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Todays Bonehead Award: Tennessee woman steals the wallet of dead car crash victim. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 18, in 0064 The Great Fire of Rome began. More of what happened on this day in history. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | | |
______________________________________________________ If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties. --- Sir Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.00. "That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That's still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap." The clerk handed him a mirror. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | | |
MALE OR FEMALE? SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles. KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs. TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and is often over-in- flated. SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out. PHOTOCOPIER -- female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up again -- and only when the right buttons are pushed. HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around. REMOTE CONTROL -- Definitely female, because it gives men pleasure; he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying. ______________________________________________________ While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?" "Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!" ______________________________________________________ >From FB ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brittney McCoy, 26, Greenbrier, Tennessee Woman steals the wallet of dead car crash victim. A Greenbrier woman is facing multiple charges after police said she stole a wallet from the body of a man who died in a wreck near her home last week and used his credit card to buy beer, cigarettes and other items at a nearby convenience store. Brittney McCoy, 26, is charged with theft, burglary, tampering with evidence and the fraudulent use of a credit card, according to a news release issued by Greenbrier Police on Friday. She was arrested Thursday, July 7 and booked into Robertson County Jail on $37,000 bond. McCoy was the first person to reach Ronald Lewis Clinard, 67, of Greenbrier, after he crashed his red Chevrolet pickup near Greenridge Apartments late last week, police said. She gave Clinards identification to responding officers when they arrived at the scene of the crash, Greenbrier Police Chief K.D. Smith said Friday. She claimed she found it lying by a tree, the chief said. To my knowledge, she didnt try to help the victim. Another gentleman, the second person on the scene, was the one who called for help. He tried to care for the gentleman in the car, hold his head up and help all he could until the paramedics got there. Investigators believe McCoy took Clinards wallet before the other person arrived on the scene, while Clinard was incapacitated, police said. They also think others may have been involved and are continuing their investigation into that possibility, the Friday release noted. A pistol is also missing from the crash scene, and investigators are looking into that as well, Smith said. He added that he's never seen anything like what happened last week during his 30-year career in law enforcement. She (McCoy) actually left the scene, purchased a soft drink with the victims card, brought [that drink] back to the scene and gave it to the victims daughter, who was on the scene, the chief said. Ive never seen anything this devastating. She had a total disregard for the deceased individual and his family. Greenbrier Police were tipped off to McCoys actions by members of Clinards family, Smith said. When the wallet was not found at the scene, the family called Clinards bank and they were informed about McCoys purchases, the chief said. Once investigators were notified, they obtained surveillance video of McCoy making the purchases, Smith said. We spoke to her, interviewed her, and she showed no sign of any kind of remorse, the chief said. Clinard was driving north on Highway 41 near Greenridge Apartments at about 3 p.m. on July 1 when his truck crossed two lanes of traffic, struck a grass embankment and went airborne before it came to rest in a section of trees along the road, police said in a prior interview. He was declared dead at the scene. Authorities are not sure what caused the wreck, and the investigation into the circumstances surrounding it are continuing. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Brigit RE: Copyright Symbol Dear Webby, How do you make the copyright symbol that you put on some of your pictures? I am trying to write a neat little copyright notice like that onto a bunch of pictures, but pasting it does not look good. Thanks Brigit Dear Brigit Go into your graphics program, even Windows PAINT, and If you have a regular keyboard, not just a phone or a laptop, then simply hold down the ALT key and type 0169 on the numeric keypad. Open a picture, select the text tool, select the text color, make the Copyright symbol, type your name and the date, adjust the text size, if necessary, hit Enter to paste that text, move it to the precise spot where you want it, right- click to nail it and it is done. If you don't have a regular keyboard, get ExtraKeys It gives you a small on-screen keyboard with all the extra keys. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group of ladies from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover. After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied, "I don't know about you, but in MY congregation, it's my face they would recognize." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Peanut Butter Roll Candy By Charlene S. My grandmother always did the recipe with 1 medium potato, 1 stick of butter (room temp.), pinch of salt, 1 tsp. vanilla & add powder sugar till forms dough. Roll out on powdered sugar sprinkled board covered with wax paper. Spread with peanut butter (add coconut & chopped nuts if you want) & roll tightly. Makes 2-3 rolls. Refrigerate & slice into pieces. Nothing new to add for the recipe.. just a FYI Use cotton string to cut logs into slices. This prevents breakage or misshapen pieces. ______________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________ A PSYCHOLOGIST is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. A PROFESSOR is one who talks in someone else's sleep. ___________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Her husband had passed on and the new widow was so distraught that she sought out a spiritualist who told her that her husband was just fine. She added further that he was eagerly awaiting a reunion with her. "Is there anything he needs ?" the distraught woman asked, between tears. The spiritualist went into a transient state, then replied, "He says he'd love a carton or two of cigarettes." "I'll send some cartons immediately." the woman said joyfully. "But did he say where I should send them ?" "No." replied the Seer somberly, and added with an evil grin: "But he didn't ask for matches." "Oh GREAT!" exclaimed the woman."Then he is either with Zeus and the eternal olympic flame, or with Thor, the god of thunder and lighning!" ____________________________________________________ A big-game photographer went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the wife awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. He picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said the husband. "Those old lions are pretty tough. He'll be OK." ____________________________________________________ | | Building sized murals by the ETAM Cru. |
| Today on July 18 0064 The Great Fire of Rome began. 1536 The authority of the pope was declared void in England. 1789 Robespierre, a deputy from Arras, France, decided to back the French Revolution. 1812 Great Britain signed the Treaty of Orebro, making peace with Russia and Sweden. 1830 Uruguay adopted a liberal constitution. 1872 The Ballot Act was passed in Great Britain, providing for secret election ballots. 1914 Six planes of the U.S. Army helped to form an aviation division called the Signal Corps. 1932 The U.S. and Canada signed a treaty to develop the St. Lawrence Seaway. 1935 Ethiopian King Haile Selassie urged his countrymen to fight to the last man against the invading Italian army. 1936 The first Oscar Meyer Wienermobile rolled out of General Body Companys factory in Chicago, IL. 1936 The Spanish Civil War began as Gen. Francisco Franco led an uprising of army troops based in Spanish North Africa. 1942 The German Me-262, the first jet-propelled aircraft to fly in combat, made its first flight. 1944 U.S. troops captured Saint-Lo, France, ending the battle of the hedgerows. 1944 Hideki Tojo was removed as Japanese premier and war minister due to setbacks suffered by his country in World War II. 1947 U.S. President Truman signed the Presidential Succession Act, which placed the Speaker of the House and the Senate President Pro Tempore next in the line of succession after the vice president. 1971 New Zealand and Australia announced they would pull their troops out of Vietnam. 2001 A train derailed, involving 60 cars, in a Baltimore train tunnel. The fire that resulted lasted for six days and virtually closed down downtown Baltimore for several days. 2016 Do smiled. |
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