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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, November 28, 1520, Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the Pacific Ocean after passing through the South American strait. The strait was named after him. He was the first European to sail the Pacific from the east. ____________________________________________________ Bonehed Award: Ohio children's minister, boarding school worker facing 215 child porn charges in Alabama, $6.45 M bond _____________________________________________________ Q The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane. --- Nikola Tesla (1857 - 1943) ____________________________________________________ Jon was talking to Ben. "So, Ben, how's it going with the ladies?" "Women, to me, are nothing but sex objects." "Really?" "Yep," Ben shook his head, "Whenever I mention sex, they object." __________________________________________________ A kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher. The next gift was a box from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No" the boy replied. The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" The boy replied, "A puppy dog!" __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock: An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Steve Robert Wukmer, 66, Rainsville, Alabama, USA Ohio children's minister, boarding school worker facing 215 child porn charges in Alabama, $6.45 M bond An Alabama man charged last week with 215 counts of possession of child pornography once worked at a boarding school in Missouri and had been a children's minister in the state of Ohio, according to reports. The Rainsville Police Department says Steve Robert Wukmer, 66, was arrested at his place of employment in Fort Payne just before noon Nov. 15. The investigation into Wukmer began earlier in the month after police received a tip. Wukmer once worked at Agape Boarding School in southwest Missouri, former students told The Kansas City Star. "This guy was a full-time staff member at Agape when I was first there," Colton Schrag, who did two stints at the school from 2004 to 2010, said. "He was pretty friendly to boys at Agape. He was all over the 14 and younger boys in school. He always treated us better than most staff, but seeing the charges it makes sense now. Wukmer is being held in Alabamas DeKalb County Jail on $6.45 million bond, a jail employee told the newspaper Tuesday. ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Fed and local police went to arrest two drug dealers getting off a train at Chicago's Union Station (the big Amtrack station) yesterday. The dealers drew their guns; end result one cop wounded slightly, one druggy dead, the other wounded critically. On the radio they interviewed a bystander who was in the station- he complained that the police hadn't warned the people in the station that there was going to be gunfire. Seems he wanted a public address announcement like: "The police are going to try to arrest two gun-toting drug dealers. We have scheduled a gunfight. If you are innocent, please take cover. If you are the drug dealers, please don't listen to this announcement" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Green-breasted-Mango _________________________________________________ The boss ordered one of his men to dig a hole eight feet deep. After the job was completed the boss returned and explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn't be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered. The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem. He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole without leaving a mound on top. He went to the office and explained his problem. The boss snorted. "Geee! The kind of help you get these days! There's obviously only one thing to do. You'll have to dig that hole deeper!" _______________________________________________ An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife." __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ One of my first assignments as a trainee in an auto-body shop was a car needing a new fender and some door repairs. I spent hours doing a perfect job, but when the owner came to pick it up, he wasn't pleased. "What's wrong?" I asked. Pointing to the side of the car, he complained about the paint not matching, uneven gaps between panels, and a host of other problems. He demanded an explanation. "The repairs were to the other side," I noted. ________________________________________________________ Early in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up. However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. "Honey," my Dad finally said one day, "why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was 'forgive and forget.'" "It is," she said. "I just don't want you to forget that I've forgiven and forgotten." _____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________________ >From Eric I had given our daughter, who was 14 at the time, a driver's manual. On the way to town one day, I was coaching her as I drove. I told her to be studying her book so as to be ready when it came time to get her drivers permit. "Oh, she said, "I already know everything in the book." "You do?" I returned. "Yep", she said, very smugly. I thought, "OK, I'll give her a hard one." So I asked her, "How many feet does it take to stop the car if you are driving 60 miles an hour and have to slam on the brakes real hard?" "One," she replied. "What?" I asked. "One?!" She repeated her answer and then because of the con-fused look on my face, she added, "You always told me never to use my left foot on the brakes, only use my right one." __________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Don Re: How to recognize Scammers Dear Webby Wat is the easiest and quickest way to recognize scammers? Don Dear Don Most scammers seem to be using Ghanian grammer and skip the proof reading. The next trick is to ask them where they are. If they say "Here", that means Ghana. Dump the bastid. The same goes for "What do you do there?" If they answer "I live here". Ghana, or Nigeria, guaranteed. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A friend of mine was telling me her flight from Boston to New York was delayed, which meant she missed her connection home to Seattle. She joined a group of other passengers, all in the same boat, each hoping to book seats on the next flight out. All of the passengers waited patiently except for one man who treated the ticket agent very rudely. "I had an aisle seat reserved and I BETTER get an aisle seat when we get on another plane," he ranted and raved. A few minutes later the ticket agent announced that there would be room for everyone. "And, sir," she said, addressing the rude fella, "I'm happy to tell you that I was able to get you an aisle seat, sir." The man, still mutter, picked up his carry on, grabbed his boarding pass, and headed through the door. The agent continued, "And I'm also pleased to announce the rest of you will be seated in First Class." _____________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ Today, November 28, in 1520, Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the Pacific Ocean after passing through the South American strait. The strait was named after him. He was the first European to sail the Pacific from the east. 1582, William Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway were married. 1757, English poet, painter and engraver William Blake was born. Two of his best known works are "Songs of Innocence" and "Songs of Experience." 1919, American-born Lady Astor was elected the first female member of the British Parliament. 1922, Capt. Cyril Turner of the Royal Air Force gave the first public exhibition of skywriting. He spelled out, "Hello USA. Call Vanderbilt 7200" over New York's Times Square. 1925, The Grand Ole Opry made its radio debut on station WSM. 1942, In Boston, MA, 491 people died in a fire that destroyed the Coconut Grove. 1943, U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and Soviet Leader Joseph Stalin met in Tehran to map out strategy concerning World War II. 1953, New York City began 11 days without newspapers due to a strike of photoengravers. 1958, The African nation of Chad became an autonomous republic within the French community. 1963, U.S. President Johnson announced that Cape Canaveral would be renamed Cape Kennedy in honor of his assassinated predecessor. The name was changed back to Cape Canaveral in 1973 by a vote of residents. 1964, The U.S. launched the space probe Mariner IV from Cape Kennedy on a course set for Mars. 1978, The Iranian government banned religious marches. 1979, An Air New Zealand DC-10 flying to the South Pole crashed in Antarctica killing all 257 people aboard. 1983, The space shuttle Columbia took off with the STS-9 Spacelab in its cargo bay. 1985, The Irish Senate approved the Anglo-Irish accord concerning Northern Ireland. 1987, A South African Airways Boeing 747 crashed into the Indian Ocean. All 159 people aboard were killed. 1989, Romanian gymnast Nadia Comaneci arrived in New York after escaping her homeland through Hungary. 1990, Margaret Thatcher resigned as prime minister of Britain. 1992, In Bosnia-Herzegovina, 137 tons of food and supplies were to be delivered to the isolated town of Srebrenica. 1992, In King William's Town, South Africa, black militant gunmen attacked a country club killing four people and injuring 20. 1994, Jeffrey Dahmer, a convicted serial killer, was clubbed to death in a Wisconsin prison by a fellow inmate. 1994, Norwegian voters rejected European Union membership. 1995, U.S. President Clinton signed a $6 billion road bill that ended the federal 55 mph speed limit. 2010, WikiLeaks released to the public more than 250,000 U.S. diplomatic cables. About 100,000 were marked "secret" or "confidential." 2022 Do smiled.
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