape, destruction and terror" that Iraq had inflicted upon his country. 1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush eliminated all land-based tactical nuclear arms and removed all short-range nuclear arms from ships and submarines around the world. Bush then called on the Soviet Union to do the same. 1994 More than 350 Republican congressional candidates signed the Contract with America. It was a 10-point platform they pledged to enact if voters sent a GOP majority to the House. 2004 North Korean Vice Foreign Minister Choe Su Hon announced that North Korea had turned plutonium from 8,000 spent nuclear fuel rods into nuclear weapons. He also said that the weapons were to serve as a deterrent against increasing U.S. nuclear threats and to prevent nuclear war in northeast Asia. The U.S. State Department noted that the U.S. has repeatedly said that the U.S. has no plans to attack North Korea. 2015 The space probe Dawn was launched by NASA. Dawn entered orbit around protoplanet Vesta on July 16, 2011 and entered orbit around Ceres on March 6, 2015. 2020 Do smiled. |
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