Good Morning, Do! Thank you, Moe!!! Today is Friday, November 30 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:  Florida Woman Battered Man Over Rejection  ______________________________________________________ Today, November 30 in 1939 The Russo-Finnish War began when 20 divisions of Soviet troops invaded Finland. Finland asked Germany for help. At the end of WWII, after the Germans had lost hundreds of thousands of troops and untold supplies, Finland changed sides to be on the winning side of WWII when it ended. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Most people have seen worse things in private than they pretend to be shocked at in public. --- Edgar Watson Howe (1853 - 1937) The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling. --- Paula Poundstone ______________________________________________________ In my job with a delivery company, I was getting phone directions to a customer's home. The woman very specifically said, "From the main road in the center of town go two lights. Look for the post office. Turn left onto the next street. Go 1.3 miles. Drive past one red hydrant and then take the next right. Go 50 yards. My driveway is the second on the right, and the number is on the mailbox." As I entered the information into the computer, I asked, "What color is your house?" The woman paused a second and said, "Hold on. I'll go check." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Not quite grasping the sanctity of "Monday Night Football," I plunked myself next to my new husband one Monday night to chat. He was distracted by the action on TV, and after being shushed a few times, I gave him a "look." Immediately contrite, he picked up the remote. "I'm sorry, honey," he apologized, "I'm being rude. You go ahead and talk--I'll just turn up the volume." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order. As the harried-looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor. "They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk blurted to the customer. "That was supposed to happen in your driveway!" ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Rebecca Lynn Phelps, 31 Tampa Florida  Florida Woman Battered Man Over Rejection  A Florida Woman battered her boyfriend after he said no and went back to bed after she grabbed his genitals wanting to have sex on Thanksgiving night, cops say. Rebecca Lynn Phelps, 31, was arrested for domestic battery following a confrontation in the Tampa-area home she shares with the victim and the couple's child. Phelps's arrest was the second time in 14 months that she was busted for allegedly battering a man who did not want to have sex with her, records show. Investigators allege that the victim, 25, was sleeping late Thursday night when Phelps entered their bedroom seeking to have sex. After Phelps groped her partner's private parts, the victim said no and went back to sleep, according to a criminal complaint. Phelps subsequently returned to the bedroom and started tapping the man's leg. The victim pretended to be asleep to ignore the defendant who was intoxicated, cops noted. Phelps then allegedly scratched the victim on his left eye causing it to swell and turn black and blue. Phelps, who told cops she did not touch the victim, was arrested on a misdemeanor domestic battery charge. She was released yesterday morning from the county jail after posting $100 bond. A judge has ordered Phelps to have no contact with the victim. In September 2017, Phelps was arrested after allegedly getting mad at a man because he did not want to have sexual relations with her. Phelps screamed at the victim and smacked him so hard on the right side of his face it left redness on his face. She also allegedly scratched the man's arm, causing it to bleed. Prosecutors subsequently declined to pursue the case against Phelps. It is unclear whether the victim in the 2017 matter is the same man in the current 
 From: Louis Re: How to recognize a scam  Dear Webby, How do you recognize if something is a silly scam or if it is real ? Louis  Dear Louis If there is a line that says: "Pass this on to all your friends." then it is a silly scam. Have FUN! DearWebby  
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 Astrological "Afterwards" Comments Aries: "Okay, let's do it again!" Taurus: "I'm hungry -- do you want some pizza?" Gemini: "Have you seen the remote?" Cancer: "When are we getting married?" Leo: "Wasn't I fantastic?" Virgo: "I need to wash the sheets." Libra: "I liked it if you liked it." Scorpio: "Perhaps I should untie you." Sagittarius: "Don't call me -- I'll call you." Capricorn: "Do you have a business card?" Aquarius: "Now let's try it with our clothes off!" Pisces: "What did you say your name was again?" Btw., I am a Taurus 
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 At the Checkout counter of the discount department store where I was a cashier, customers frequently asked me under what circumstances items were returnable. One woman who came through my line must have been aware of store policy. She pointed to the lacy red-and-black negligee she was about to purchase. "May I bring this back if it doesn't work?" she asked. ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Apply for Financial Aid Early  Apply for financial aid as early as possible. The amount of aid you get is based on your need level, fund availability, and the date your application process is completed. File your financial aid application as soon as you file your taxes. 8 Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
 
 
Carnival celebrations from around the world! 
 ___________________________________________________ A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey, are you ready yet?" Shouting back, the woman replies, "For crying out loud, Ed, I've been telling you for the last half hour...I'll be ready in a minute!" ___________________________________________________ A Priest at a Church picnic was staring at a member of his parish wearing the tiniest of bikinis. A Nun walked over and said, "Shame on you Father, staring at that woman like that!" The Priest replied, "Sister Mary Elizabeth, I know you to be on a diet, and yet I saw you ogling the buffet." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 >From Lisa While on maternity leave, a woman from our office brought in her new bundle of joy. She also had her seven-year-old son with her. Everyone gathered around the baby, and the little boy asked, "Mommy, can I have some money to buy a soda?" "What do you say?" she asked. Respectfully, the boy replied, "You're thin and beautiful." The woman reached in her purse and gave her son the money.  
 Today November 30 in 1700 8,000 Swedish troops under King Charles XII defeated an army of at least 50,000 Russians at the Battle of Narva. King Charles XII died on this day. 1782 The United States and Britain signed preliminary peace articles in Paris, ending the Revolutionary War. 1803 Spain completed the process of ceding Louisiana to France. 1838 Three days after the French occupation of Vera Cruz Mexico declared war on France. 1853 During the Crimean War, the Russian fleet attacked and destroyed the Turkish fleet at the battle of Sinope. 1858 John Landis Mason received a patent for the first pepper shaker with a screw-on cap. 1875 A.J. Ehrichson patented the oat-crushing machine. 1897 Thomas Edison's own motion picture projector had its first commercial exhibition. 1906 George Parker Bidder, President of the Marine Biological Association (UK) released a glass bottle with a message into the North Sea. The bottle spent 108 years and 38 days at sea before it was found on the shores of Germany in 2015. 1936 London's famed Crystal Palace was destroyed in a fire. The structure had been constructed for the International Exhibition of 1851. 1939 The Russo-Finnish War began when 20 divisions of Soviet troops invaded Finland. Finland asked Germany for help. At the end of WWII, after the Germans had lost hundreds of thousands of troops and untold supplies, Finland changed sides to be on the winning side of WWII. 1949 Chinese Communists captured Chungking. 1954 In Sylacauga, AL, Elizabeth Hodges was injured when a meteorite crashed through the roof of her house. The rock weighed 8-pounds. 1956 CBS replayed the program "Douglas Edward and the News" three hours after it was received on the West Coast. It was the world's first broadcast via videotape. 1962 U Thant of Burma was elected secretary-general of the United Nations, succeeding the late Dag Hammarskjold. 1966 The former British colony of Barbados became independent. 1981 The U.S. and the Soviet Union opened negotiations in Geneva that were aimed at reducing nuclear weapons in Europe. 1986 "Time" magazine published an interview with U.S. President Reagan. In the article, Reagan described fired national security staffer Oliver North as a "national hero." 1988 Kohlberg Kravis Roberts and Co. took over RJR Nabisco Inc. with a bid of $24.53 billion. 1989 PLO leader Yasser Arafat was refused a visa to enter the United States in order to address the U.N. General Assebly in New York City. 1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the Brady Bill. The bill required a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases and background checks of prospective buyers. 1995 President Clinton became the first U.S. chief executive to visit Northern Ireland. 1998 The Deutsche Bank AG announced that it would acquire Bankers Trust Corp. for $10.1 billion creating the world's largest financial institution. 2001 For the first time in it's history, McDonald's teamed up with a retail partner on its Happy Meal promotions. Toys R Us provided plush figures from it's Animal Alley. 2004 In Stockholm, Sweden, the Carl Larsson painting "Boenskoerd" ("Bean Harvest") was sold at auction for $730,000. The work had been in a private collection for more than a century. The Larsson work "Vid Kattegatt" ("By Kattegatt") sold for $640,000 at the same auction. 2018 Do smiled. 
 

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