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Today's Bonehead Award goes to Tulsa, OK stripper and friends arrested for kidnapping and robbing an invited visitor. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, April 1, in 1578 William Harvey of England discovered blood circulation. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. --- A. H. Weiler (1909 - 2002) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "Mom," said the little girl, "Is it alright to say you are going to water the horse when you are giving him a drink of water?" Yes," said her mother, "that is the correct thing to say." Well then, I'm going to milk the parrot!" ______________________________________________________ Ending his sermon, a preacher announced that he would preach on Noah and the Ark on the following Sunday, and gave the scriptural reference for the congregation to read ahead of time. A couple of boys noticed something interesting about the placement of the story in the Bible. They slipped into the church and glued two pages of the pulpit Bible together. The next Sunday, the preacher got up to read his text. "Noah took unto himself a wife," he began, "and she was" - he turned the page to continue - "three hundred cubits long, fifty cubits wide and thirty cubits high." He paused, scratched his head, turned the page back, read it silently, and turned the page again. Then he looked up at his congregation and said, "I've been reading this old Bible for near fifty years, but there are some things in it that still amaze me." ______________________________________________________ Slovenia ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Bobby Willhite, 24, Anastasia Pitts, 19, Chang Saulsberry,33, Tulsa, Oklahoma Tulsa, OK stripper and friends arrested for kidnapping and robbing an invited visitor. According to Tulsa Police, a man who went to meet a stripper at her house was attacked and kidnapped by two men and the woman. As the victim walked into the stripper's residence Saturday night, two men jumped him, tied him up, pulled his shirt over his head and started to beat him. Then after he was robbed, they threw him into the trunk of his own car, where the suspects drove around for an hour, according to the victim. Once the vehicle came to a stop and the victim heard the suspects leave the vehicle, he kicked the seats in the back of the car open, and was able to escape before they returned. When the victim got out of the vehicle, he noticed he was in Catoosa in the Hard Rock Casino parking lot. He immediately told casino security what had happened and they contacted Catoosa Police. All three suspects, a white male, a white female and a black male, were arrested at the casino by Catoosa Police. Tulsa Police were called in to work the scene where the kidnapping took place in Tulsa. 19-year-old Anastasia Pitts, 24-year-old Bobby Willhite and 33-year-old Chang Saulsberry were all arrested Sunday, March 27 on robbery, kidnapping and stolen vehicle charges. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Nancy Re: How to get rid of B SOB Dear Webby My prob is one that only a genius like you can solve. A very LOUD page opens with dire warnings and never shuts off. It reads BSOB D11 register server fail. And a Microsoft phone number that will ask for money to fix it. Restarting does not help, it is always there. How can I get rid of it for good? Thank you sir. Nancy M. Dear Nancy "Bad SOB" is Ransom Ware and really bad shit. You need to download and install MalwareBytes and Adwarecleaner Be careful to download those ONLY from those safe links, and not from Cnet or other dubious sources, that may trick you into getting crappy "payloads" added. Then, after you have downloaded and installed those, here are the instructions: Remove BSOD They are too long to print here, but very nicely presented step by step on that page. Print them out, so that you can follow them even when you have your browser closed. Your machine got infected when you downloaded something without carefully watching and also downloaded the B SOB. It's not really difficult to remove the "Bad SOB", just tedious. Don't do it when you are in a hurry. Depending on the speed of your computer and your connection, it may take you half an hour to an hour to clean up. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ When my aunt's son was 3, he wanted a cuss word that he could use without getting yelled at. To appease the kid she told him that he could say, "Dag nabbit." Well, the problem was that next time his toy crane fell over it sounded like: "Damn Wabbit !!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Best Ever Split Pea Soup By Abigail A. [17 Posts, 1,124 Comments] Best Ever Split Pea Soup By Abigail A. [17 Posts, 1,124 Comments] This is the best and most frugal split pea soup recipe I know how to make. You can use yellow or green split peas. Approximate Time: overnight Ingredients: 6 cups water 2 cups dry split peas, green or yellow 1 smoked ham hock 2 Tbsp fat 2 Tbsp flour 4 cups milk salt and pepper Steps: Put water, split peas and ham hock in a crock pot. Cook on low until peas are very mushy, and the ham falls off the bone. Remove ham hock. Cut up ham meat and discard bone. Place fat and flour in a pot on the stove. Heat until foamy. Add milk and scald. Add ham meat and cooked peas. Mix well. Season with salt and black pepper. ______________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________ Little Sally went to the store with her grandmother. On the way home, she looked through her bags to see what gramma had purchased. In one package, Little Sally found some panty hose and she began to sound out the words "Queen Size." She then turned to her grandmother and exclaimed, "Wow Gramma, you're as big as Mom's bed!" ___________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ A young and arrogant pilot wanted to "show off" on the aviation frequencies as he was approaching an airfield during the night. So, he disregarded policy and, instead of making an official request to the tower, he said, "Guess who?" The air traffic controller switched the field lights off and replied, "Guess where?" ____________________________________________________ Sue: "I like cats, do you?" Bob: "Yes, I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes." ____________________________________________________ | 10 Astonishing Wood Sculptures |
| Today on April 1 0527 Justinianus became the emperor of Byzantium. 1572 The Sea Beggars under Guillaume de la Marck landed in Holland and captured the small town of Briel. 1578 William Harvey of England discovered blood circulation. 1621 The Plymouth, MA, colonists created the first treaty with Native Americans. 1748 The ruins of Pompeii were found. 1778 Oliver Pollock, a New Orleans businessman, created the "$" symbol. 1793 In Japan, the volcano Unsen erupted killing about 53,000. 1853 Cincinnati became the first U.S. city to pay fire fighters a regular salary. 1873 The British White Star steamship Atlantic sank off Nova Scotia killing 547. 1881 Anti-Jewish riots took place in Jerusalem. 1889 The first dishwashing machine was marketed (in Chicago). 1905 The British East African Protectorate became the colony of Kenya. 1924 Adolf Hitler was sentenced to five years in prison for high treason in relation to the "Beer Hall Putsch." 1927 The first automatic record changer was introduced by His Master's Voice. 1928 China's Chiang Kai-shek began attacking communists. 1929 Louie Marx introduced the Yo-Yo. 1931 An Earthquake devastated Managua Nicaragua killing 2,000. 1933 Nazi Germany began the persecution of Jews by boycotting Jewish businesses. 1937 Aden became a British colony. 1938 The first commercially successful fluorescent lamps were introduced. 1939 The U.S. recognized the Franco government in Spain at end of Spanish civil war. 1945 U.S. forces invaded Okinawa during World War II. It was the last campaign of World War II. 1948 The Berlin Airlift began. 1950 Italian Somalia became a United Nations trust territory under Italian administration. 1952 The Big Bang theory was proposed in "Physical Review" by Alpher, Bethe & Gamow. 1960 France exploded 2 atom bombs in the Sahara Desert. 1960 The U.S. launched TIROS-1, the first weather satellite. 1971 The United Kingdom lifted all restrictions on gold ownership. 1972 North Vietnamese and Viet Cong troops renewed their offensive in South Vietnam. 1973 Japan allowed its citizens to own gold. 1976 Apple Computer began operations. 1979 Iran was proclaimed to be an Islamic Republic by Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini after the fall of the Shah. 1982 The U.S. transferred the Canal Zone to Panama. 1985 World oil prices dropped below $10 a barrel. 1986 The U.S. submarine Nathaniel Green ran aground in the Irish Sea. 1987 Steve Newman became the first man to walk around the world. The walk was 22,000 miles and took 4 years. 1991 The Warsaw Pact was officially dissolved. 1998 A federal judge dismissed the Paula Jones' sexual harassment lawsuit against U.S. President Clinton saying that the claims fell "far short" of being worthy of a trial. 1999 In Zhytomyr, Ukraine, Anatoliy Onoprienko was sentenced to death for the deaths of 52 men, women and children. 43 of the killings occurred in a 6-month period. 1999 The Canadian territory of Nunavut was created. It was carved from the eastern part of the Northwest Territories and covered about 772,000 square miles. 2001 China began holding 24 crewmembers of a U.S. surveillance plane. The EP-3E U.S. Navy crew had made an emergency landing after an in-flight collision with a Chinese fighter jet. The Chinese pilot was missing and presumed dead. The U.S. crew was released on April 11, 2001. 2001 Former Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic was arrested on corruption charges after a 26-hour standoff with the police at his Belgrade villa. 2003 North Korea test-fired an anti-ship missile off its west coast. 2004 U.S. President George W. Bush signed the Unborn Victims of Violence Act. The bill made it a crime to harm a fetus during an assault on a pregnant woman. 2009 Albania and Croatia joined NATO. 2010 The U.S. Congress cut Medicare reimbursements to physicians by 21%, so half of them moved to Mexico. 2016 Do smiled. |
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