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| Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, September 25 ___________________________________________________ History on this day, september 25, in 1890, The Sequoia National Park was established as a U.S. National Park in Central California. ____________________________________________________ international bonehead award Man Who Murdered 18 yr old Republican Teenager Over Political Argument Is Free on Bail ____________________________________________________ A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something. --- Wilson Mizner (1876 - 1933) Bloom where you are planted. --- Socratex "When it comes to change, there are three seasons of timing: People change when they hurt enough that they have to, when they learn enough that they want to, and when they receive enough that they are able to." - --- John Maxwell ___________________________________________________ A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along. "I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that evening. "I didn't catch a thing!" "Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare the fish away," his mother said. The boy said, "It wasn't that. She ate all the bait." ____________________________________________________ On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple has a fatal car accident. The couple is sitting outside heavens gate waiting on St. Peter to do the paperwork so they can enter. While waiting, they wonder if they could possibly get married in heaven. St. Peter finally shows up and they ask him. St. Peter says, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has ever asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves. The couple sit for a couple of months and begin to wonder if they really should get married in heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. What if it doesn't work out?" they wonder. "Are we stuck together forever?" St. Peter returns after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you can get married in Heaven." "Great," says the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" exclaims the frightened couple. "Good Grief!" St. Peter exclaims, "It took me five months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it's going to take for me to find a lawyer?" __________________________________________________ reported by rock an international bonehead award has been earned by Shannon Brandt, 41, Glenfield, North Dakota, USA Man Who Murdered 18 yr old Republican Teenager Over Political Argument Is Free on Bail A North Dakota man who allegedly struck a Republican teenager with his car on purose because the two had a "political argument" was released on Tuesday, Fox News reported. Shannon Brandt, 41, last week told police that he hit 18- year-old Cayler Ellingson, who he thought was "part of a Republican extremist group," according to an affidavit obtained by Fox. "Brandt admitted to striking the pedestrian with his car because he had a political argument with the kid," the affidavit continues. Ellingson died of his injuries. A breath test found Brandt's blood alcohol level above the legal limit. The case comes as fears of political violence rise across the United States. Nearly two-thirds of Americans say political divisions will increasingly spill over into violence, according to a CBS poll this month. President Joe Biden on Sept. 1 used a national speech on unity to say that "MAGA Republicans" spread "fear and lies" and are committed to "destroying American democracy." Brandt told the judge in his case that he doesn't understand the charges against him and objected to the bail amount. He was ultimately released on $50,000 bail. _____________________________________________________ A poor vagabond, traveling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon." He knocked. The Innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye spare some victuals?" he asked. The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition. "No!" she said rather sternly. "Could I have a pint of ale?" "No!" she said again. "Could I at least sleep in your stable?" "No!" by this time she was fairly shouting. The vagabond said, "Might I please...?" "What now?" the woman interrupted impatiently. "D'ye suppose," he asked, "I might have a word with George?" _____________________________________________________ phillips_benji _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Dr. Connie for this report: What doctors say, and what they're really thinking: "This should be taken care of right away." I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month, but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself. "Welllllll, what have we here...?" He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue. "Let me check your medical history." I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you. "Why don't we make another appointment later in the week." I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time. --or-- I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit. "We have some good news and some bad news." The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it. "Let's see how it develops." Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that I can prescribe something for. "Let me schedule you for some tests." I have a forty percent interest in the lab. "I'd like to prescribe a new drug." I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig. "If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call." I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself. "That's quite a nasty looking wound." I think I'm going to throw up. "This may smart a little." Last week two patients bit off their tongues. "Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?" I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here? "This should fix you up." The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff. "Everything seems to be normal." Rats! I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all. "I'd like to run some more tests." I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one. "There is a lot of that going around." That's the third one this week! I'd better learn something about this. "If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment." I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Thankfully I'm off next week. _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Musha Magnificent transparent intense yellow Anglesite crystals surrounded by other greyish Anglesite crystals with Galena inclusions ??????????. Locality: Touissit, Touissit District, Jerada Province, Oriental Region, Morocco ????. Size: 13.5 x 12 x 6 cm. Main crystal size: 4 cm. ___________________________________________________ Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling. But I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet. _________________________________________________ dearwebby's tech support pits From: Daniella RE: Make icons stay put Dear Webby, I KNOW you have told us a dozen times already, but I got Oldtimers disease almost as bad as Joe Who. How do I make icons stay where I have put thme, without Windoze moving them aound? Daniella Dear Daniella Right-click on the desktop VIEW make sure auto-arrange is NOT checkmarked. make sure align icons to grid is NOT checkmarked Then go into SORT BY and make sure NOTHING is checkmarked. That is all there is to it. Hidden right under your pretty nose. Have FUN! Dear Webby ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Dianne for this story: We got lucky when we heard the old Piedmont Hotel in Atlanta was getting a face-lift and its beautiful maple doors became available for sale as salvage items. We bought several and had them installed in our 19th-century home. Showing a friend around the house, I pointed out, "You know, these doors are from the Piedmont Hotel." He raised an eyebrow. "Most people just take the towels." _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Lisa for this story: I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my husband was stationed in the military. As I checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked me some standard security questions. "Has anyone given you any packages that you didn't pack yourself?" he asked. I told him that my mother-in-law had given me a parcel to take to her son. He looked at me very carefully and asked: "Does she like you?" _____________________________________________ ophelia dingbatter's news no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ today, september 25, in 1492, The crew of the Pinta, one of Christopher Columbus' ships, mistakenly thought that they had spotted land. 1493, Christopher Columbus left Spain with 17 ships on his second voyage to the Western Hemisphere. 1513, The Pacific Ocean was discovered by Spanish explorer Vasco Nunez de Balboa when he crossed the Isthmus of Panama. He named the body of water the South Sea. He was actually just the first European to see the Pacific Ocean. 1775, Ethan Allen was captured by the British during the American Revolutionary War. He was leading the attack on Montreal. 1789, The first U.S. Congress adopted 12 amendments to the Constitution. Ten of the amendments became the Bill of Rights. 1847, During the Mexican-American War, U.S. forces led by General Zachary Taylor captured Monterrey Mexico. 1890, The Sequoia National Park was established as a U.S. National Park in Central California. 1890, Mormon President Wilford Woodruff issued a Manifesto in which the practice of polygamy was renounced. 1919, U.S. President Woodrow Wilson collapsed after a speech in Pueblo, CO. The speaking tour was in support of the Treaty of Versailles. 1933, Tom Mix was heard on NBC Radio for the first time. His show ran until June of 1950. 1956, A transatlantic telephone-cable system began operation between Newfoundland and Scotland. 1957, 300 U.S. Army troops stood guard as nine black students were escorted to class at Central High School in Little Rock, AR. The children had been forced to withdraw 2 days earlier because of unruly white mobs. 1965, Willie Mays, at the age of 34, became the oldest man to hit 50 home runs in a single season. He had also set the record for the youngest to hit 50 ten years earlier. 1973, The three crewmen of Skylab II landed in the Pacific Ocean after being on the U.S. space laboratory for 59 days. 1978, Melissa Ludtke, a writer for "Sports Illustrated", filed a suit in U.S. District Court. The result was that Major League Baseball could not bar female writers from the locker room after the game. 1981, Sandra Day O'Connor became the first female justice of the U.S. Supreme Court when she was sworn in as the 102nd justice. She had been nominated the previous July by U.S. President Ronald Reagan. 1983, A Soviet military officer, Stanislav Petrov, averted a potential worldwide nuclear war. He declared a false alarm after a U.S. attack was detected by a Soviet early warning system. It was later discovered the alarms had been set off when the satellite warning system mistakenly interpreted sunlight reflections off clouds as the presence of enemy missiles. 1986, An 1894-S Barber Head dime was bought for $83,000 at a coin auction in California. It is one of a dozen that exist. 1987, The booty collected from the Wydah, which sunk off Cape Cod in 1717, was auctioned off. The worth was around $400 million. 1990, The U.N. Security Council voted to impose an air embargo against Iraq. Cuba was the only dissenting vote. 1991, The U.N. Security Council unanimously ordered a worldwide arms embargo against Yugoslavia and all of its warring factions. 1992, In Orlando, FL, a judge ruled in favor of 12-year-old Gregory Kingsley. He had sought a divorce from his biological parents. 1992, The Mars Observer blasted off on a mission that cost $980 million. The probe has not been heard from since it reached Mars in August of 1993. 1995, Ross Perot announced that he would form the Independence Party. 1997, NBC sportscaster Marv Albert pled guilty to assault and battery of a lover. He was fired from NBC within hours. 2002, U.S. forces landed in Ivory Coast to aid in the rescue of foreigners trapped in a school by fighting between government troops and rebel troops. Rebels had attempted to take over the government on September 19. 2012, China launched its first aircraft carrier into service. 2022 Do! smiled. |
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