Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, February 26 Today's Bonehead Award:  Ex-"American Idol" contestant was arrested with enough fentanyl to kill 415,000 people  ______________________________________________________ Today, February 26 in 1930 New York City installed traffic lights. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Conceit is God's gift to little men. --- Bruce Barton I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's willing to make a decision she'll regret in the future." --- Richard Jeni ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating a proposal. "Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend. "Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're 90." ------- Hey, Ladies! I am not enormously wealthy, but before my fist sip of coffee in the morning, I feel like I was 90.  _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ Bernie was unfortunate enough to be hit by a truck and ended up in the hospital. His best friend Morris came to visit him. Bernie struggles to tell Morris, "My wife Sadie visits me three times a day. She's so good to me. Every day, she reads to me at the bedside." "What does she read?" asks Morris. "My life insurance policy." ______________________________________________________   Do you see the dragon? _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Antonella Barba, 32, Norfolk, New Jersey  Ex-"American Idol" contestant was arrested with enough fentanyl to kill 415,000 people  A former "American Idol" and "Fear Factor" contestant was arrested last October with enough fentanyl to kill 415,000 people, according to an analysis by The Virginian-Pilot using Drug Enforcement Administration statistics. But before Antonella Barba was indicted earlier this month in federal court, she was doing well on bond while awaiting trial on related charges in state court. With the support of federal prosecutors, U.S. Magistrate Judge Lawrence R. Leonard agreed Wednesday to let Barba, 32, live with her parents in New Jersey while she waits for her new trial. Barba will be released Thursday after she is fitted with a special monitor that will make sure she follows a curfew. If she violates the terms of her release, her father could be forced to pay $10,000. No trial is currently scheduled in U.S. District Court in Norfolk. According to court documents and prosecutors, Barba is one of eight members of a drug conspiracy that was active in Hampton Roads from at least late 2017 through the fall of 2018. All but one of them are now in custody. Norfolk police arrested Barba around 11:30 a.m. Oct. 11, 2018, in the 500 block of Duke Street, according to a department spokesman. The indictment said Justin Michael Isaac directed her that day to deliver about 830 grams of fentanyl to a conspirator. That is almost two pounds. According to the DEA, 2 mgs or 0.002 grams of fentanyl is lethal to most people. That means they got the dope for over 400,000 capital punishments. No more lame brained excuses!  
 >From Ann Re: Identifying your computer in filters  Dear DearWebby I agree that the forged sender spam is getting out of hand. Now, how do I identify my computer to allow real mail from myself to go through, -I do send memos and important stuff to myself-, but let filters grab any forged mail? Ann  Dear Ann Send a mail to yourself and look at the header. In there you will see the machine name, that you gave your machine, when you set up your home network. It will be something like "Ann5". Then use your MailWasher to make a filter to nuke all mail with your address in the FROM field, except when "Ann5" is in the entire header. Simple, but 100% effective. Have Fun! DearWebby  
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 Thanks to Roland for this story: A Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?" Maria: "Well Seora, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you." Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?" Maria: "Your husband said so." Wife: "Oh." Maria: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you." Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?" Maria: "Your husband did." Wife: "Oh." Maria: "My third reason is that I am a better lover than you." Wife (really furious now): "Did my husband say that as well?" Maria: "No Seora, the postman did." She got the raise. 
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 Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men.... that night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their eyes After a few days they meet again..... The engaged girlfriend said: "The other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4" stilettos and mask. He said, "You are the woman of my life, I love you... then we made love all night long." The mistress stated: "Oh Yes! The other night we met in his office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word. We just had wild sex all night." The married one then said: "The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mother's for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV controller and a beer, and said, "Hey Batman, what's for dinner?" ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Treat Carpet Stains Immediately Treat spills quickly for the best chance of avoiding a stain. Much can be removed if you immediately blot with a towel. If you have kids, make sure they know that they need to tell you about spills immediately so they do not have time to set.  Thriftyfun.com   ____________________________________________________   
  
 
MILLIONS OF CARS ARE ROTTING IN THE OPEN AIR! Check out her Instagram page. 
 ___________________________________________________ An American tourist was visiting a small village in Ireland when there was a sudden gust of wind which blew his hat off into the middle of a nearby pond. Walking over to a local, who was sitting beside the pond, the tourist asked, "Say, son, how deep is this pond?" "Oh, only a few inches," replied the local. After taking his shoes off and rolling his trousers up over his knees, the tourist stepped into the pond to retrieve his hat and, within a few seconds, was completely submerged in the water. Swimming out to the middle of the pond he finally reached his hat, and then struggled back to edge. Climbing out, he turned to the local and screamed, "Hey you, I thought you said that pond was only a few inches deep!" "Well," shrugged the local, "the water only comes half way up that duck over there." ___________________________________________________ I met a man who had been married for 66 years. "Amazing. 66 years!" I said. "What's the secret to such a long, happy marriage?" "Well," he replied, "It's like this. The man makes all the big decisions and the woman just makes the little decisions." "Really?" I responded. "Does that really work?" "Oh, yes," he said proudly. "66 years, and so far, not one big decision!" ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Thanks to Sandie for this story: Because my mother had a habit of losing her cordless phone, I bought her a phone with a clip on it so she could attach it directly to her belt. A few days later, I walked into my mother's home and found her standing in the middle of the living room, halfway dressed. That didn't strike me as odd so much as the fact that she was holding her pants to the side of her head and speaking into them. "Don't look at me that way," she yelled. "The phone started ringing and I couldn't figure out how to undo this stupid clip!" ___________________________________________________  
 Today February 26 in 1815 Napoleon Bonaparte escaped from the Island of Elba. He then began his second conquest of France. 1848 The second French Republic was proclaimed. 1863 U.S. President Lincoln signed the National Currency Act. 1870 In New York City, the first pneumatic-powered subway line was opened to the public. (Beach Pneumatic Transit) 1881 S.S. Ceylon began his world-wide cruise, beginning in Liverpool, England. 1907 The U.S. Congress raised their own pay to $7500. 1916 Mutual signed Charlie Chaplin to a film contract. 1919 In Arizona, the Grand Canyon was established as a National Park with an act of the U.S. Congress. 1929 U.S. President Coolidge signed a bill creating the Grand Teton National Park. 1930 New York City installed traffic lights. 1933 A ground-breaking ceremony was held at Crissy Field for the Golden Gate Bridge. 1945 In the U.S., a nationwide midnight curfew went into effect. 1952 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill announced that Britain had developed an atomic bomb. The US had given Britain and France the necessary information. 1979 "Flatbush" debuted on CBS-TV. 1986 Corazon Aquino was inaugurated president of the Philippines. Long time President Ferdinand Marcos went into exile. 1987 The Tower Commission rebuked U.S. President Reagan for failing to control his national security staff in the wake of the Iran-Contra affair. 1987 The U.S.S.R. conducted its first nuclear weapons test after a 19-month moratorium period. 1991 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein announced on Baghdad Radio that Iraqi troops were being withdrawn from Kuwait. 1993 Six people were killed and more than a thousand injured when a van exploded in the parking garage beneath the World Trade Center in New York City. The bomb had been built by Islamic extremists. 1995 Barings PLC collapsed after a securities dealer lost more than $1.4 billion by gambling on Tokyo stock prices. The company was Britain's oldest investment banking firm. 1998 A Texas jury rejected an $11 million lawsuit by Texas cattlemen who blamed Oprah Winfrey for price drop after on-air comment about mad-cow disease. 1998 In Oregon, a health panel rules that taxpayers must help to pay for doctor-assisted suicides. 2001 A U.N. tribunal convicted Bosnian Croat political leader Dario Kordic and military commander Mario Cerkez of war crimes. They had ordered the systematic murder and persecution of Muslim civilians during the Bosnian war. 2002 In Rome, Italy, a bomb exploded near the Interior Ministry. No injuries were reported. 2009 Former Serbian president Milan Milutinovic was acquitted by the International Criminal Tribunal for the former Yugoslavia regarding war crimes during the Kosovo War. 2009 The Pentagon reveresed its 18-year policy of not allowing media to cover returning war dead. The reversal allowsd some media coverage with family approval. 2019 Do smiled. 
 

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