Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, March 7 Thank you, Jack!! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Wichita man arrested for attacking woman, dog with sword ___________________________________________________ Today, March 7 in 1971 A thousand U.S. planes bombed Cambodia and Laos. ____________________________________________________ The only paradise is paradise lost. --- Marcel Proust (1871 - 1922) Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address. --- Lane Olinghouse ____________________________________________________ >From Kathy I had been teaching my seventh-graders about World War II, and a test question was, "What was the largest amphibious assault of all time?" Expecting to see "the D-Day invasion" as the answer, I found instead on one paper, "Moses and the plague of frogs." ____________________________________________________ >Ross sent tis one in 2005 One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies: "I'm sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week" The florist is pleased and leaves the shop. Next morning when the barber goes to open there is a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies: "I'm sorry, I cannot accept money; I'm doing community service this week." The cop is happy and leaves the shop. Next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door. Later a Republican comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies: "I'm sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week." The Republican is very happy and leaves the shop Next morning when the barber goes to open; there is a thank you card and a dozen different books such as "How to improve your business and becoming more successful". Then a Democrat comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies: "I'm sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week." The Democrat is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Democrats lined up waiting for a free haircut. ____________________________________________________ Fowmiya Azeez ___________________________________________________ The sermon had been going on too long, and the minister should have been able to see the congregation getting more than a little restless; he droned on none-the-less for yet another 15 minutes. Finally he paused and said, "What else can I say, Brothers and Sisters?" "How about 'Amen,' preacher?" said a hungry soul from the rear of the church. __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by James Brown, 41, Wichita, Kansas, USA Wichita man arrested for attacking woman, dog with sword WICHITA, Kan. (KAKE) - A 41-year-old Wichita man accused of attacking his girlfriend and her dog with a sword has been charged with attempted second- degree murder. James Brown made his first court appearance Thursday where he was also charged with cruelty to animals and aggravated domestic battery. At approximately 2 a.m. on Tuesday, March 2, officers responded to a home in the 1500 of North New York. Upon arrival, officers contacted a 41-year-old woman with severe lacerations to her hand and back. She was taken to the hospital with for treatment. An investigation revealed the woman and her boyfriend, identified as Brown, got into a verbal disturbance. Police said Brown grabbed a five to six-foot sword during the disturbance, struck the woman multiple times, and stabbed her dog multiple times. WPD said in a news release the woman and the dog are expected to make a full recovery. With assistance from the community, Brown was located and arrested on Wednesday. Brown's bond is set at $100,000. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:The other Bill Re: How to get rid of Internet Exploder 11 Dear Webby My wife has gone to a site, that she should not have, and it made Internet Exploder the default browser. That is a piece of Pelosi. We use W7. I went in there and changed the default back to Chrome. I can use Chrome, but when clicking ona link in the mail, it opens that stupid Internet Exploder 11, slowly. Uninstalling it did not help. Nothing I tried helped. Microsoft was not help. They told me W7 is not supported anymore and that I should downgrade to W10. What do I have to do to get rid of that nuisance? The other Bill Dear Bill Yes, they don't know how to fix that problem. Somebody squewed up and Internet Exploder is no longer treated as a program, but as a "Feature", that can be turned on by viruses or attack pages. That is like saying Hemorrhoids are a health "feature", and somebody is going to fry in hell for that! I your case, most likely your wife went to a dubious genealogy or criminal records reference page, disregarded the warning by your protection, and that page turned on the Internet Exploder "feature", because it is less secure than Chrome and easier for hackers. By the time your wife realized that some bad stuff was happening, it was too late. To turn Windows features on or off, follow these steps: Click the Start button Click Control Panel Click Programs Click Turn Windows features on or off. If you are prompted for an administrator password or confirmation, type the password or provide confirmation. To turn a Windows feature off, clear the check box. Click OK. Internet Exploder 11 is NOT a program, that can be UNinstalled, but a "Feature" (like hemorrhoids) built into the core. Tell your wife that you only turned that "feature" off by getting Preparation H all over your fingers, but that hackers can turn it on again, and WILL do that, if she goes back to that site. Have FUN! DearWebby A van carrying a dozen movie stunt men on the way to a film location in the mountains spun out of control on the icy road, crashed through a guardrail, rolled down a 90-foot embankment, turned over, and burst into flames. There were no injuries. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Years ago while attending a dinner party hosted by some friends of mine the hostess served a meal with this delicious mushroom sauce. After the meal there was a small amount left over and the hostess decided to allow her pregnant cat to enjoy the treat as well as the guests. The guests all felt it was a great gesture and showed the cat was a member of the family. The sauce was the highlight of the evenings topic of conversation, everyone commented on how delicious it was, and the hostess beamed at all the compliments. One of the guest commented that toadstools were much like mushrooms except for being toxic, and how funny it would be is such a culinary treat were made from that instead. As if on cue, the pet cat started crying and squirming on the floor, clutching its belly. The hostess exclaimed, "Oh my God, it's the mushroom sauce!" We all went to the emergency room in a mad rush, and had our stomachs pumped after telling them we had eaten poisonous mushrooms. This was an extremely unpleasant experience. We we got back, the cat was lying on the floor peacefully looking up at us, and had in the meantime given birth to six kittens. ____________________________________________ Some people are pessimists, they think the glass is half empty. Some people are optimists, they think the glass is half full. I am a realist, I know that sooner or later, I am going to have to wash that damned thing! ____________________________________________ Working for a pediatrician calls for stifling a chuckle from time to time. When a frantic mother phoned to tell us her baby had a high temperature of 102, we had to know whether she was taking the reading under the arm, in the mouth or elsewhere. So we asked, "How are you taking it?" Her reply: "Oh, I'm holding up pretty well!" ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, March 7 in 0322 BC Aristotle, the Greek philosopher, died. 1774 The British closed the port of Boston to all commerce. That did not go over well. 1799 In Palestine, Napoleon captured Jaffa and his men massacred more than 2,000 Albanian prisoners. 1848 In Hawaii, the Great Mahele was signed. 1849 The Austrian Reichstag was dissolved. 1850 U.S. Senator Daniel Webster endorsed the Compromise of 1850 as a method of preserving the Union. 1854 Charles Miller received a patent for the sewing machine. 1876 Alexander Graham Bell received a patent (U.S. Patent No. 174,465) for his telephone. 1901 A grand jury indicted four citizens of Anderson, SC, that had been operating a slavery system in parts of South Carolina. It was determined that many African-Americans were captured while traveling, were jailed and then sent to work for local landowners. 1904 The Japanese bombed the Russian town of Vladivostok. 1904 In Springfield, OH, a mob broke into a jail and shot a black man accused of murder. 1906 Finland granted women the right to vote. 1908 Cincinnati's Mayor Leopold Markbreit announced before the city council that, "Women are not physically fit to operate automobiles." 1911 Willis Farnworth patented the coin-operated locker. 1911 In the wake of the Mexican Revolution, the U.S. sent 20,000 troops to the border of Mexico. 1918 Finland signed an alliance treaty with Germany. 1925 The Soviet Red Army occupied Outer Mongolia. 1927 A Texas law that banned Negroes from voting was ruled unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court. 1933 The board game Monopoly was invented. 1935 Malcolm Campbell set an auto speed record of 276.8 mph in Florida. 1936 Hitler sent German troops into the German speaking Rhineland in violation of the Locarno Pact and the Treaty of Versailles. 1942 Japanese troops landed on New Guinea. 1945 During World War II, U.S. forces crossed the Rhine River at Remagen, Germany. 1951 U.N. forces in Korea under General Matthew Ridgeway launched Operation Ripper against the Chinese. 1954 Russia appeared for the first time in ice-hockey competition. Russia defeated Canada 7-2 to win the world ice-hockey title in Stockholm, Sweden. 1955 "Peter Pan" was presented as a television special for the first time. 1959 Melvin C. Garlow became the first pilot to fly over a million miles in jet airplanes. 1965 State troopers and a sheriff's posse broke up a march by civil rights demonstrators in Selma, AL. 1968 The Battle of Saigon came to an end. 1971 A thousand U.S. planes bombed Cambodia and Laos. 1981 Anti-government guerrillas in Colombia executed the kidnapped American Bible translator Chester Allen Bitterman. The guerrillas accused Bitterman of being a CIA agent. 1985 The first AIDS antibody test, an ELISA-type test, was released. 1987 Mike Tyson became the youngest heavyweight titleholder when he beat James Smith in a decision during a 12-round fight in Las Vegas, NV. 1989 Poland accused the Soviet Union of a World War II massacre in Katyn. Since there was adequate proof, the Soviets admitted it. 1994 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that parodies that poke fun at an original work can be considered "fair use" that does not require permission from the copyright holder. 1994 In Moldova, a referendum was rejected by 90% of voters to form a union with Rumania. 2002 A federal judge awarded Anna Nicole Smith more than $88 million in damages. The ruling was the latest in a legal battle over the estate of Smith's late husband, J. Howard Marshall II. 2003 Scientists at the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center announced that they had transferred 6.7 gigabytes of uncompressed data from Sunnvale, CA, to Amsterdam, Netherlands, in 58 seconds. The data was sent via fiber-optic cables and traveled 6,800 miles. 2009 NASA's Kepler Mission, a space photometer for searching for extrasolar planets in the Milky Way galaxy, was launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, Florida. 2012 The successor to Apple's iPad2 was unveiled. 2017 In Malta, the Azure Window landmark collapsed into the sea after period of heavy storms. 2021 Do smiled. |
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