Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, September 28 ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Ohio woman admits Fiery Pussy 911 Call _____________________________________________________ Today, September 28 in 1850 U.S. President Millard Fillmore named Brigham Young the first governor of the Utah territory. In 1857, U.S. President James Buchanan removed Young from the position. _____________________________________________________ - More quotations on: [Drugs] Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors. --- Thomas H. Huxley (1825 - 1895) _____________________________________________________ >From Thea It's better to have loved and lost than to do sixty pounds of laundry a week! _____________________________________________________ Swainsons hawk Ron Kemp ___________________________________________________ >From Nicole Looking in the mall for a nightgown, I tried my luck in a store known for its sexy lingerie. To my delight, however, I found just what I was looking for. Waiting in the line to pay, I noticed a young woman behind me holding the same item. This confirmed what I suspected all along: despite being over 50, I still have a very "with it" attitude. "I see we have the same taste," I said proudly to the 20- something behind me. "Yes," she replied. "I'm getting this for my grandmother." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Katrina Morgan, 50, Port Clinton, Ohio, USA Ohio woman admits Fiery Pussy 911 Call The Ohio woman who recently called 911 to claim that my pussys on fire and, as a result, needed someone from the fire department to put it out with their hose, pleaded guilty today for her misuse of the emergency dispatch system. In a plea deal with prosecutors, Katrina Morgan, 50, copped to disorderly conduct with persistence, a misdemeanor, in connection with a late-night 911 call in May. Morgan was intoxicated when she placed the call while at a friends home in Port Clinton, a city on Lake Erie. After entering her plea in Ottawa County Municipal Court, Morgan was sentenced to 10 days in jail, though the execution of the sentence was suspended as long as she avoids trouble for the next year. She was also fined $250, but $150 of that penalty was suspended. Seen above, Morgan was initially charged with disrupting public service, a felony, and several misdemeanors. When a Port Clinton Police Department dispatcher answered Morgans 911 call, she said, I need the fire department please, cause my pussys on fire. I need to make sure their hose is working. Is their hose working? After the dispatcher asked What is on fire? Morgan replied, I need the fire department cause my pussys on fire. And I need somebody to come put it out with their hose. In the background, a female friend of Morgans can be heard squealing. After tracking Morgan down at her friends residence, cops took her into custody, but not without a struggle. It was only after an officer removed his taser from a holster that the agitated Morgan relented and got into the rear of a police cruiser. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Gerda RE: How to stop W10 from messing with icons Dear Webby, Another W10 "fan". NOT!!! How do you stop W10 from screwing around with icon placement on the desktop? I know some people are going to go to hell just from all the cussing and swearing they cause, but I need some help NOW! Gerda Dear Gerda It is still there, but just to get you and a billion others to cuss and swear, they hid it a layer deeper. Right-Click on the desktop VIEW take the checkmark OFF AutoArrange, the most idiotic "feature" in Windows take the checkmark OFF Align to grid That is all there is to it. Now your 756 icons will stay where YOU put them. To make life easier, you COULD group your icons, for example one group of spreadsheets, another group of documents, another group of wildlife (all your lovers), and so on. Then make a desktop folder for each of those categories, and drag the icons from each category into those folders. Your desktop will look bare and organized in a minute or five. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ At the construction site of a new church, the contractor stopped to chat with one of his workmen. "Patty," he asked casually, "didn't you once tell me that you had a brother who was a bishop?" "That I did." "And you are a bricklayer! It sure is a funny world. Things in life aren't divided equally, are they?" "No, that they ain't," agreed Patty, as he proudly slapped the mortar along the line of bricks. "My poor brother is such a klutz, he couldn't do this to save his life!" ____________________________________________ >From Bob During my stay at an expensive hotel in New York City, I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach. I called room service and ordered some soda crackers. When I looked at the charge slip, I was furious. I called room service and raged, "I know I'm in a luxury hotel, but $11.50 for six crackers is ridiculous!" "The crackers are complimentary," the voice at the other end cooly explained. "I believe you are complaining about your room number." ____________________________________________ >From Maureen YOU MIGHT BE IRISH IF You think St. Patrick's Day is THE major holiday of the year. You believe God created Ireland and the rest happened by accident. You think all beautiful women are Irish. You think Boston is in Ireland. You think England is the place you're condemned to if you're bad. You think Dublin is the world capital. You know what St. Stephen's Day is. You think that New Year's resolutions are fine -- for that night! You believe that all harps have a soul. You believe that all music is Irish -- originally. ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today September 28 in 1066 England was invaded by William the Conqueror who claimed the English throne. 1542 San Diego, CA, was discovered by Portuguese navigator Juan Rodriguez Cabrillo. 1687 The Turks surrendered Athens to the Venetians. 1781 During the Revolutionary War, American forces began the siege on Yorktown, VA. 1850 The U.S. Navy abolished flogging as a form of punishment. 1850 U.S. President Millard Fillmore named Brigham Young the first governor of the Utah territory. In 1857, U.S. President James Buchanan removed Young from the position. 1892 The first nighttime football game in the U.S. took place under electric lights. The game was between the Mansfield State Normal School and the Wyoming Seminary. 1915 The British defeated the Turks in Mesopotamia at Kut-el- Amara. 1924 The first around-the-world flight was completed by two U.S. Army planes when they landed in Seattle, WA. The trip took 175 days. 1939 Germany and the Soviet Union agreed upon a plan on the division of Poland. 1950 The United Nations admitted Indonesia. 1972 Communist China and Japan agreed to re-establish diplomatic relations. 1978 Heavy fighting occurred in Lebanon between Syrian peacekeeping troops and Lebanese Christian militiamen. 1978 Don Sherman, editor of Car & Driver, set a new Class E record in Utah. Driving the Mazda RX7 he reached a speed of 183.904 mph. 1991 In response to U.S. President Bush's reduction of U.S. nuclear arms Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev promised to reciprocate. 1995 Yasser Arafat of the PLO and Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin signed an accord that transferred control of the West Bank. 1997 The 103rd convention of the Audio Engineering Society (AES) was held in New York City, NY. The official debut of the DVD format was featured. 2000 The U.S. Federal Drug Administration approved the use of RU- 486 in the United States. The pill is used to induce an abortion. 2004 Nate Olive and Sarah Jones arrived at the U.S.-Mexico border to complete the first known continuous hike of the 1,800-mile trail down the U.S. Pacific Coast. They started the trek on June 8. 2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 2 billion applications downloaded. 2020 Do smiled. |
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