Good Morning, ! Today is Wednesday, Sept 27 Thank You, Karl!!! __________________________________________________ Q Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. --- Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931) ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Burglar shot at cops, got killed by police in Mesa ___________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ History On This Day, Sept 27, in 1968- The U.K.'s entry into the European Common Market was barred by France. ____________________________________________________ An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating a proposal. "Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend. "Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're 90." __________________________________________________________ >From Rosie While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class almost 50 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been my classmate. After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school. "Yes," he replied. "When did you graduate?" I asked. He answered, "In 1953." "Why, you were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely and then asked, "What did you teach?" He needs new dentures now. __________________________________________________ Photo by Trudy Marie __________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ >From Anna Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of severe abdominal pains. We rushed to the emergency room, where they gave him a series of tests to determine the source of the pain. My husband decided not to have me call in sick for him until we knew what was wrong. When the results came back, the nurse informed us that, true to our suspicions, he was suffering from a kidney stone. I turned to my husband and asked, "Would you like me to call the funeral home now?" With an alarmed look, the nurse quickly said, "Ma'am, he's not THAT sick!" ___________________________________________________ A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you all understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17." The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many people had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark only has 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying." __________________________________________________ RARE Giant Natural Ammonite from Alberta, Canada. With the rare purple and blue colors.This giant Ammonite fossil is around 71 million years old. From Ana _____________________________________________________ Dearwebby's Tech Support Pits From: Francine Re: Increase Picture size Dear Webby I have a bunch of old family pictures, that were pretty good at the time, but 200 x 150 is just nopt good enough now. How do I increase their size without making them look coarse and fuzzy? Thanks Francine Dear Francine First increase the color depth from 256 to 16 Million, increase the size to 600 x 450 and save it in PNG format. If the picture looks not too coarse, try to go to 800 x 600. Sometimes you can use the same tricks as painters use: Add a frame. It gives the FEEL of a larger picture. Have Fun! Dearwebby ________________________________________________ https://www.comedywildlifephoto.com/gallery/finalists/ 2019_finalists.php ___________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ "New York Driving Rules" Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Long Island driver never uses them. Use of them in Massapequa may be illegal. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane- change is considered "going with the flow." The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs. Electronic traffic warning signs are not there to provide useful information. They are only there to make Long Island look high-tech, and to distract you from seeing the state police radar car parked on the median. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions, and are apparently not enforceable during rush hour. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident, or even if someone is just changing a tire. Throwing litter on the roads adds color to the landscape and gives Adopt-a-Highway crews something to clean up. It is assumed that state police cars passing at high speed may be followed in the event you need to make up a few minutes on your way to work, or the beach. Heavy snow, ice, fog, and rain are no reasons to change any of the previously listed rules. These weather conditions are Lord's way of ensuring a natural selection process for body shops, junkyard, and new vehicle sales. ____________________________________________ A Bonehead Award Has Been Reported By Rock Joel Castaneda, 42, Mesa, Arizona, USA Burglar shot at cops, got killed by police in Mesa Police say an armed suspect who allegedly broke into his ex- girlfriend's house is dead following an officer-involved shooting late Sunday night in a Mesa neighborhood. The shooting happened just after 8:30 p.m. on Sept. 24 near Horne and Broadway Roads. Mesa Police say the incident began when officers responded to a burglary at a home in the area. A woman called 911 to report that her ex-boyfriend, 42-year-old Joel Castaneda, broke into her home. The woman told police that Castaneda left her home and may have gone to a friend's house nearby. Officers went to the friend's house, who said they knew Castaneda but weren't sure if he was inside. "The homeowner led officers to a room where Castaneda sometimes stays, and Castaneda immediately displayed a handgun and began firing at officers," police said. One officer returned fire at Casteneda, who was later found dead inside. No officers were hurt. Suicide by police/ _____________________________________________________ A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store. He does a double take. He knows that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars. The storeowner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale." The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you 20 dollars for that cat." And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat. The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish." The owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight stray cats from the shelter across the street, some of them more than once." __________________________________________________ Doug had always been teased by his friends that his wife was more successful than he was. Some even went so far as to insinuate that he was overshadowed by her and henpecked. Doug had a sense of humor and always laughed it off. One day, one of his fiends asked the tiresome question AGAIN, "Who wears the pants in your family?" "I do," replied Doug. Then, after a pause, he added, "I also wash and iron them." _________________________________________________ History On Sept 27, In 1779- John Adams was elected to negotiate with the British over the American Revolutionary War peace terms. 1825- George Stephenson operated the first locomotive that hauled a passenger train. 1894- The Aqueduct Race Track opened in New York City, NY. 1928- The U.S. announced that it would recognize the Nationalist Chinese Government. 1938- The League of Nations branded the Japanese as aggressors in China. 1939- After 19 days of resistance, Warsaw, Poland, surrendered to the Germans after being invaded by the Nazis and the Soviet Union during World War II. 1940- The Berlin-Rome-Tokyo Axis was set up. The military and economic pact was for 10 years between Germany, Italy and Japan. 1962- The U.S. sold Hawk anti-aircraft missiles to Israel. 1968- The U.K.'s entry into the European Common Market was barred by France. 1970- "The Original Amateur Hour" aired for the last time on CBS. It had been on television for 22 years. 1973- U.S. Vice President Spiro Agnew said he would not resign after he pled "no contest" to a charge of tax evasion. He did resign on October 10th. 1979- The Department of Education became the 13th Cabinet in U.S. history after the final approval from Congress. 1982- Italian and French soldiers entered the Sabra and Chatilla refugee camps in Beirut. The move was made by the members of a multinational force due to hundreds of Palestinians being massacred by Christian militiamen. 1989- Columbia Pictures Entertainment agreed to buyout Sony Corporation for $3.4 billion. 1989- Two men went over the 176-foot-high Niagara Falls in a barrel. Jeffrey Petkovich and Peter Debernardi were the first to ever survive the Horshoe Falls. 1990- The deposed emir of Kuwait addressed the U.N. General Assembly and denounced the "rape, destruction and terror" that Iraq had inflicted upon his country. 1991- U.S. President George H.W. Bush eliminated all land- based tactical nuclear arms and removed all short-range nuclear arms from ships and submarines around the world. Bush then called on the Soviet Union to do the same. 1994- More than 350 Republican congressional candidates signed the Contract with America. It was a 10-point platform they pledged to enact if voters sent a GOP majority to the House. 1995- The U.S. government unveiled the redesigned $100 bill. The bill featured a larger, off-center portrait of Benjamin Franklin. 1998- In Germany, Social Democrat Gerhard Schroeder was elected chancellor. The election ended 16 years of conservative rule. 2004- North Korean Vice Foreign Minister Choe Su Hon announced that North Korea had turned plutonium from 8,000 spent nuclear fuel rods into nuclear weapons. He also said that the weapons were to serve as a deterrent against increasing U.S. nuclear threats and to prevent nuclear war in northeast Asia. The U.S. State Department noted that the U.S. has repeatedly said that the U.S. has no plans to attack North Korea. 2015- The space probe Dawn was launched by NASA. Dawn entered orbit around protoplanet Vesta on July 16, 2011 and entered orbit around Ceres on March 6, 2015. 2023, ! Smiled. Have Fun Dearwebby
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