Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, January 8 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Police Arrest Karen Newton, Charge Her With Elderly Abuse. ____________________________________________________ Today, January 8, in 1908 A catastrophic train collision occurred in the smoke- filled Park Avenue Tunnel in New York City. Seventeen were killed and thirty-eight were injured. The accident caused a public outcry and increased demand for electric trains. ____________________________________________________ A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B. --- Fats Domino (1928 - ) ____________________________________________________ Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple. The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So, why's the groom wearing black?" ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing ?" Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "The twelve hundred students who went to move 26 cars can now return to class." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Karen Newton, Delray Beach, Florida, USA Police Arrest Karen Newton, Charge Her With Elderly Abuse. A Delray Beach woman allegedly unhappy that her father is living with a woman is now facing criminal charges of elderly abuse. Karen Newton allegedly battered her dad and the woman, and also poured soda on the womans head. This is the narrative of the police report filed by the Palm Beach County Sheriffs Office. We are only identifying the victims as Fred and Rose. Upon arrival, I met with Fred and Rose. The two were scared to open the door, they were obviously shaking and very nervous. Rose was almost in tears. It was evident that the two were in fear of letting someone into the home. Fred and Rose invited me in once they saw I was in fact a Law Enforcement Officer. Fred advised he was glad to see I was there and begged that I help keep his daughter away from them. Fred explained that his Daughter, Karen Newton, came to the residence last night. She walked into the residence and demanded that Rose leave the residence within the week. A verbal argument ensued, Karen then started pushing Fred and Rose as they attempted to go into the bathroom to get away from Karen. Karen grabbed the door handle keeping the door from shutting. She then grabbed Fred by his shirt and pulled him out of the bathroom, grabbing his right arm and pushing him back into the living room. Karen continued to yell that Fred was not going to spend his money and she would take all of it along with the car and his license. Rose was afraid that Karen was going to make Fred fall so she attempted to get between Karen and Fred. Karen pushed Rose away. Fred was able to grab Karens purse that was around her neck and arm, he pulled Karen to the front door where he and Rose pushed her out the front door. There were several bruises on Freds hands, arms and back. The bruise on his right arm was consistent with a hand grabbing the arm. Rose has broken blood vessel in her eye fem the stress, no bruises present from being pushed. Rose went on to explain that they need some type of protection from Freds daughter, On December 28/2021 Karen came to the residence with papers. She demanded Rose sign the papers. When Rose refused to sign, Karen took soda and poured it on her head, then splashed her face, throwing a dish towel at her. Rose advised she was going to call the police, Karen locked the front door and took her phone. Karen then pushed Rose around in the kitchen where she hit her back against the stove. No bruising present at this time. At this time Karen Newton is the primary aggressor and is in violation of FSS 825,102 2A Domestic elder abuse on person over 65 yo, elder abuse battery on a person over the age of 65 yoa, and hindering communication with a LEO. Karen Newton was taken Into custody handcuffed per Dept. policy and transported to the Palm Beach County Jail. Karen Newton, who lives in the 400 block of 29th Street in Boca Raton, was booked into jail around 5:45 p.m. on January 4th. She was released on her own recognizance around 9 p.m. on January 5th. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Beckie Re: Hypnotized Dear Webby I almost bought some CBD oil and gummies, but my mother stopped me nd quoted YOU, well actually Shakespeare. "Me thinks thou talks too much." That reminded me of you telling us that if some thilly hypnotist uses 5 or more pages to con me into buying stuff, then it is guaranteed phony. Does that apply to CBD stuff too? Becky Dear Becky Yes, it does. Twice! Not only is their crap totally useless, but they claim that you signed up for automatic renewal orders in the small print. Do NOT order stuff, that takes 5 pages to con you! Just trash it. Don't even tell them what to do with a billy goat. They will claim that you signed up for renewal orders. Just trash it. Have FUN! DearWebby A little old lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot identify their sexes. She calls the shop, and the man there advises her to watch them carefully and all would become clear in time. She spends weeks staring at the cage and eventually catches them doing what comes naturally. To make sure she doesn't get them mixed up again, she cuts out a strip from a piece of cardboard and glues it like a collar round the male parrot's neck. A while later, the local priest visits the old lady. The male parrot takes one look at the father's collar, wolf whistles, and says, "I see she caught YOU at it, too." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
Please donate a dollar,
or two, if you can afford it!
Please, help me stay online!
|
_____________________________________________ A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he got out. When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?" The kangaroo said, "About a hundred and fifty feet, unless somebody starts locking the gate at night." ______________________________________________ Here is an oldie-goldie that came back, like all good jokes do. A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars. The store owner replies "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale." The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat." And the owner says, "Sold," and hands over the cat. The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish." And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week, I've sold sixty-eight stray cats." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
It was little Harry's first visit to the country, and feeding the chickens fascinated him. Late one evening he caught his first glimpse of a peacock strutting in the yard, feathers spread beautifully in all its glory. Rushing indoors excitedly, Harry called out for his grandma. . . . "Gramma, Gramma, come see! Come see!" he exclaimed. "One of your chickens is in bloom!" ___________________________________________________ | Today, January 8, in 1642 Astronomer Galileo Galilei died in Arcetri, Italy. 1675 The first corporation was chartered in the United States. The company was the New York Fishing Company. 1790 In the United States, George Washington delivered the first State of the Union address. 1815 The Battle of New Orleans began. The War of 1812 had officially ended on December 24, 1814, with the signing of the Treaty of Ghent. The news of the signing had not reached British troops in time to prevent their attack on New Orleans. 1838 Alfred Vail demonstrated a telegraph code he had devised using dots and dashes as letters. The code was the predecessor to Samuel Morse's code. 1853 A bronze statue of Andrew Jackson on a horse was unveiled in Lafayette Park in Washington, DC. The statue was the work of Clark Mills. 1856 Borax (hydrated sodium borate) was discovered by Dr. John Veatch. 1877 Crazy Horse (Tashunca-uitco) and his warriors fought their final battle against the U.S. Cavalry in Montana. 1886 The Severn Railway Tunnel, Britain's longest, was opened. 1889 The tabulating machine was patented by Dr. Herman Hollerith. His firm, Tabulating Machine Company, later became International Business Machines Corporation (IBM). 1894 Fire caused serious damage at the World's Columbian Exposition in Chicago, IL. 1900 U.S. President McKinley placed Alaska under military rule. 1900 In South Africa, General White turned back the Boers attack of Ladysmith. 1908 A catastrophic train collision occurred in the smoke- filled Park Avenue Tunnel in New York City. Seventeen were killed and thirty-eight were injured. The accident caused a public outcry and increased demand for electric trains. 1916 During World War I, the final withdrawal of Allied troops from Gallipoli took place. 1918 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson announced his Fourteen Points as the basis for peace upon the end of World War I. 1935 The spectrophotometer was patented by A.C. Hardy. 1958 Bobby Fisher, at the age of 14, won the United States Chess Championship for the first time. 1959 Charles De Gaulle was inaugurated as president of France's Fifth Republic. 1964 U.S. President Lyndon Johnson declared a "War on Poverty." 1962 Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa was exhibited in America for the first time at the National Gallery of Art in Washington, DC. The next day the exhibit opened to the public. 1973 Secret peace talks between the United States and North Vietnam resumed near Paris, France. 1973 The trial opened in Washington, of seven men accused of bugging Democratic Party headquarters in the Watergate apartment complex in Washington, DC. 1982 American Telephone & Telegraph (AT&T) settled the Justice Department's antitrust lawsuit against it by agreeing to divest itself of the 22 Bell System companies. 1982 The U.S. Justice Department withdrew an antitrust suit against IBM. 1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush collapsed during a state dinner in Tokyo. White House officials said Bush was suffering from stomach flu. 1993 Bosnian President Izetbegovic visited the U.S. to plead his government's case for Western military aid and intervention to halt Serbian aggression. 1994 Tonya Harding won the ladies' U.S. Figure Skating Championship in Detroit, MI, a day after Nancy Kerrigan dropped out because of a clubbing attack that injured her right knee. The U.S. Figure Skating Association later took the title from Harding because of her involvement in the attack. 1998 Ramzi Yousef was sentenced to life in prison for his role of mastermind behind the World Trade Center bombing in New York. 1998 Scientists announced that they had discovered that galaxies were accelerating and moving apart and at faster speeds. 1999 The top two executives of Salt Lake City's Olympic Organizing Committee resigned amid disclosures that civic boosters had given cash to members of the International Olympic Committee. 2009 In Egypt, archeologists entered a 4,300 year old pyramid and discovered the mummy of Queen Sesheshet. 2021 Do smiled. |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to [email protected]
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
[email protected]
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter | . |
